Page 151 of Between Despair and Hope

She blew out a breath. “Help me think of something. I know I can do whatever I want, but I don’t knowwhatI want.”

“Well, I’m sure you probably want to help someone. Is there a family in town who could use it? One of your patients?”

“Oh gods.” She straightened, bringing her wide blue eyes to mine. “I just realized. What have they been doing without me and Mairin?”

“There is no other healer?”

“Not any good ones,” she murmured as she worried her bottom lip.

“Well, there’s a good idea. We can find a healer and offer this home as part of their wages.”

“They can’t afford to pay a healer here.”

“We’ll pay them then.”

“What?”

I nearly laughed at her surprise. “We’ll give them the house to live in and an allowance to live off of as long as they’re serving the town.”

“You’d do that?”

“Yes, but, more importantly, you would. And you’re the queen.”

“The council will allow that appropriation of funds?”

“They allot certain funds for special projects. This can be one. If I have to divert some funds from the sewer system, I can. I’ll do some of the work myself if I have to.”

“They approved of that? Nobody told me,” she said.

“Fuck. Yes. That was why I was at the estate when you came back with Dewalt.”

“Ah, that’s why you forgot. Distracted by punching your best friend in the face.”

I averted my eyes before mumbling, “Let’s not bring that up.”

“He and Thyra kept me sane while you were gone. I don’t know what I would have done without the two of them.” Quiet, she stepped toward me as she spoke, and I couldn’t bring myself to look at her. I’d acted foolishly.

“I’m happy you had them. Ven said Thyra slept in your quarters,” I said.

“To keep me from going to Folterra alone.”

A shuddering breath left my body. I could only imagine. I finally met her gaze, and I wasn’t surprised to find her looking furious. “Thank the gods she stopped you. Divine hell, Em. You would’ve gotten yourself killed. I’m shocked no one got hurt when you did come.”

“Dewalt made me eat even when I didn’t want to. Made me talk. Let me tell him how angry I was with you.”

“Angry with me?”

“For trying to sacrifice yourself for me, for getting yourself taken, for leaving me again.” Her voice shook.

“I’m sorry, Em. I don’t know how many more times I can say it or try to make it up to you,” I said, resigned. “I won’t apologize for trying to protect you. I just won’t. I do apologize for how I chose to go about it though.”

“I’m not asking for that. I’m just telling you that Dewalt is one of the best friends either of us could deserve, and you hitting him was insulting to both of us. He would never do something like that. He only did what he did to piss you off. You had to know it wasn’t real.”

“I know. It’s just—seeing how close the two of you got while I was gone had me thinking some stupid things.”

“Like?”

“It’s so idiotic, I don’t even want to tell you.” I ran my hand over my jaw as I looked toward the hearth, the hypnotic bubbling of the water an easy distraction.

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