Page 157 of Between Despair and Hope

Using my elbows as leverage, I lifted my hips and slammed into her as hard as I could, and she moaned on my hand, biting my knuckle. She pulled my other hand close, and I crowded her. And yet it still wasn’t close enough.

I wanted to wring pleasure from her every single night, wanted to write my name in her flesh. Her body was mine and mine alone. There were nights during our time apart—forced and self-inflicted—when I thought about how close we’d come to losing one another forever. To never having this chance. If Faxon hadn’t found out about Elora’s paternity, would we have ever found each other again? Would she have continued to live unhappily with him, even after Elora had grown and left? The idea maddened me. Short, punctuated thrusts to ease my frustration over those thoughts had her crying out. I could feel her clenching around me and knew she was close.

I bent down and nipped her ear. “Do you need my hand to come? Or will my cock be enough?”

“Don’t you dare move,” she ordered. “Keep going.”

I obeyed, maintaining a steady pace and feeling her tighten around me as her moans turned high-pitched. Biting the inside of my cheek, I stopped myself from finishing so she could ride out the full wave of her release, squeezing my length. She bit down hard on my knuckle, and I lost my resolve. The pleasure was too much. Those delicate internal muscles fluttered around me, and I grunted as I spilled deep inside her. I laid there for a moment on top of her as we both caught our breath before realizing I was crushing her.

Using my hands to walk my body up and take some weight off her, I was on my knees between her legs, hands on her ass as I pulled out of her. She made a noise, wincing at the absence, and I watched as I dripped out of her. The glint of her wetness on my cock, the mess we’d made of one another, was enough to satiate some primal instinct of mine. The sight was enough to draw a grumble out of my chest as I used my thumb to circle her entrance, pushing my release back inside and drawing a whimper from her lips. Though I was on the tonic, part of me wished I wasn’t. I knew the timing was wrong, knew it could risk her, but it was just one more way our rash decisions had robbed us. And I wanted it. I wanted to experience everything with her.

She sat up on her elbows, arching her back as she turned her head to the side to look at me.

“There are towels in the hall closet,” she said, voice raspy from her cries.

“I’m content to watch you like this.”

“Rogue.”

“Yourrogue,“ I corrected.

“Well, you’re going to have to help me clean myself up if you want to be fed.”

“And why’s that?”

She gave an exaggerated sniff in the air while making a face. “Burnt green beans.”

Gods, how she healed my soul.

Chapter 42

Emmeline

We’dneverbotheredtoward Ravemont, the cost outweighing the risk, so I could have rifted straight inside if I’d wanted. But for some reason I didn’t know, I opened the rift outside near the fountain instead. Emptied for the winter, a thin layer of snow covered the bottom of the water feature. I wrung my hands as I stared up at the statue of the little girl. The dandelion she had once held had broken off since my last visit. I didn’t know why I was nervous. Rain put his hand on the small of my back as he moved to stand beside me, sensing I needed his touch.

“How is it so similar and different all at once?” I murmured.

“Time makes us look at things differently.”

“This is only the second time I’ve been here since Lucia died. Winter makes it worse, I think. It’s…dead.”

“It’s not your home anymore. Places we used to call ours never feel quite the same once we’ve left.”

“Does Crown Cottage feel that way to you?”

He sighed. “Crown Cottage changed onceyouleft. I still visit regularly, but it hasn’t been the same, no.”

“I’m surprised you still went. What with Dewalt, I mean. That had to be hard for him.”

“Dewalt is actually why we went. He wanted to visit more often than I did.”

“He probably feels closer to her when he’s there. Most of my memories with her are here—once you lot went to Astana for the winter. And of course, from before we were cursed with knowing you,” I added with a grin.

His hand slid to my waist as he tugged my body against his. “The feeling is mutual, Em.”

The sun came out from behind a cloud, blinding us with its glint on the snow. I took a deep breath. I didn’t know what I was waiting for. It was my father. We’d once been close—though it felt like a lifetime ago. Steeling myself, I broke from Rain’s grip on my waist and moved toward the front door. Mister Carson had it open by the time I reached the bottom step.

“Your Majesties,” he said with a deep bow.

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