Page 47 of Between Wrath and Mercy

“Uh huh.”

“You’re killing me.” I was exasperated and embarrassed. Mortified, even.

“You spent the night together, I figured it would have been out of your system.” She shoved the wine bottle back into my hand, and I gladly took a deep pull from it.

“Don’t act like you weren’t listening for something while you were on watch. You know as well as I do that nothing happened.” Lavenia threw her head back laughing, and I glared, but the corner of my mouth tugged up all the same.

“How’d you know I was listening?”

“Because I’d have done the same thing.” I grinned, taking another swig of wine before I passed the bottle back to her.

“You know, our mother can grant you a divorce.” I started and let my wide eyes meet hers. That wasn’t even on my mind.

“Since Faxon will no longer be alive after I see him next, I’m not sure if it’s wholly necessary.” She laughed but the smile didn’t reach her eyes.

“Well, maybe not. But you’d be free to remarry after.”

“Lavenia.”

“What? You’ll be at court for the next two years anyway. I know what he said before was atrocious, but…”

“You need to stop. Even after I get Elora back, you and I both know it would never happen. My divinity is a fraction of Lucia’s, of the other conduits who the queen has selected for him. I have achild. No matter what anyone wants, if he even did want that, it would never happen. Not to mention my choice in the matter.I do not want him. I may have forgiven him for a fraction of the things that happened, but I will never forget them. Even if I did want him, I could never. Lucia’s memory is more important, and since we are responsible for her death—”

“You still think—” I silenced her with a look.

“I swear to the gods if everyone doesn’t stop talking to me about this, I will lose my mind. I have bigger worries to think about than someone I thought I loved over a decade ago.” I passed the wine bottle to her after taking a long swig of it. I meant it. I was so sick of everything turning into a conversation about my relationship with Rainier that if it weren’t for the access to an army and spies I didn’t have, I would’ve already made a go at Folterra on my own.

“I’m sorry, you’re right.” Lavenia’s hands were up, the bottle of wine between her crossed legs. “I’ve only ever heard Rainier’s side of things, what he’s been through since you left, and even then, it’s not like he liked to talk about it. I’m just glad you’re back. I won’t say anything again.” I scowled at her. “I promise.”

“Good. Also, what makes you think I won’t win our duel? Two years of court, ha.” I shook my head. “I think I need to sleep now; I’m feeling pretty exhausted. Thank you for the food and for bringing my bag.” I knew my friend meant well, but the line of conversation had tired me. And I was sweating in the heat of the tent. Nothing could make a bad mood worse than being sweaty during it. Lavenia picked up the bottle of wine and put the chair back under the desk before she left.

I stripped off my dirty clothes; my clean shirt from before had blood on it from my neck, and my pants had green stains on them that smelled absolutely foul. I assumed it was onaán blood, and I was grateful I hadn’t smelled it before this moment. I examined my breast where the foul creature had clawed into it. Surprisingly, the scratch marks were almost gone, but small, purple bruises remained where it had squeezed with fingertips I’d imagined doing other things—softer and more pleasing things. I shook my head and blew out a breath. I needed to get my head straight. I went and grabbed the pot of water Lavenia had brought in to help clean my neck and found the cleanest part of the shirt I’d just taken off. Dipping it into the pot of water, I used it to bathe as well as I could, especially around my collarbones, where there was some dried blood. I stripped off my undergarments but kept my socks on, not risking taking them off, and stood close to the brazier. Even though I’d been sweating moments before, I was cold with no clothes on. I turned to my bag and grabbed a fresh shirt and put it on, not bothering to button it yet. The fire was warm on my back, and I enjoyed it as I pulled my braid down. I heard the tent flap open, and assumed it was Lavenia again. I glanced over my shoulder, surprisingly careful of my neck despite the circumstance, and saw Rainier standing there. He was just too tall for the tent, his figure imposing in the low firelight from the brazier.

His sleeves were rolled up and he had a faint sheen to his skin, like he’d just been doing something strenuous. I saw the muscle in his arm twitch as he clenched a fist. Turning my head forward again, I started working on my shirt, but I could still feel the heat of his gaze roam over me. I tried to maintain my composure, not allowing him to see how he affected me, but I couldn’t help but struggle with the buttons as my hands shook.

“You’re hurt.”

“My neck is fine. Get out.” His footsteps came closer to me, doing nothing like leaving as I’d just ordered. I finished buttoning my shirt, but knew it was entirely too short to be standing here like this with Rainier’s eyes on me. I froze as rough fingertips lightly grazed the back of my upper thigh, and I winced. Iwashurt. I hadn’t even realized.

“Let me help you clean it.” He spotted the pot Lavenia left and put it back over the brazier to heat it up.

“Fine, if you turn around so I can put underwear on.” He froze and spun on a heel, walking straight out of the tent. I snorted at the speed with which he fled. I must have done a good job pulling my shirt down if he didn’t realize I wore nothing under it. After I pulled fresh undergarments on, I examined the back of my leg the best I could manage. There were two scratches up the back of my thigh, both red and inflamed. Since it was the leg I’d hooked around the onaán, I figured it must have grabbed me through my pants as we fell. Thankfully, the scratches didn’t seem too deep, just irritated. When I heard his throat clear at the opening to the tent a few moments later, I couldn’t help but chuckle.

“If you did that the last time you tried to come in here, you wouldn’t have gotten an eyeful.” He didn’t say anything as he walked in, but I watched his eyes roll over me, and I felt my cheeks pink. I turned to the fire, breaking the contact, as he went to the desk and dumped an armful of supplies across it. I held my hands over the flames as he organized the items on the desk, attempting to calm my racing pulse. My efforts were in vain as he approached, crouching to examine the wounds. My stomach clenched, and I internally cursed the man as he traced gentle fingers across my skin.

“It doesn’t seem deep, but I want to clean it. Onaán are nasty.” I shuddered, not wanting to be reminded I’d been desperately kissing one.

I sat down on my pallet, keeping the bad leg tucked up, knee against my chest. Now that I knew it existed, it hurt when I touched it. Pain had a funny way of doing that sometimes. I pulled a blanket over me, hoping to maintain some sense of modesty.

“She said to just keep it in your pack.” Rainier grinned as he pulled out the salve from the pile of items on the desk. I matched the smile despite myself.

“She has a point.” I laughed, a burp coming up at the same time. “Sorry, your sister plied me with wine.” He knelt next to me, the pot of water on the ground in front of him.

“Sounds like her.” He was eye level with me, and I wasn’t sure if it was the wine or the blood loss, but I found it hard to breathe when those green eyes, mossy in the low light, met mine. Despite my anger with him, there was no denying the man was beautiful. The scar through his eyebrow gave him a bit of an intimidating look, the asymmetry drawing attention to how expressive his face was. The slightly crooked nose, a bit upturned at the tip, led my eyes down to his lips. The true crime of the onaán was not getting the exact softness right. At least not how I remembered them. The urge to verify my suspicions with my mouth nearly overtook me before I traced the rest of his face with my gaze. The stubble on his jawline accentuated the sharp angle of it; it hadn’t been so defined when I’d last seen him. Time had been kind to him.

“You’re going to need to lay on your stomach.” He broke our silent stare before he looked pointedly away, letting me situate myself. I wasn’t sure how to do that while keeping myself covered as completely as possible. I pivoted on my hip and laid down, keeping the blanket over me. Once I got comfortable, I tugged my shirt down to cover my underwear, knowing he’d likely see them anyway when he pulled the blanket down. I made a mental note that I could have insisted on Lavenia coming to help me, an acceptable request, but for whatever reason I didn’t.

I’d think about it later.

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