Page 93 of Between Wrath and Mercy

“Um, well, I like her a lot.” Confusion flooded me before I realized what she was saying, and I snapped at her.

“Gods damn, not about that.” I saw her face though, and I softened, feeling like an ass. “I’m sorry, that was shit of me. I do want to hear about it; please tell me. Gods, I’m sorry.” Mairin gave me a small smile, so out of place on her normal obnoxiously grinning face.

“There’s not much to tell. I enjoy her company a lot. And Dewalt’s too, to my surprise. They’re…easy. Uncomplicated.” I nodded, knowing she spoke true. Dewalt and Lavenia seemed to have an uncanny way of finding out what worked for them and doing it, not worrying about anything else. They’d always been that way. It didn’t matter how it worked, just that it worked for them, and they were happy. “You should try being uncomplicated. It’s nice.” She smiled, and I laughed.

“About that. What exactly do you know about twin flames? I—I’m not sure what it means. Are you certain about us?” She tilted her head to the side, watching me with eyes a lighter shade of green than Rainier’s, and the thought of him sent a small ache through me.

“I should have told you that first day, but I didn’t know if you wanted to hear it. I was trying to gauge how you’d react, if you’d even be open to the idea. It’s hard to explain, but I can try.” She studied me, and I nodded. “Everyone has their own unique aura which exists on a spectrum of color and light, no two exactly alike. When you were dueling with him, your auras were mingling and expanding, and all I could see was blazing gold behind you. I’ve never seen two souls exist on the same exact spectrum until that day with the two of you. And when I say never, I mean never. Ever since I met him, whenever I see one of you two, there’s this . . . tug, in my mind. If I see him, I picture you, and the opposite holds true. That’s never happened before.” I took a deep breath as she continued. “I’m sure you’ve heard the legends, and not a single one is exactly right. Aonara and Ciarden were twin flames, drawn to each other. They were mirrors—their flaws and strengths perfect counterparts.”

“Then why did they kill each other?”

Mairin snorted. “Many believe that’s part of the story the legends get wrong. They didn’t kill each other; they chose tocontaineach other, for lack of a better word. Or one was killed, and the other could not live without them. Some say twin flames are reincarnations of the gods, but I don’t buy it. Especially after seeing how clumsy you are.” She grinned, and I smiled back in agreement. Believing we were reincarnations of the gods was not going to happen. “Either way, your soulsareconnected,have beenconnected, andwill beconnected. What you choose to do with that,” she shrugged, “it’s certainly something of consequence.”

“Lady Emmeline, you need to come outside the cave.” It took me a moment to place the voice. The boy must have been right on the other side of the tent. I wondered if he heard our conversation.

“Just a moment, Dickey!” I called back, wanting to finish my conversation with Mairin.

“Prince Rainier bade me bring you immediately, my lady.” I frowned at Mairin as I grabbed my cloak off of my pack and put it on. A moment later, I was outside the tent as Dickey led me to the front of the cave.

“Is someone hurt, Dickey? What happened?” I was worried, wondering what the cause for Dickey’s stress could be. He sounded anxious.

“Yes, someone is hurt, but—” He broke off as we neared the edge of the cave, and I saw a small group standing just outside. Faces I recognized turned toward me, and I found Rainier’s immediately. He seemed angry and pained, and I stopped short as I noticed something on the ground at his feet. Something moaning in pain. I took a few more steps, confused why no one was helping the person on the ground.

“Is he alright? What happened?” I looked down at the man on the ground, his face swollen beyond comprehension. I knelt beside him, about to heal his face, when I pulled my hands back like I’d been burned.

It was Faxon.

WhenIrealizedwhothe man was, I lost control of my body and ran. I found myself in Rainier’s tent, searching for water, something to keep my stomach at bay. I hadn’t yet eaten, and I could feel the urge to vomit. As I ran, I heard Mairin yell out to me, but Rainier advised her to give me a moment. I silently thanked him as I put his canteen to my lips.

“My lady?” I was surprised to hear Thyra’s voice, and I opened the flap more out of confusion than anything.

“The prince decided I should tell you the facts because I do not know either you or your husband and will not influence you in any way.” She gestured to the pallet for me to join her, and we sat.

I was a bit confused, wishing he was here with me. From what she'd said, it seemed like this was Rainier offering me a choice. He was allowing me to decide and take Faxon’s fate into my own hands. I resented him at that moment, wishing he would make the decision for me.

“He was found wandering this morning near the outskirts of our watch perimeter. We did not find any other tracks or impressions of anyone else. It is as if he simply appeared.” She pressed a small envelope into my hand, sealed with a crest I didn’t recognize. “This was in his pocket.”

He is your problem now.

Cyran sent him back to me? Why? He had to know how I felt. Was this some kind of sick gift? Had he tired of the man as well? Knowing Cyran cared about Elora, I wondered if she knew what Faxon had done. Had the princeling sent him away to protect her?

“The moment he was discovered, we brought him to Prince Rainier as he made his rounds. He did not speak to anyone. The prince felt compelled to interrogate him with his fists until he fell to the ground. Once he fell, he moaned your name.” I sucked in a deep breath. Rain did say he would kill my husband; it would seem the promise was due for collection.

"Was he asking for me?" My stomach roiled.

“No asking, just moaning. I believe he was beaten before he was brought to us. His face was a mess, and his shirt was covered in dried blood. I don’t know if the prince made much of a difference when he hit him, to be honest. Princess Lavenia attempted to compel him, and nothing happened. Dewalt feels they may have used a mindbreaker. He has not responded to any questions since he arrived, other than to cry when asked about you.” I made a face, disgusted. Did he even know I was here? Had Cyran told him he was delivering him to me? If the man knew what was good for him, he wouldn't be asking for me. I was the last person he should want to see. As far as the mindbreaker aspect of Thyra's news, I wasn't sure I agreed with Dewalt. What were the odds Cyran even had a mindbreaker? I found it unlikely, considering most were hunted down and executed after the Great War.

“The prince bid me explain your options. Execution or imprisonment, he has left it up to you. If you choose execution, he will personally ensure the task is completed in a manner you deem appropriate.”

I studied the letter in my hands. My problem now, my problemalways. That was all Faxon had ever been—my problem. I wasn’t sure what punishment I wanted, but I knew I wanted answers. Thyra left the tent, and I had a few moments to myself. I wanted to know more before I decided, the situation different than I anticipated. Taking a deep breath, I stood up, stretching to my full height before making my way back outside. Seeking out Rainier's eyes, I was disappointed when he refused to look at me. There was a moan coming from the lump on the ground, and I couldn't bring myself to care, almost wishing Rainier would have finished him off with his fists. Honestly, after he learned about the brands last night, I was surprised he didn't. Dewalt and Lavenia shared a grim look as Mairin approached me.

“What do you want to do?” Her hand was comforting on my shoulder. I put my own over my mouth as I stared down at the thin and bloodied body of the man I’d once called my husband. He moaned and writhed on the ground as he rolled over, allowing me to see the mottled bruises on his face. I glanced over at Rainier again, and he averted his eyes. He wasn’t his normal, overbearing self, and I found it unsettling.

When I imagined seeing Faxon again, I expected him to be himself, healthy and capable. I expected to scream at him, yell at him, and then slice his throat. What I didn’t expect was this blubbering mess on the ground in front of me. The hatred for him still simmered deep in my body, but underneath, there was something surprisingly like pity. I was caught in a difficult spot, between serving the justice he deserved, satisfying the burning anger and wrath inside me, and hiding behind the pitiful familiarity and memories of the man with whom I’d shared my life. The man who must have loved us in a way because he couldn’t have faked so much with us, could he? The man who helped me tend my herb garden and could be rather funny when in a good mood or dreadfully pedantic when in a foul one, spouting off information from one of the books we bought about herb use as if I had never read it. The man who took Elora fishing, who taught her to ride a horse. When considering killing him before, I could think of nothing but the terrible things. But now, with his life in my hands and his body broken, I couldn’t help but think about the parts of him that could be good. The man who might never recover from a mindbreaker if Dewalt was correct. The man who sold his own blood. Would it be a mercy to execute him before he was driven to madness? Did he deserve mercy?

“Do you think I can undo the damage from the mindbreaker? I’d like to question him if we can.” I directed my question to Dewalt who turned to Rainier.

“You could certainly try.” Rainier finally deigned to look at me then, and I couldn’t read his facial expression. I paused for a moment, then knelt back down in front of Faxon and pressed a hand to his face. I watched the swelling go down, and his moaning quieted. I could tell most of the bruising was old, hidden under the new swelling Rainier had bestowed upon him. When I finished with his face, I pulled my hand back, rubbing my temple. The slight ache behind my eyes had turned into something more.

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