Page 40 of Between Wrath and Mercy

“I always thought Faxon had a more dignified family name than he deserved.” He chuckled. “Beautiful name, though. Wasn’t that Lucia’s middle name?” I was surprised he remembered.

“Yes, Lucia Mae. And she takes after her aunt not just in name. She looks just like her.” I thought of the happier dream from weeks ago, the one which had the three of us weaving daisy chains. “She has the same white hair, but it’s curly. She never burns like we used to, one of the only things she inherited from Faxon, thankfully. Eyes like mine. She’s just as tall as me.” I was smiling thinking about her as Rainier snorted.

“That isn’t much of an accomplishment, Highclere.” I kicked him in the shin, and he laughed.

“She loves to read. She’s a dreamer. It’s been hard all these years, keeping her locked away. I know she wants adventure, excitement. A knight in shining armor. Even though I told her the majority of knights are older and uglier in real life than in the stories.” He chuckled.

“She sounds lovely. How old is she? When I first saw you, I had assumed she was a small child for some reason, but I doubt a small child would be capable of biting someone’s ear off.” There was definitely some amusement in his voice at the thought.

“She’s fifteen.” I sighed, worried for Elora. “I’m still trying to process that. I wouldn’t think she had it in her.” Only because I failed at training her.

“She’s yours, Em, of course she has it in her.” He made it sound like a compliment.

“I hope they’re not punishing her for it.” My thoughts turned dark. “In my nightmare, the shadows got her, the vipers. And I couldn’t do anything.” I took a breath, trying to control my voice.

“It wasn’t real.” His voice was soft.

“I know. And they’d have killed her by now if that’s what they wanted.” Hoping for Folterra to have a plan for my daughter disgusted me, but the alternative was worse.

“Does the boy who warned you know about her divinity?”

“He knows she’s a conduit, but I don’t think she’s ever shown him.” Unless she broke my rules, which I doubted.

“Did she use her abilities that day?”

“Actually, no, Theo never mentioned it. Why wouldn’t she?” I rolled onto my back, staring at the leather above me.

“Obsidian, probably. They use chains inlaid with it.” The volcanic glass was the only known thing to subdue divinity. “They knew what they were getting into with her.” He sounded angry, remembering Faxon was the one responsible for their information.

“I didn’t tell—Elora doesn’t know about the prophecy. I was going to tell her after this trip, but I never got a chance.” I squeaked the words out, ashamed. I had done so little to prepare her like I should have.

“When we get her back, you can tell her.” Rainier’s choice of the word ‘when’ instead of ‘if’ meant a great deal more to me than he likely knew.

“Something tells me she will already know by then.” I stifled a yawn. Sleep was calling me, but I didn’t want Rainier to leave. “I hope she’ll forgive me.” I should have told her sooner. She should have known all along.

“You’d be surprised how easy you are to forgive, Emmeline.” He rolled over onto his back, his leg against mine, the heat reassuring. I knew for a while he’d forgiven me, at least for some things, or else he wouldn’t be here. But hearing it was nice, all the same.

“I don’t think she will agree with you.” I laughed. “Will—” My smile disappeared, sobering over what I needed to discuss with him. “I don’t want the Myriad to do to her what they did to Lucia. But I’m sure they’ll have to know, after all of this?” I rolled over to take him in as he nodded slowly, a guarded expression on his face.

“We will figure it out, Em. If you don’t want her tested, if she doesn’t want to be tested, she won’t be.”

“Is that even up to you?”

“It is now.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, it’s important to you, and I will not let something happen that you don’t want to happen.”

“But your father—” He cut me off, shaking his head, a bemused half-smile present on his face.

“I don’t think you understand. Things have changed in the last sixteen years. My father is not nearly as in control as he once was. I have more sway and respect than he ever did. I don’t have to petition him for soldiers; we will have them either way. I am doing it this way to maintain that sway and respect.”

I nodded slowly. The information made me feel better, knowing he’d pull through for me no matter what. I wanted to know more though. How had he gained this influence? And then I looked at him, truly looked at him. I already knew the answer. He gained his influence by being the Rainier I’d always known. Patient, kind, poised. Just and fair, only quick to anger in certain circumstances. He’d earned the influence.

“I’m in a very different position than I was sixteen years ago.” His gaze was intense as he watched me. I nodded and rolled onto my back, getting pulled into thinking through all the decisions I’d made which led me here. Maybe I should have trusted him sooner or at least seen him to find out how much more sway he had, to see if he could have offered his protection sooner, his promise to keep the Myriad away. Rainier was still on his side, watching me when I let out a yawn, and he sat up. “Before I go back to my tent, I want you to know I’ve thought about that moment pretty regularly over the years. When I rifted you. I was scared, and it was stupid. I’m sorry.” He was staring down at his hands, his voice quiet but steady.

“I forgive you.” I’d been slowly coming to the conclusion that I forgave him, at least for that, with time on my side to realize he acted out of fear. But hearing the story of what happened from the three of them today made something shift into place. It had been the unknown of her death which haunted me. I was so angry for so long because I thought he’d pulled me away when my sister needed me most, when I could have done something. But I was no match for King Dryul, and my healing abilities would only have prolonged her suffering—if they’d have done anything at all. He may have taken my chance to say goodbye when he rifted me, but was it so unforgivable when he thought he was protecting me from a fate like hers? My forgiveness wouldn’t change the nightmares I still had or anything else that happened that night, but it was something I could give him in exchange for the hope he’d given me.

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