Page 107 of Between Wrath and Mercy

“They knew about the betrothal and suspected I had something to do with it.” I felt his body go stiff, and he cocked his head to look at me, despite the darkness of the room.

“How?”

“I assume he has spies, too. He suspected Nythyr may have already joined with Declan because of it.”

“I was afraid of that.”

“You were afraid of that? You knew they might ally with Folterra? Then why would you call off the engagement, Rain?” It was one thing to cost him an alliance, but this? To gain another enemy? My voice rose, and I sat up. Climbing out of bed, I walked to the fire and put another log on, allowing the room to brighten so I could see him. It wouldn’t help with how hot it was, but, nevertheless.

“Did you just ask me why I called off the betrothal?” His voice was quiet, laced with frustration. He sat up in the bed, shirtless and disheveled, while I stood at the foot of it, arms crossed and staring at him.

“Yes! If you knew scorning her would lead to another ally for Folterra, why would you do something so stupid, especially with what's about to happen at the Cascade? I thought you’d lose an alliance, and that was bad enough. But for them to ally against you? To sway Nythyr over to Declan?

“Keeva is not a woman scorned, Emmeline.” He sounded dismissive, as if I had no idea what I was talking about. “She had no illusions of love between us; we were a means to an end. I was her mother’s opportunity to sink her claws into Vesta, and she was my guarantee of the Crown and the ruse of an alliance. Nythyr opened their pass while my engagement was still intact. Queen Nereza made her intentions clear; the union never mattered. The only thing that has changed is they will be more open with their duplicity.”

“I still don’t understand why you’d do it now and not after Elora was safely back. Surely, Nythyr wouldn’t join an active cause against you if you were still betrothed. Why do it now?” I raised my voice, frustrated he’d take risks that endangered our mission to get Elora back.

“Highclere, what the hell do you think I was doing in Ardian?” I watched as his hands gripped his thighs where he sat cross-legged on the bed. I took a moment to think, drawing back to what my father had said to me about the reason for his visit.

“Something to do with the Myriad, I don’t know!”

“My gods damn task for Keeva.” I felt my heart start to pound in my chest, the animal in my stomach iced over in a cold panic. He’d been so close to performing the ritual. He gave me a small smile, one without any warmth. “Yes, Emmeline. I was in Ardian to get my task and was supposed to return to the capital to perform the ritual immediately afterward.And I never even went to the temple.”

“Why didn’t you?” My voice shook because I already knew the answer.

“YOU.” His voice rang out, with a rumble in the ground to underlie his anger. “Because you fell back into my life like a gods damn forest fire. I made a choice, and it sent a clear message the day I left Ardian without my task, and I’ve been sending clear messages every day since with you by my side. I knew my engagement was over the moment I left with you. Keeva knew the moment I left Ardian. What I did today was merely a formality.”

“Why would you do that for me? You’re risking a war, Rain! FolterraandNythyr?”

“There will always beanother fucking war. You already know why I did it. If you thought for a second I’d have told you no, you wouldn’t have come to ask me for help.”

I stood there, crestfallen. He made a decision to help me, which sacrificed the stability of Vesta, risked his ascension as king, risked a war, and completely changed the trajectory his life had been on. I still had no idea what would happen between us, if he planned to let Lavenia take the Crown to be with me, or what his intentions were, but I knew now just what he’d risked and turned away from by choosing to help me. His mouth was set in a tight line, and he narrowed his eyes at me.

“Oh, don’t give me that look. Do you think I only did it for you? I knew what would happen when I made my choice. I chose myself by choosing you. And I’m going to keep doing it. I’m going to keep choosing you.” He shook his head before he lifted his hands, palms out in offering. “I love you, Emmeline. I have loved you from the start, and I will love you until we are both just a whisper on the wind. It’s your eyes I see when I close mine, your heart I want to hold, and I’d set this whole damn world on fire if you wanted to watch it burn.”

I stopped moving, stopped breathing. This was it—the freefall. The line in the sand. Loving Rainier was the most terrifying and exhilarating thing I’d ever done. Loving Rain was like breathing, like dying. Inevitable and compulsive. It was something once admitted, I’d never come back from.

“How? We—the Crown.” I didn’t know what I was asking, but the words tumbled out of my mouth. And yet, he understood.

“My father is dying, and I have to marry. Come on, Em, catch up.” His serious expression changed to a rueful smile. My heart was racing, and my stomach was churning. He couldn’t possibly mean what I thought he did. It was insane.

“You can’t be serious. The Myriad won’t allow it. Your mother won’t allow it.” He pulled himself out of bed, wearing only the undershorts from earlier, and opened his nightstand. I knew we were destined to be together, but I never thought like this. I never imagined, never wanted this. I only wanted him; I didn’t want a crown. I didn’t want to stop Vesta from making alliances it needed, however frail. He turned, a small box in his hands, as he walked over to me.

“Rain, I can’t. I don’t want that.”

My jaw dropped, and my heart stopped as he slammed down on both of his knees in front of me, taking one of my hands in his.

“Marry me, you beautiful, venomous fool.”

Chapter 34

“Standup!”

“No.”

“Rain, stand up. Are you insane? Faxon’s body isn’t even cold. I only came back a fortnight ago. I know you have to hurry and marry; I understand. As much as it pains me, I’ll let you go so you can be the king you’re meant to be. But we both know it can’t be me.” He was born for it, raised and educated to be a better king than his father before him, and I couldn’t stand in the way. We’d find each other in the next life. We’d always find each other. Rainier didn’t move, just stayed on the ground in front of me, those piercing, emerald-green eyes on mine.

“You haven’t even had a chance to think this through, Rain.” I watched a beautiful smile spread across his lips, nearly destroying me in the process.

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