Page 122 of Between Wrath and Mercy

“I know you said yes in the heat of the moment, but I’m not letting you take it back.” His touch somehow felt more possessive as he pushed me forward to scrub at my back.

“Who said anything about taking it back?”

“You seemed nervous a moment ago—about my divinity. I thought maybe you changed your mind.”

“No, never." I was in this for good. "Iamnervous, though. You were so bad at rifting at first, Rain. How could it be useful for me at the Cascade? I’ll end up rifting over a cliff.” I started laughing, and he chuckled.

“You never know when it could help. Besides, you’re a grown woman, not a young boy with a beautiful girl on his mind. You’ll likely be better at it than I was back then.”

“Well, it would be hard to be worse.” I stuck my tongue out at him over my shoulder, and he reached around, pinching one of my nipples. I shrieked, turning to face him as he pressed those soft, full lips to mine, and I melted. I was relaxed, feeling clean and safe, sinking into the warm embrace of the man I'd always loved, surrounded by the soft floral scents I'd always loved. I broke from the kiss when a realization came over me.

“Is Nana here?” Either Rain ordered soap especially for me, or Nana had arrived in Astana.

“She’s here, yes. She is staying with Deandra. I think it will be good for them to have each other.” I nodded in agreement. Deandra was a little older, not quite as old as Nana, and I thought their personalities would mesh well. “You’ll be surprised to know Theo came with her.”

“What, why?”

“He requested to join the guard.”

“And you told him no and sent him back home to Lydia, correct?” Theo was only seventeen years old. I loved him almost as much as I loved my daughter. To have him join the guard? Terrifying.

“Of course, I didn’t do that. He’s a good kid. I guess his mother is moving to Mira, and he said he didn’t have anything left in Brambleton. Quite frankly, he seemed a little lost. Besides, won’t it be good for Elora to have a friend here?”

“Alright, you have a point. I’m surprised Lydia finally left. Since John died, she’d brought up going to live with her sister a few times, but always stayed. I never thought she’d leave Brambleton. Still, you keep that boy safe. I don’t like it.”

“Only because you said so.”

Rain grinned at me, and I glared before leaning in for another kiss. I was getting greedy with them. I wondered how long this would last. Would I be craving him forever? Though I was tired and injured, my head aching, I pulled myself into his lap, wanting to be closer to him. He adjusted me, so he almost cradled me before grabbing one of my feet in his hand, pulling it out of the water.

“These giant things need washing.” He grinned down at me as I swatted him on the chest before I snuggled into him. He held me there for a while before he picked me up and put me on the bench, kneeling in front of me and gently washing my lower half. He was careful on my legs, and I was pleased I felt no pain at his touch. He moved upwards, and I inhaled a breath. It was still so new to me for Rain to see me naked, and I couldn’t help my nervousness, sliding my arms around my stomach. He tracked the movement, and I watched his brow furrow, but he said nothing before handing me the washcloth.

“I’ll let you get the rest. You feel uncomfortable, and I need to wash as well.” Rain pushed up and kissed me once more, and I was torn between explaining myself and just letting him go about his business. He pulled away and grabbed another washcloth, quickly cleaning himself while I used my own, awkwardly sitting naked on the bench at the back of the bathtub, before lowering myself back under the water.

“I’m not used to being naked around anyone.” I felt like I should explain that it wasn’t him making me uncomfortable. He eyed me cautiously as he washed his chest, waiting for me to continue. “I never undressed in front of him.”

“Never?”

“No. Even before Elora was born, I avoided it.”

“What was your reason? Is he why you cover up in front of me?” He frowned as he finished washing then sat down next to me.

“Well, I told you I haven't done anything sexual since before she was born. I never trusted him to take the tonic. After Elora, I was afraid of having another like her, not to mention I almost died giving birth to her. There were a lot of reasons. Not wanting to do those things with him was the main one. As for why I cover myself? I don’t know. Maybe it’s because you originally fell for a different version of me.” His gaze narrowed, and I gave him an apologetic smile. “A version that didn’t jiggle or have stretch marks.” He finished washing and slid down in the water next to me.

“The parts of you that jiggle are some of my favorite parts, though.” He slid a hand down my side and under my ass, cupping me as he pulled me back into his lap. “You’ve seen my body, all of my scars, and I don’t believe you love me any less because of them. Do you?”

“No, of course not.”

"Your stretch marks are scars, proof you grew a life and nourished it. I wish I was there to see it. To see you swell with a baby and coo over an infant.” His smile was gentle, almost dreamy. “Preferably my own babe, not Faxon’s. But it would have been beautiful to see, all the same.” He chuckled, but I felt an ache at his words. I imagined his hands sliding over my stomach, round with pregnancy. I felt a sleepy smile grow on my face to match his before my eyes snapped open.

“An heir.” I nearly shouted the words.

“What?” He was just as startled as I was.

“I . . . You can’t marry me.”

“Not this again.” He shook his head and pulled me tight against him.

“No, I’m serious. Elora almost killed me. I can’t give you an heir.”

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