Page 39 of Trust Me Always

I gape at my best friend, and she beams brighter, squealing when I hit her with a pillow.

“Stop.” She tries to rein in her laughter. “You’ll wake him, and he only just fell asleep.”

“Yes, well, if you had told me I was on a self-destructive warpath Saturday, I wouldn’t have skipped my round at the child development center just in case Alister was waiting outside it as he’s been known to do, and Deaton would be napping on his little cot over there and not here.”

“One, I like him here better because I don’t get to see him when you’re both there, and two, it was not self-destructive, so don’t be dramatic.”

“I had sex with the guy I’m trying to hate.”

“Is it still considered sex if you don’t make it to the grand finale?”

“Can you not even say the wordcome?” I snap back.

Ari chuckles, pressing her shoulder into mine. “Okay fine, but it still counts.”

I scoff, shifting on the couch and putting my head on the pillow pressed to her side.

Ari looks down at me, lips pinched, and I scowl up at her.

“What?”

“You saidtryingto hate.”

Huffing, I face the TV, watching without listening. “I don’t hate the man. I…dammit, I like him.”

“But?”

“But I’m not so sure I want to.”

“Because of what he did?”

“It’s more than the scheming,” I admit. “Obviously he fucked up, but it wasn’t just some little white lie. He was intentional in finding my soft spot. Kissed me the first time to get closer, not because he wanted to.” I pause, remembering the day we met last year and hating the bitter notes that roll across my tongue. “Our whole…nonrelationship relationship was built on fake interest. It’s tainted and I don’t know if, one, I can let that go and, two, if I even want to try.”

Ari is quiet for a moment, considering my words before asking, “Do you think he’s a bad person?” Her tone is one of genuine curiosity.

I sigh, closing my eyes. “Nope, and that right there just makes it all worse. I mean, we all do stupid shit when we’re hurt, right?”

“Not all of us,” she says, and I look up at her. “Not you.”

“Please.” I sigh. “I’m not a saint.”

“No, but you don’t hurt people when you’re hurt. You don’t act out. You accept it and you move on.”

I groan, kicking the blankets from my legs. “Then why the hell can’t I move on this time? I did just fine when Trey left for bigger and better things.”

Ari fights a smile, and I fly up, settling on my knees beside her.

“Knock it off. I did and you know it.”

“Okay, fine, you did, but maybe that’s because Trey left town and Alister is still here fighting for you.”

“It sounds like you think I should forgive him.”

“No, it sounds like you are waiting for someone else to tell you that you can, but you must already know that, Cam. If you want to forgive him, none of us are going to judge you.”

“Brady literally wanted to know if he should start befriending him.”

She smiles. “See?”

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