Page 53 of Between Wrath and Mercy

I put my good hand on top of the wounds and closed my eyes. First, I focused on the blood. Slowing it, clotting it. Then, I focused on the gouges as a whole, only trying to speed the healing process a little bit so I could focus on the other injured soldiers. I imagined the deepest part of my injury and pictured mending the blood vessels and knitting together the muscle. It wasn’t the same as when I healed other people, but I could tell it was working. It burned, and the taste of metal filled my mouth. When I opened my eyes both Dewalt and Rainier were staring at me, waiting for me to speak.

My voice came out softer than I anticipated. “I’m alright.”

Both men spoke at once.

“Are you sure, Em?”

“Don’t you think you should rest?”

I offered a humorless laugh, appreciative of their worry. “I’m fine. Will you please find Dickey? Tell him I’m—I don’t want him to be alone right now.” I would tell him I was sorry myself. Rainier studied me for a second, his eyes full of sorrow, before he nodded and grasped Dewalt’s outstretched hand to help him up.

“Send someone for me if you need me.”

I nodded, and they went to attend to the chaos surrounding us.

Examining my arm, I saw the gouges were much shallower, and the bleeding had stopped. It was still tender, but I didn’t want to waste what divinity I had when there could be soldiers much worse off than me. I finished tying a bandage on my arm as the first injured soldier stumbled over to me.

Chapter 19

Itendedtoseventeendifferent soldiers with varying degrees of injury. Among the worst was an older man with a pretty disastrous neck wound and another younger man who had been gutted. Because so many were wounded, I had to ration what I could do for everyone. The man with the neck injury had lost so much blood by the time someone dragged him to me, I dropped my other patient to focus on him. Thankfully, the young woman with a mild scalp abrasion was more than understanding. Knitting the man’s wound from the inside out had proved difficult, and he still had a large gash on his neck by the time I was done with him. I disinfected it a second time and bandaged it, sending him off with another soldier. Not long after I finished with the understanding woman’s scalp, a man with his innards spilling out was brought to me. That was particularly harrowing. I had to have someone hold him down as I shoved my alcohol-drenched hands into his stomach and traced his intestines for damage before I closed the wound. I was afraid he still might not make it; If infection set in, there would be nothing I could do. The rest of the injuries were minor—most were similar to my own.

The last soldier was the blonde warrior who called me stupid.

“Little dyrr.” She smiled at my confusion as she sat down across from me. “Deer. You ran like frightened deer to momma.” I flushed in embarrassment and a bit of frustration. I may have acted like a frightened deer, but I killed one of the beasts and rendered another one helpless. I could have done worse. At the look on my face, she chuckled.

“But then you rocked tírrúil to sleep like a baby.” She grinned. “Good job.” I smiled back.

“Thyra.” She reached out a hand, and I gave her mine, small in comparison. Everything about this woman, from her actual size to her personality, seemed large.

“Emma.”

We sat in silence as I disinfected her wound. She didn’t even flinch as I poured the alcohol over it and sat quietly as I held my hands over her. It took a lot longer than I’d have liked, my divinity exhausted and my head throbbing. I glanced up and the light of the sinking moon had a haze over it, the brightness making me wince. Between the headache and light sensitivity, I knew I was headed for a terrible day of recovery from overusing my divinity, probably my worst day yet. Over her shoulder, I saw Rainier leading Dickey into a tent, his hand on the boy’s back. I hoped he was alright; I hadn’t had a chance to check him over. My attention turned back to Thyra when she made a small sound, low in her throat.

“Peas in pod, those two. Not fair.” I murmured in agreement. It wasn’t fair, not at all. And it was my fault. My fault they were even here, my fault I didn’t run straight to him, my fault I couldn’t heal him. I cleared my throat, needing to change the subject.

“You’re from Skos?” I wasn’t sure, but based on her coloring and accent, it seemed to be a safe bet. She nodded.

“Yes, but it has been a long time since I’ve been home.” She gave me a sad smile.

“What brought you here? To Ra—To Prince Rainier?” I felt like I needed to be formal with her about Rainier, that she deeply respected him, and to address him the way I normally did might offend her. She shrugged when I asked.

“He is a good man, and I owe him my service.” Her eyes shuttered, and I chose not to pry. When her wounds were no more than deep surface cuts, I bandaged her, and she helped me pack up my supplies. When I turned to head to my tent, she stopped me.

“Thank you, little deer. I see now why he changed plans.” She patted me on the shoulder before she headed the opposite direction. I wondered briefly at what she said, but I was too tired to think much on it.

By the time I got to the tent, dawn was breaking, and it was a struggle to keep pushing my feet in the right direction. I was exhausted, and it felt like there was an icepick in my brain, digging in. Rainier had sent an order, what seemed like hours ago, for everyone to rest and plan to leave at midday. I was about to duck into my tent when someone grabbed my pack from my arm. I turned around, too weary to be annoyed.

“You’re with me.” Rainier stood there with my supplies under his arm as he reached for Lavenia’s pack. I handed it to him, grateful to not be carrying anything; it was enough work just to stay upright. I was too tired to question it, so I just followed him to the next tent over. He went through first, holding the flap open for me as I ducked in.

“Lavenia gave too much today. Dewalt is helping share the load.” I didn’t know what that meant, but I was too drained to ask. My eyes were on the ground as I kicked off my boots and moved toward the pallet. I swayed, and even though I wasn’t going to fall, I was grateful for Rainier’s steadying hand under my elbow. “Em, are you alright?” Though he’d had just as little sleep as I did, he wasn’t nearly as exhausted. Perhaps it was the exhilaration of battle or the fact I’d used my divinity to the point of pain, but he barely seemed affected.

“Just exhausted.” It was an effort to speak. “And the headache is pretty bad.” He kept his hand under my arm as I lowered myself down to the pallet.

“You gave too much, too.” His lips turned down into a frown.

“I didn’t give enough.” I bit out as I stared down at my bloody hands, thinking of the boy who died beneath them.

Rainier’s eyes were drawn down as well, and, as I peered up at him through forming tears, I could see the understanding flash across his face.

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