Page 135 of Between Despair and Hope

“You could have fooled me.”

“The years apart from you were easier than these few weeks. You have consumed me. You think I don’t want to be near you? With you? Inside you? Gods, to finally have you back and be forced to stay away? I went to a fucking mindbreaker, Em.”

“You did what?” I exclaimed, whipping my head back to face him.

“To remove the memories of the shifter, but I guess they used one on me in Folterra. I can’t get rid of them. They’re too tangled. I’ll go mad trying.”

“Rain—“

“So, it’s funny you say I forget you. When I quite literally cannot forget even a fake, corrupted version of you. But I hear you, and I’m not going anywhere.”

“Don’t feel like you have—if it’s too much, I—“

“There hasn’t been a gods damn moment since I’ve met you when you haven’t been too much. You eclipse the fucking sun, Em. I ought to be used to it by now. You’ve been so brave. You saved our daughter, you saved me—gods, what can’t you do?”

I didn’t move as he finished unbuttoning my shirt and slipped it off my shoulders.

“I’m sorry I haven’t matched your fortitude. A flaw I’m going to begin to rectify tonight. I’m—I have to trust us, trustyou.”

“It’s not your—“

“Do you remember our last time here? You faced your fear. I helped you face it, and you stood beside me in this beautiful, god-touched cavern. It seems as good a place as any for you to help me face my own fears. Help me, dear heart.”

His fingers found the buttons of my breeches, and he unfastened them, tugging them down and struggling with the leggings I wore beneath. I didn’t move, afraid for more than one reason. He knelt, tugging at every barrier to my skin until his thumbs grazed my legs. I stood bare before him—in both heart and body.

He stayed where he was, sliding calloused hands up the outsides of my thighs, past my hips, before settling them on my waist. Leaning forward, he pressed his lips just under my navel. My limbs were frozen, stuck like stone. I was waiting for his shadows to make an appearance, for him to stop what he was doing and break me apart again.

His lips and hands forged a path downward.

“Let me,” he whispered against delicate skin, pressing a soft kiss to the juncture of my thigh.

I relaxed the tiniest bit, and he could tell, dragging his hands to my backside and gripping me. He dipped, kissing and licking his way over to that sensitive spot, and I closed my eyes. A sigh fought its way past my lips, and, tentatively, I rested my hand on his shoulder.

“You’re divine. The greatest thing the gods have ever done was deign for me to taste you for eternity. Now, spread your legs wider.”

I hesitated, still waiting for the pain.

“Don’t keep me from what belongs to me. Spread your legs, and show me that pretty cunt.”

His words reached low in my stomach and squeezed, twisting. He pressed a kiss to my clit and breathed deep—inhaling me. Ripping his shirt off, he tossed it behind him before gripping one of my thighs, pulling it up to rest on his shoulder. Nearly losing my balance, I latched onto his head, trying to dig my fingers into his hair.

“That’s right, put my tongue where you need me.” My skin muffled his voice.

“Rain, I don’t—are you sure?”

I tugged on his hair, pulling his head back so I could see him, and he licked his lips as his eyes met mine. He didn’t say a word in reply, but slid his hand up the inside of my planted leg, and his fingertips found me slick and wanting. Circling my entrance once, he pushed in two fingers, and I moaned, my hips twitching forward.

His other hand slid behind me, palming my ass, drawing me close. And he feasted. Ravenous, his lips and tongue roamed across my skin as he stroked relentless fingers inside of me. Thorough, unyielding, and punctuating, he coaxed me to the edge. Sucking my clit hard, he pulled me closer against him with a firm hand, and I wondered how he could breathe. He didn’t stop, didn’t slow down, just kept an unremitting pace. Part of me wondered if he was being so rough to punish me, but I dismissed it. Even if he was, he knew part of me needed a bit of pain. The sting made the pleasure all the sweeter. Moving up to a tiptoe, I held onto his hair and neck for balance, body jerking as he added a third finger and thrusted. I groaned, eyes rolling back.

Still moving inside me, Rain’s lips left my skin as he tilted his head up.

“I need you closer when you come on my tongue,” he panted.

“I’m a-about to,” I sighed as his fingers curled the slightest bit, making my knee buckle.

“Not close enough.” His fingers abruptly left me, and he adjusted, one hand wrapping around my thigh on his shoulder while tugging on the back of my other leg. When he moved, pulling me toward him as he started leaning back, I realized his intention.

“Rain, I don’t know—“

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