Page 125 of Trust Me Always

I shake my head, pulling away, and give his hand a little squeeze. “I have to go, Alister. I’m sorry but…” I don’t say anything else.

I start jogging straight ahead, past the grass and through the parking lot that leads to the main road. Once on the sidewalk, I pause, trying to decide if I should cross or not.

He might not see me if I stay on this side.

I wait for the road to clear and dart to the other side.

He’s at the last red light, but he’s not looking this way. He’s staring in the opposite direction. He’s staring at my dorm building.

Thankfully, this light isn’t a through street for other cars to cross but a walking path for students, so I run out into the middle of the road and wait.

Brady

The hundredth fucking sigh leaves me, and I drop my head against the headrest, trying to clear my mind, but it’s like a track is skipping, the same damn verse playing on repeat.

I’m going to talk to her and tell her I love her.

Fuck me.

Alister is in love with Cameron. Or at least he thinks he is.

I don’t want him to be. I want him to say he’s putting the ball down and walking away, waving his white flag of defeat. I want him to go away.

Jesus, Brady, what the hell have you gotten yourself into, man?

It’s not like she and I could ever bereal.Not when I’ve played into this fake persona the rest of the world has painted me as, and for what? To make things easier on myself? To not be the talk of the team? I’m far from ashamed, the polar fucking opposite in fact, but for it to come out now will make things worse.

How will she look at me when she finds out I’m so far from what she thinks I am?

When she finds out that the infamous playboy she’s known all her life is pretty much a preacher’s son?

A virgin at twenty years old. By choice, obviously, but what does that matter?

I’m a liar who hates lies.

I clench my eyes tighter and sigh. Not that she’d want to be with me anyway. I’m her friend.

We’refriends.

Okay, but even if we did have feelings for each other, it wouldn’t last. The fun and newness of having something real would wear off, and we’d fall back into the friend routine because it’s what we know.

But then again, what do we do now that we didn’t do before?

We laugh and have a good-ass time together, but that’s nothing new.

I fall asleep holding her in her bed sometimes, but I’ve done that a hundred times in the past—probably literally a hundred with all the years we’ve been friends.

She’s always had the most comfortable blankets, so no shit I picked her to bunk with when she and Ari weren’t sharing a bed. It’s not like it was some subconscious part of myself trying to show me what I couldn’t see.

And yeah, we’ve kissed a few times, but not because we just had to fucking go for it. It was just…necessary—to prove a point to the guy she does have feelings for.

The guy who is probably with her right now, pouring his fucking heart out to my girlfriend.

Fake girlfriend.

I groan.

Fuck, man.

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