Page 19 of Between Wrath and Mercy

“I’ve always known there were things worth fighting for, Rainier.” My voice dripped with that honeyed poison. “Did it ever occur to you that maybe I didn’t want to fight for someone who wouldn’t fight for me?”

His mouth snapped shut, and his jaw tensed, but Rainier didn’t say a word. His expression had shifted into what I assumed was a mirror of my own face. I could almost feel heat radiating off him. He finally took a step back, rubbing his hand over his mouth and chin in frustration.

My win.

I stood there for a moment, staring at him, as he averted his eyes. I took a few steps toward the closet, the last place we needed to search before I could leave the room, the movement helping me achieve some necessary space between us. I was not ready to have conversations about that day, about Lucia, about anything with him. I doubted I ever would be. I was also embarrassed I’d told him just how much his words had affected me, given I still clearly remembered after all these years. I took a sharp breath; this would not do. This animosity couldn’t continue if he was going to help me. He didn’t have to be here. I needed to maintain the delicate balance of friendship with him. After this was all said and done, I could go back to hating him from far away. But until I had Elora back, I needed him. I needed his cooperation and advice. His presence wasn’t all bad, and he’d even helped me stay calm today. Once with Allegro and just now with the necklace. I took a deep breath before I spoke.

“There are other ways to make me angry, you know.” I said it while facing the closet, but my tone was softer. I was offering an olive branch. I didn’t think he was being truly malicious, only attempting to pull me out of the spiral he was about to witness. He didn’t reply while I searched, and, after I turned from the empty closet, I found him silently leaning near the door. Our eyes met for just a moment before he pushed off the wall, walking toward me slowly.

I couldn’t help it as I flinched when he roughly cupped his hand to my face, and he paused, guilt and anger mixing in his gaze, when he noticed my reaction.

“Should we talk about how you let those bastards hurt you instead?” At this, he tilted my head to study the bruises on my neck which were hopefully fading, his eyes finally landing on the cut at my temple. “I’m disappointed, Em. I thought I taught you better than that.”

What happened when the man tackled me played out in my mind. The tackle and the struggle. The man on top of me, pushing me into the ground. My pants getting pulled down, the cold, autumn air on my body juxtaposed with the warm blood pouring out of his neck, all over my face and chest. I shuddered, trying to shake the thought. I was fine, they were dead. Some emotion, anger if I had to guess, crossed Rainier’s features, and I almost swore he saw my every thought. His body tensed even while I felt his hand on my chin relax.

“Did they fucking touch you?” I knew he wasn’t talking about the bruises.

“No.” I looked down, not wanting to be caught in the intensity of those eyes, the gold flecking his irises resembling embers from a flame. “I killed them before…” I let my voice trail off as he tilted my chin gently to look up at him, his eyebrows raised and together, true concern washing across his face.

“But they tried?” His voice changed. Still quiet and precise, but gentle at the same time. He was less intense, his features softening with the shift in his demeanor. I nodded, and he let out a sharp exhale. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, and I sensed he was trying to calm himself.

I was surprised when he folded me into his arms, pulling me tight against him. He had his hand pressed against the back of my head, pulling it into his chest. I couldn’t help inhaling his scent. He smelled of petrichor, earth and ozone, fresh and familiar. It was comforting and heartrending at the same time. How many times had I dreamed of him holding me like this? I allowed myself a moment of weakness, a moment to think. I knew Rainier had been trying to distract me from a meltdown before, but in his arms felt like a good place to be when I expressed the fear I’d been repressing.

“What if they—do you think they’ve hurt Elora?” I hadn’t voiced what had been in the back of my head since I found out she was gone. Those men were trying to hurt me, and I wasn’t even who they wanted. He pulled me tighter to him, his thumb grazing my scalp where his hand rested on my head.

“I don’t know, but I doubt it. Someone has likely paid a high price for her. They’ll want her in one piece.” I felt my lower lip quiver, and I hoped he was right. His chin hovered just above my head, and his fingertips danced over my temple where my skin had split. “This will never happen again. Ever.” I watched his arm as his fingertips traced across the bruises, noticing a small circular scar on the inside of his wrist. I stopped breathing as I pulled away and gazed up at him, something in his eyes I couldn’t quite place. “You and your daughter are under my protection from this point forward. You should have been this whole time.”

He gently traced his fingers down my neck to the hair that crossed over my shoulder, and he tucked it back, keeping eye contact with me the entire time. My heart was pounding in my chest as he touched me. I took a small breath, not sure what to say. Would he keep us under his protection when we eventually went back to Ravemont? I watched as Rainier’s eyes dipped to my lips, and I locked my eyes shut, wishing I hadn’t seen. There was no point in denying the attraction was still there. But it had always been more than just attraction for me. It was why I knew this was dangerous. Everything about being around him was dangerous for my heart, but what choice did I have? I had to choose between two types of destruction, and, even then, I might still get both. Destroyed by my daughter being lost to me forever or ruined by the man who had done nothing but set my life aflame. There was no question in the matter, no price too high to get her back. I’d steel my heart against everything and work through it. Work through the guilt of being with him and being around him, being alive with him while my sister rested in a grave I’d never visited. I was drawn from my thoughts when we heard shouting and the sound of someone running up the stairs. I grabbed my dagger as Rainier’s hand left my neck to rest on the hilt of his sword. I closed my eyes and reached out. The little frantic heartbeat across the hall was drowned out by two others moving up the stairs.

“Two,” I spoke softly, opening my eyes to find his peering into mine. He nodded and turned, walking to a position which put him between me and the door.

It slammed inward a moment later.

Chapter 8

Dewaltmarchedintotheroom as Lavenia skidded to a halt in the hallway.

“Are you two about to kill each other?” Lavenia gaped at us from behind Dewalt, confusion and surprisingly authentic concern crossing her face.

“No! We thought—” I started to explain as I put my dagger away.

“Don’t stop on our account,” chuckled Dewalt. His dark brown eyes crinkled at the corners.

“What are you doing here, Dewalt? Why didn’t you send an impulse?” Rainier cut in sharply. He clearly was not in the mood for his friend’s line of teasing.

“Yeah, why did you bust the door open?” He scared the hell out of me.

“A ship left yesterday with Elora on it.” His face was grim, brows knotted. My stomach dropped.

You knew this was probably what happened. It’s not much worse than we already thought. We will get her back. It will be alright. Inhale. Exhale. Steel your heart.

“How do you know?” I demanded, desperate for more information.

“I paid a libertine,” he shrugged. “She wouldn’t leave me alone while I was waiting.” He kicked up a grin then, and the ghost of a swaggering teenage Dewalt appeared before me. “So, I paid her to leave, but not before asking if she’d seen a girl.”

“She definitely saw Elora?” How many girls could be getting smuggled out of Mira? It was likely if there was a girl there, it was my daughter, but I still asked the question.

“No.Shedidn’t. Her client from this morning did, though. Said he paid her generously, and she asked him why. I guess he’s a deckhand for a different ship, but he helped smuggle them out on another ship his captain owns. It left this time yesterday.”

---