Page 196 of His Hell Girl

A small war brews inside me. Do I kill her? She is my sister. But Miles is right that in attachments only make you weak. Andweakis something I never want to be.

Not when I've worked so hard to cleanse myself of any weakness I may have.

And so as I continue to rationalize the decision, the answer is clear.

I need to be strong.

Vanya will only drag me down—with this frail attachment I still have to her, and with her inherent weakness.

I will be strong.

By the time I reach our room, the decision is made. And somehow, Vanya knows it too.

She watches me closely as I step inside the room, the knife set hidden behind my back. As she looks at my face, she closes her eye, taking a deep breath. When she opens it again, a peace seems to settle over her features.

Slowly, ever so slowly, she gets up. Her steps are wobbly, her movements awkward as she can barely control her own body.

"Vlad," she says my name in that melodic voice of hers, and for a moment my heart beats painfully in my chest, the beats loud and aggressive against my ribcage.

And even as I rationalize the improbability ofthatI know something is wrong.

I'm wrong.

But I don't dwell on that. Not when the final test is within my grasp. Who knows, Miles might take me up as his full time assistant.

She's in front of me, tilting her head to the side and gazing up at me as if it's the last time she's seeing me. As if sheknows.

"I never told you," she starts, suddenly looking away, "but I know what you did for me."

I blink twice, frowning.

"What do you mean?"

"I know you tried to save me, and in the process you lost yourself. And because I know that… it's my fault too," she takes a deep breath, "I don't blame you. I don't blame you at all."

"Vanya… V," I call her name, a sad smile on her face when she hears it.

"If it hadn't been for me…" she trails off, and I note a tear in her good eye. "Maybe you would have still been you."

"I don't understand," I say. And I don't. How could I have lost myself when I finally found my calling?

"I know you don't." She shakes her head.

Seeing her so close, I realize I need to take advantage of her proximity. Opening up the knife set, I take the biggest blade out, ready to fulfill my mission.

But as I raise it in front of her, she doesn't move. She doesn't react at all.

She just looks into my eyes, a small nod as she waits for me to kill her.

And inthatmoment, for all my conviction that I need to do this, for all my rationalizing that I should kill my own sister—my twin—I find that I can't.

"I can't." The words slip out of my mouth, my voice barely above a whisper.

My chest is uncomfortably stiff, a tension throbbing in my temples as I look at my sister. The way her once beautiful hair is now a mess of dirt and blood. Or how her pale skin that once gleamed is now yellow streaked with purple bruises. Or how her eyes, once radiant, are now…

My breath catches in my throat as memories come rushing down, the pain slowly increasing, my limbs paralyzed with fear as I just look at her.

"I can't, V," I whisper.

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