Page 40 of His Hell Girl

Entwining the lace veil with a small diamond tiara, she places it over my coiffed hair.

"I can't believe you're getting married." I watch her through the mirror as she swipes a tear off her cheek. "You make such a pretty bride. The most beautiful." She leans in to kiss my forehead.

"Me neither," I murmur, forcing a smile.

Everyone around me is so happy, and given my atrocious lie, I can see why they'd be overjoyed for me. So I try to play into the illusion I've created, stretching my lips into a perpetual smile to ensure there's no doubt about my state of mind.

I am the bride, after all.

I stare at my reflection, unable to believe it's gotten to this point. How my life had degenerated in the span of one month. I'd never seen myself as particularly lucky, not given everything I've been through. But for one moment I'd thought that all the hardships would give way to happiness.

I'd left the convent that was the source of all my nightmares, and I'd finally found someone who understood me. Who sawme— with the good and the bad. I'd finally found myself after aimlessly wandering all my life.

But it hadn't lasted.

Now? Once again, I'm looking at a life of pretending.

Pretending I'm good.

Pretending I'm in love with my husband.

Pretending I'm not… more.

Recognizing the direction of my thoughts, I shake myself from my musings, turning back to Lina and smiling widely at her.

"It's going to be amazing," the lie just flows out of my mouth. "I never thanked you, Lina." I turn to her, the only truthful thing I'm willing to say today. "For everything that you've done for me at Sacre Coeur. I don't think I would have been here without you." I squeeze her hand.

Her eyes tear up again, and she can't help herself from sniffling, throwing her entire body toward me and wrapping her arms around me in a big hug.

"Oh, Sisi. You know how much I love you. You'll always be my sister. Never forget that," she whispers.

"Thank you. You and Claudia were the only two people keeping me sane there," I admit, returning her hug.

She may not know the extent of what happened to me at Sacre Coeur, but she's been my only source of comfort during those cold years. For that, there are no words that could do justice to how much I am thankful to her.

"You too Sisi. You were always the brave one, and you gave us a little courage each time." She smiles.

I wish I had that courage now, because even though my feet carry me toward Raf, my heart is already dead and buried.

The entire wedding entourage heads to the church, and Marcello and I are the last to arrive, prepared to walk arm in arm toward the altar.

"I'm proud of you, Sisi," Marcello tells me, kissing my cheeks right before making our entrance. It's the first time he's touched me for more than a second, and I soak in the contact. "But don't forget that you will always have a home with us," he continues and I nod, tears burning behind my eyes.

Following the musical cue, we walk slowly inside.

Raf is waiting for me at the altar, looking dashing in his black tux, his blond hair combed back, emphasizing his baby-blue eyes.

Ah, how I wish I could have loved him first. It would have saved me a world of heartache.

But even as those thoughts intrude in my mind, I know them to be wrong. Because although I am aware of my own heartbreak, I also know that there's only one man I couldeverlove. One man who seems to have been made just for me.

But it wasn't meant to be.

Maybe we were the right people at the wrong time. Or maybe he was just right for me, and I was wrong for him.

My feet feel heavy as I put one foot in front of the other, the distance shrinking by the second.

And suddenly I'm by Raf's side, the priest starting the ceremony, everyone looking extremely happy as they cheer us on from the sidelines.

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