Page 133 of Between Despair and Hope

“The goddess? Was the dream that realistic or do you truly think it was her?”

“It was her; I could tell.” His shadow nodded. “I was right when I guessed she was the reason Elora came to be. She didn’t come right out and say it, but, since you stopped before—“ I blushed despite the fact that this man had been inside me a few times since that first time. “If Rhia hadn’t intervened, it was unlikely we would have had a child from it.”

“Do you feel any sort of way about that?” he asked, carefully weighing the words as he spoke them, taking a step closer to me. I didn’t know why I faced the pond, looking down into it. The moonfish were all gone. I took my other glove off, the warmth of the cavern making them unnecessary, and lifted my hand to the steady stream of water coming down from above. Frigid, I pulled my hand back quickly.

“I’m glad she intervened, if that’s what you mean. I’m glad I have a daughter, and I’m glad she’s yours.”

“I’m glad she’s mine too.”

“She offered to do it again.”

He stilled. “Do what again?”

“Intervene. She wouldn’t promise that I’d get you back, but she said she could give me a babe since I hadn’t had my courses yet.”

“And you said no?”

“How could I say yes? Not without you.” I shook my head, and he took a few more steps until he stood just behind me. “She was quite cruel about it.” I inhaled quickly, trying to avoid tears, but my voice still shook. “Said it would have been a boy. I’m sorry if I missed our only chance to have another. With the way my body barely held onto Elora…A goddess blessing might have been the only way.” I suddenly felt nervous and tried to change the subject. “Gods, it’s warm in here now.”

A deep breath and a sigh came from behind me. “I don’t need another babe from you,” he whispered, and I closed my eyes. “I can’t say it won’t be fun to try though. If you’re warm, I’ll take your cloak.”

I chuckled and turned just as he reached to unfasten the snap at my throat. The action between us was fumbled, his hand grazing roughly over my shoulder, and I wasn’t able to contain my hiss of pain as I jerked away from the movement.

“Divine hell, Em! What was that?”

“Sorry. I’m fine,” I said, stiffly shucking off my cloak and tossing it toward our packs.

“No, you’re clearly in pain. You’ve been favoring your arm all day. Why haven’t you healed yourself? “ His eyes narrowed. “Is that why D helped you off the horse?”

I was about to tell him what it was, but his comment set my blood on fire all over again. “Dewalt helped me off my horse because he’s madly in love with me, obviously. I thought you noticed?” I marched over to my pack, pulling out the attached bed roll and wicking away the water with Rain’s divinity as he’d shown me.

“Oh, don’t do that.”

“Do what, Rain? That’s why you punched him in the head, isn’t it? Male peacocking?”

“It was idiotic. We can agree that I acted a fool. Wait—peacocking? Like the bird? Nereza’s birds?”

“Yes. They show off for their mates with their big, stupid feathers and their insufferable egos.”

“I’ve seen her peacocks, you know. They’re quite beautiful.”

“Irrelevant. One can be both visually appealing and unbearable.”

His grin was a lazy one, slow-forming and intentional as he crossed his arms. I stuck out my chin, and he dropped his posture a second later.

“I healed Dewalt and plan to speak to him about it when we get back. He knew it would rile me, and I was already angry with him because of the Wend. For allowing you to—“

“Allowing me to?” I barked a laugh. “I am his queen. He didn’tallowme to do anything.”

“It’s the Wend, Em! Divine hell. You’d never even been to the capital until a couple months ago.”

“I’d never been the Beloved until a couple months ago, either. I made a mistake with the Wend, but only because I didn’t think about the familiar faces who went with me. Not because I shouldn’t have been doing it.”

“Then why was I forbidden to know what you were doing?”

“Because I knew you wouldn’t approve.”

“And you didn’t think you could convince me otherwise.”

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