Page 114 of Ewan

Looking back, I should’ve fucked this woman when I played Santa that night.

How many times have I thought about that?

Yeah.

When everybody left, I could’ve easily talked my way into her panties. She would’ve said no to me, and maybe she would’ve thrown a fit, but one hand placed on the low of her back and her having her tits crushed against my chest would’ve helped her change her mind.

And I could’ve had her after her car broke down and she sat in my truck, right next to me.

I could’ve stared at her a little longer, served her some stupid line, narrowed my eyes at her, and looked at her like I’d never seen pussy in my life.

And if I didn’t lick her, I would’ve died.

And she would’ve lifted her hemline, opened her legs, and offered me the sweetness between her thighs.

And then I could’ve fucked her at her place.

The woman invited me in and offered me a cup of coffee. She probably wanted to offer me more.

I played the good guy and did the gentlemanly thing, and look where it’s gotten me.

The moment I kissed her could’ve been the start of our story.

I would’ve taken her that night in any way known to man, and she would’ve sung my name the next morning.

But then again, I needed time.

I needed time? What the fuck?

Why did I have to need time?

Because I was afraid that stepping into something with this beautiful woman and rushing things, I might learn one of two things.

That I wanted more than a one night stand.

Or that I wanted not to have anything to do with her because she didn’t deserve another jerk who left her high and dry.

I may have committed many sins. And I may have occasionally done horrible things, yet in her case, I didn’t want to be that man.

And finally, I could’ve turned things around and made her stay at the hotel. I could’ve asked the girl at the reception to take her to one of the luxurious apartments I often use upstairs. And then ask Scarlett to wait for me and give me a chance to explain myself to her.

The idea that I’d do that and talk to someone who’d already made up her mind made it a flawed plan, so I pulled back and let her go.

Her using my car and my driver was a good sign.

I thought it was only a matter of hours, maybe a day or two, before we could talk for real, go over the unpleasant truths, and I could perhaps ease her in.

It’s not easy to bring an outsider into a life of crime.

Usually, we marry women who have no choice or are highly interested in getting married to men like my brothers and I.

Sometimes, they are offered to us to cancel debts. The money that their families owe us. Or another type of debt.

And sometimes, they’re forced into making that step to consolidate their families. And then there are reasons that have nothing to do with love or pleasure.

After I lost Margot, I swore I wouldn’t take another wife.‘Why would I do it?’I thought to myself.

I was married.

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