Page 30 of His Hell Girl

A sterile white room, devoid of anything but me and Vanya.

"V?" I ask, my voice ragged.

"You should have stayed back. You survived after all, and isn't life the best gift of all?" she asks, crouching down in front of me.

"V… what's happening?"

"There's a reason why you can't remember, Vlad. It was the only way to keep living," she tells me, her voice sad and rueful.

"I don't understand."

"Don't you? We've been together since birth. I know you best." She turns her gaze to me. "My twin, my very own flesh. My protector. But what happened to us there…" She takes a deep breath. "You won't be the same if you remember, Vlad." Her voice is gentle as her hand covers mine.

"I need to. I need to find Miles and make him pay and…" I trail off.

"I know what you want, brother mine. Your secrets have never been hidden. You want to be worthy of her love." She sighs, standing up and pacing the room. "But I fear you won't be able to handle the memories."

"I can," I reply, my voice resolute. "I can," I repeat with even more confidence.

"Maybe you are ready… maybe you've finally grown," she whispers, almost to herself.

Planting herself in front of me, she materializes a knife, handing it to me.

"Then do it. Finish off the one thing that stands between you and the past," she instructs as she closes my hand over the hilt of the knife.

"What… what do you mean?" I croak, my eyes wide.

"I've stood by your side all these years, brother mine. I've watched over you, steering you in what I thought was the right direction. But I see that I've failed you." She turns her head to the side, a lone tear falling down. "I've let you use me as a buffer, so you never had to face what really happened. But no more." She shakes her head, wiping at her eyes.

"V… I don't understand."

"You need to let me go, Vlad. Let me return where I belong so you too can return where you belong."

She orients the knife with the tip toward her heart, pushing it slightly.

"No… no… I can't," I suddenly say, the prospect of never seeing her again too scary to contemplate.

"She'll be there for you, brother. Lean on her as you leaned on me. Even more so." She smiles sadly. "But for that you have to let her in. No more secrets, no more omissions," she pauses. "Tell her about me." She pushes the knife a little deeper.

"No, V. I can't do this. You're…" I trail off, tears in my eyes.

"I'm part of you, Vlad. I've always been. But I'm also… more." Her mouth curls up. "And you need to let me go."

"V…" I shake my head, my heart beating loudly in my chest.

"You've suppressed everything, brother. But it's all in here." She touches her finger to my head. "You just have to let it all come back."

"Will it help the episodes?" I ask, ashamed to even contemplate this.

"Episodes," Vanya chuckles and I frown. "I'm afraid those are my fault. I tried so hard to seal the rift in your mind… banish all the bad memories, that I didn't expect they would fight me back. They should lessen once I'm gone, just as your memories should slowly come back."

"You mean…" I blink disoriented, her words strange and yet making sense.

"I've been your shield for too long, Vlad. I'm tired. Please let me go," she whispers, pushing the knife even deeper.

"V…"

"Please, brother." She turns her eyes to me, those black irises so similar to my own, and I realize I have a choice to make.

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