Page 187 of Between Despair and Hope

“Are you going to be in there all day getting sick, or are you going to come help me with the stable? Mistress Imogene wants it done before nightfall.” The last damn voice I wanted to hear rang out, drawing me from my self-indulgent wallowing.

Making a face and mocking Theo’s words, I pulled myself up and waited for the contents of my skull to catch up to their new, vertical position. “I’ll help with the stable, but I doubt I can rule out the potentiality of more vomit.”

“Serves you right.”

That motivated me, and I stood up quickly, immediately regretting it. After a deep breath, I pulled on my lowliest set of breeches and boots and my cloak before thinking better of it. I only had the one cloak, and mucking the stables in it seemed a poor idea. Instead, I layered on another shirt and a thick jacket, hopeful it would keep out the chill well enough. Theo had already gone outside when I made my way down the hall. I didn’t bother hastening my steps, knowing nothing but annoyance and shit waited for me.

“Hasn’t he realized he has no place here?” I heard Theo’s voice on the other side of the door, and my heart stopped beating in my chest as I waited to hear who he might have been speaking to. There was one person who could reply and ruin me, and I held my breath.

“Listen here, boy.” My stomach twisted into a knot, but I loosed a sigh, listening to the gods damn King of Vesta’s tone turn reprimanding. “Anyone who flees from the Umbroth reign will find a home in Vesta.”

“But,he’san Um—”

“Ah.” Though I couldn’t see it, Rainier stopped Theo from speaking. “Though you are my da—Elora’s friend, I am still your king. In my stead, the queen pardoned the prince, and I upheld that decision. Elora gave her approval as well. If that girl, yourfriend, has the space in her heart to let him live here freely, I expect the rest of my kingdom to make an effort.”

I swallowed, shock at his words filling me with far too much exhilaration. I hadn’t known Elora said I could stay. I heard footsteps approach, and I pushed my way through the door quickly, squinting thanks to the winter sun. I didn’t want either of them to know I’d overheard what they said.

“Your Majesty,” I said, sweeping into a bow. “Has Mistress Imogene gotten to you, too?”

The king blinked at me for a moment, taken by surprise. I’d barely interacted with him at all, cowed by the idea of him doing to me exactly what I deserved after harming Elora. Though he stood barely taller than me, his physique was true to any warrior, shoulders broad and muscled, clear to any observer, even beneath his thick cloak. Any time I’d been near him, I searched his face for similarities to her. The one thing which stood out to me every time was her smile, and it was gifted to me, albeit on his face, when he threw his head back and laughed.

“Nana put you boys to work?”

I couldn’t stop myself as my brows shot up to my hairline. “Nana?” I sputtered.

“Oh, yes. She must see something in the two of you. She’d never let me call her anything else,” he chuckled. “Unfortunately, I do not have time to help with whatever tasks she’s assigned you. Theo, you’ll have to make do on your own today. Tell Nana it was my fault.”

From behind Rainier, Theo shot daggers at me before groaning and heading toward the stable by himself.

“Finally rifting me back to Folterra?” Even after what I’d overheard, in the back of my mind, I’d always wonder when my time had run out. Uprooted from place to place, I’d never known stability. How could I possibly expect it in enemy territory after I’d proven myself a wretch?

“Do you want to go back to Folterra?” He pressed his lips together, as if he wanted to speak, but stopped himself.

“One day, I suppose I’ll be expected to, won’t I? After the Three Kingdoms are rid of Declan? Unless this is all an elaborate ploy to—”

“It is no ploy, princeling. You’re the one who—” He shook his head, glancing at the sky above us. “After Declan has been deposed, you will be king, and you will be expected to rule. Am I right in assuming you know very little about ruling?”

I plucked at the sleeve of my jacket before replying. “There was no need or desire—from both parties, to be fair. I never allowed myself to have any interest in it. Though, I recognize now that was a mistake.”

Rubbing a hand over his brow, the king approached. He only looked a little younger than Declan, but I knew my brother outmatched him by at least a couple of centuries. Truth be told, I didn’t know how old Declan was. The two men couldn’t be more different. My brother was obsessed with his appearance—a single fleck of lint would ruin his entire week—while Rainier seemed to care very little. He wore comfortable clothing, not bothering with finery. And the shadow of a beard on his face would have made Declan ill.

“I make no judgments about what you know and what you do not. I knew very little at your age,” the king said.

“Well, now Folterra is going to suffer more than it already has.”

“A desire to avoid their suffering is half the battle. You can only be responsible for what you do. The wars of our ancestors can stop with us. I do not resent you as an Umbroth, just as I hope you do not resent me as a Vestana.”

“No, no resentment. You’ve been far kinder to me than I had any right to experience.”

“That we have.” He raised an eyebrow, daring me to have a smart-mouthed retort. When I remained silent, he continued. “You only have two women to thank for your continued existence. If it were up to me, even now I don’t know if I particularly like seeing your head attached to your neck. I need you to repay their kindness.”

“Anything, of c-course,” I stuttered, nervous.

“Well, firstly, I need to know. Do you regret it?” Jaw tight, he stared down at me, his temple throbbing.

“I haven’t stopped regretting it. If I could go back and change it, I—” I shook my head. “Only the gods know how many times I prayed to take it all back. To let me start over. I would never have hurt her. I will never hurt her again, I swear to you.”

“You speak as if you might be given the chance to harm her,” he said, scowling. I hung my head as he exhaled slowly. When I chanced a glance at him, he only stared at me, arms crossed as he chewed on the inside of his cheek. Finally, he took a deep breath before continuing. “Emmeline and I have Ciarden’s shadows, and you’ve had them your entire life, have you not?”

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