Page 45 of Between Wrath and Mercy

“Take her bandage off, Rainier.” Lavenia began digging through her pack as Rainier gently pulled at the wrapping on my neck, and I found something on the ground rather interesting as his fingers brushed my skin.

“The bruises on your face are almost gone.” I’d completely forgotten about the punch to my temple. After peeling off the bandage, he lightly traced the marks on my jaw. “One injury almost gone, and then you get another. That’s familiar.” He quietly chuckled, and I felt my lips tug upwards. I had always been rather accident prone.

“Move.” Lavenia shoved her hip into her brother, pushing him away from me. She took a wet cloth and pushed it against the wound. I hissed as it burned, my skin feeling like it was bubbling. “Quit whining, it will kill any infection. I think you probably needed a couple stitches, but I didn’t want to do it out here in the field. You need to take it easy until it’s healed more or I’m going to have to stitch you and risk infection.”

“Yes, ma’am,” I made eye contact with Rainier as I said it, and he pushed his hand to his mouth in a fist so Lavenia wouldn’t see his smile. “Sorry, ma’am.” Lavenia leveled a glare at me that would have sent half of these soldiers running, tail between their legs.

“You’re older than me. And you definitely look like it.” Lavenia lifted a brow as I snorted, and Rainier let out a loud peal of laughter. “I mean it, Rainier, I don’t want to do stitches until we make camp.” She gave me a sly smile, glad I laughed at her insult.

“Yes, ma’am.” Rainier retorted and dodged as Lavenia reached out to smack him.

He darted to me, staying out of his sister’s reach, and placed me on his horse as if I weighed nothing. I settled in, and Rainier was behind me a moment later, tenderly wrapping an arm around my waist and pulling me against his chest.

“You should sleep. You’re much more docile when unconscious.” He chuckled, his breath warm on my ear. I took in his intoxicating smell and obeyed.

Chapter 16

Thelastlegoftravel that day passed by much like the rest, with me asleep. When the horse finally slowed to a stop, I opened my eyes, disturbed by the silence around me. I reached down and grabbed Rainier’s arm.

“Where are we?” My panic was eased by the fact I knew Rainier was still with me. I carefully looked forward, trying not to disturb my neck too much. A large, grassy area stretched before us, full of wildflowers. Everything was a shade of blue underneath the tiniest sliver of the moon, but I knew in the light we’d be surrounded in color, a beautiful sight in the midst of the forest. Crickets played their melodies, and the air was still. I imagined there were all manner of critters who frolicked here during the day and called this place home. It was beautiful even in the dark. Almost more beautiful in the dark, for the imagination I used to picture it during the day.

“I wasn’t quite ready to put you down, and I wanted to let them set up camp before I woke you, so I took us exploring and stumbled upon this.” His voice was quiet, reflecting our surroundings.

“It’s like the meadow.” I sighed. Though the meadow from our childhood had no trees as far as the eye could see, it had the same calm as this place.

“I knew you’d say that.” He paused as he lowered his head down, speaking quietly, a whisper in my ear. “I thought you were going to die today. I’m glad you didn’t.” Something stirred within me, and I tried to ignore it.

“Me too.” I smiled; It was a silly thing to say.

“You just came back to me, and we’ve barely had a chance to talk. You can’t die yet.” I froze. I wasn’t sure how I felt about what he’d said. I hadn’t come back tohim, I’d come to him for help. I wasn’t sure if I should make the distinction out loud to him, so I chose not to. Part of me wasn’t sure I wanted to make the distinction. Were the two options much different? I’d found him either way.

“I’ll try not to.” My stomach growled loudly, as if to make it clear I might die if I didn’t eat soon. Rainier huffed a laugh as he turned us around, I assumed to make way back to camp.

“You mentioned you work with a healer in Brambleton. Is there anything else you’ve been doing?”

“Yes, I’ve been working with Mairin for a long time. Hmm, what else? I maintain our garden,” I could practically hear Rainier’s eyebrow raise behind me. “I know, you have no idea how long it took me to successfully grow something.” He had seen the mess of a garden my mother had forced on Lucia and me. She’d pushed flowers and shrubbery on us, trying to find us a hobby befitting a lady, but what had resulted was an abomination of weeds and dead plants the servants had to take over. Green beans and tomatoes, potatoes and strawberries—those were easier for me. “I’ve taught Elora all her lessons over the years. And lately I’ve tried to help her train.” Though my divinity barely registered compared to hers, I did the best I could to help teach her.

“That’s it?” Rainier sounded surprised, and it twisted something in my gut.

“Yes, that’s it.” The question bothered me. “I know it doesn’t compare to the life of a crown prince.” I began hearing the sounds of camp and could see a fire I wanted to hold my hands over.

“Weren’t you bored?” The way he asked it didn’t come across as rude, more confused than anything. “What about Faxon? What did he do?” The tone he reserved for Faxon was more openly hostile.

“Faxon did different things over the years. Most recently, he wanted to start harvesting grains.” My stomach clenched, remembering the “special order” he’d made which had all been a ruse to get our daughter to Mira. I felt my anger rise, rage boiling up my throat. I didn’t have any qualms with killing the man I’d shared the last sixteen years of my life with, and I was only partially bothered that I didn’t care. “It hasn’t been the most exciting life, but it’s been safe.” Until now. Until I failed because I put trust in someone I thought would never betray me. Betray us.

“I bet you’re a wonderful mother.” Wonderful mother, save for the fact I let my daughter get taken. I took a shuddering breath, wanting to argue with him, but chose to stay silent instead. “Elora withstanding, do you ever feel like you made a mistake?” His mouth was beside my ear again, and the shiver that went down my spine mingled with the rage brewing from my thoughts of Faxon and spun, like fibers on a wheel, to turn into an angry, dark thread. I didn’t think before I tugged on it.

“I accept the decisions I’ve made. Do you?” I bit back at him, my voice flaring in frustration I wouldn’t have known surprised him if he hadn’t jolted away from me. My eyes stayed on the fire growing larger at our approach, feeling my own fire rising in me.

“Emmeline—” He stopped himself, stiffening as I pulled his arm off me. We were breaking through into the camp, and I didn’t want to be on this horse with him a second longer.

“I meant every word I said to the onaán, Rainier.” Remembering our earlier conversation, I’d finally been able to pull what I’d said to the creature from the banks of my memory. “We will never. Asking if I think I made a mistake suggests you offered me an alternative. I begged you, Rain.” I shook my head, wincing at the pain in my neck. “The only mistake I made was you. Breaking the wards with you, betraying my sister in her final moments with you, all of it. I will regretthatuntil the day I die, but not the decisions I made after.Youdidn’t chooseme. It sounds an awful lot like you’re the one who feels they made a mistake, not me.”

You are poison.

“Let me down. Now.” I’d had my eyes on the fire the entire time I spat my venom at Rainier. He’d walked us straight into camp, not stopping for me to finish yelling at him from a position of solitude. Our friends were at the fire watching us, Dewalt’s mouth in a thin straight line and Lavenia wearing a look of concern. There was no way they hadn’t heard what I’d said. She made eye contact with me before her eyes roved to my neck. Rainier pulled his arm away from me, finishing the job I’d started. I clumsily slid down off the horse, the victory being that I managed not to fall.

“Take me to my tent.” My voice was hoarse as I ordered Lavenia, and I was grateful she didn’t remind me she was a princess and could have my head for such disrespect. We walked between Dewalt and Rainier, the two men maintaining eye contact. I wondered, not for the first time, if they had some secret connection, able to talk to one another without actually exchanging words. I considered the impending argument with Dewalt, but I decided I didn’t care.

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