Page 39 of Between Wrath and Mercy

“I’m alright, Mama, I’ve never been afraid of the dark.”

Then she fell.

Chapter 14

Ablastofcoldair hit me, and I gasped, a scream stopping in my throat. When I realized it was just another nightmare, sobs of relief tore through my body. Elora wasn’t safe by any means, but what I’d seen wasn’t real.

“Em, you’re alright. Hey, it’s me.” There was a warm hand on my ankle. I tried to respond, but the best I could get out was a small moan as the sobs still tore through me. The hand left my skin, and I heard soft voices coming from the other tent. A short second later, I felt the cold air again when the flaps of my tent opened, and Rainier crawled in, smelling of smoke.

“I’m sorry.” My voice came out as a moan I almost didn’t recognize.

“Don’t apologize. It was Lavenia’s turn to stand watch anyway. You just woke her up a little early.” He sat on the other side of the tent, cross-legged with his head ducked down, too tall to sit up all the way. I practiced my breathing, in through my nose and out through my mouth. Slowly.

“You don’t have to stay, I’m sorry. I know sitting like that isn’t comfortable.” I sat up, rubbing my hands over my eyes and pulling my hair off my neck. I’d grown sweaty, and my hair was sticking. The light was dim in the tent, but given our proximity to the fire, I was able to see Rainier’s eyes on me.

“I’m comfortable enough. Do you want to talk about it?”

“I—Not yet.” I was afraid if I told him about the nightmare, I’d start crying again, and I’d only just stopped.

“Would you like me to talk about something else? A distraction, perhaps?” He twisted his body, stretching his legs out and leaning back on his elbows.

“That sounds nice.” I laid back down, turning onto my side and looking up at him.

“Hmm, what would you like me to talk about? Family or friends? Past or future?” His tone was playful, and I was happy to participate, to push the nightmare out of my mind. I tilted my head back and closed my eyes, debating on what to ask him and finally settling on something I’d been wondering about.

“Family, but present. I’ve heard it’s been a while since you’ve seen your mother?” I was curious. I’d always looked up to Queen Shivani. She was centuries younger than the king, a third wife for a man who had no heirs. She came from Olistos, and little was known about her before she became queen other than her status as the last siphon, able to take from the divinity of those she touched and use their own abilities against them. I had been eager to know her when Lucia had been set to become her daughter-in-law.

Rainier let out a sigh clearly annoyed.

“Dewalt doesn’t shut up, does he? She doesn’t think I’m serious about being king.”

“And are you?” I countered, already knowing the truth. I just wanted to hear him explain. He shot an annoyed look at me, and I smiled.

“Of course, I am. My entire life I have been serious about it, you know that. I have wanted so much more for Vesta than my father has been willing to give.” He eased further back onto the ground, hands under his head.

“So, why does she doubt it?” Rainier had always dreamt of change for Vesta, righting his father’s wrongs.

“Because I refuse to be used as a political pawn and make the alliances her and my father want.” He snapped.

“They want you to wed.” It seemed as if this was the answer to my questions about his performing the ritual. It wasn’t because the queen hadn’t been able to find a conduit worthy of him, but because he didn’t want to be used.

“Yes. They wanted me to bring power to Vesta and intimidate Nythyr and Folterra with your sister. Political scheming, and we know how that turned out. I promised myself I wouldn’t . . .” His voice was dark and biting as he trailed off and shook his head, clearing his thoughts. “Since your sister died, I told myself I would only ever bond and wed for love. Nothing less.”

I supposed he hadn’t found love. I didn’t know how to feel about that.

“So, you avoid them?” I felt a small tinge of jealousy. If I had the option to leave and tell my parents no, I wouldn’t be married to Faxon. But then I wouldn’t have Elora, either.

“She claims I’m avoiding my duty.” He gave a dark laugh. “My duty is what has kept me from doing many things I’ve wanted all these years. But, considering the way my father has supposedly been ailing, maybe she’s right. If he dies and I have not drank from the font, the crown will go to Lavenia.”

I didn’t know that. It had been centuries of King Soren’s rule, so the ascension process was foreign to me. “And what would be the problem then?” Lavenia was strong and smart and a gifted conduit.

“The problem would be that she does not want it and has not prepared as vigorously as I have. It’s my duty to the Crown and to Lavenia to ensure it does not pass to her. Besides, do you think Vesta could survive with Dewalt as king?” I laughed as he sighed, rolling on his side to face me. It brought me back to all the times we would lay in the meadow, talking about our dreams and fears. By the beginning of that last summer, those talks would often end in soft kisses and whispers of a future which would never exist. I found myself smiling at him, and I was rewarded with the crooked one I still loved. “Enough talk about the insufferable monarchy, it’s your turn.”

“Past or future? Friend or family?” I replied, echoing his words from before.

“Tell me about her. Your daughter.” He propped his head up on one arm, still laying on his side.

“I don’t know where to start,” I fingered her necklace. “Her name is Elora Mae…Calvert.” I hesitated with her last name. I had hated not being able to give her mine. While Faxon had let me keep my own surname, a boon after my punishment, he had not allowed me to give it to Elora.

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