“How have I hurt you?” she whispered. She smelled as good as she had the last time, and that pissed me off all the more.
“By cursing me to think of your lips when it’s the last gods damned thing I should think about. You’re part of the Myriad, and—”
“And you blame them for her death,” she finished.
“Yes.”
“I am not part of the Myriad. We parted ways when they shipped me off to—to Declan.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Doesn’t it? You don’t trust me because of something I had no control over being a part of.” Her eyes were always changing, reacting to the surrounding environment. Today, they looked more green than brown, and her pupils were dilated.
“I don’t trust you because of that, because you hid your identity as one of the elven—”
“I didn’t hide—”
“What else are you hiding?” My limbs moved of their own accord as I stepped even closer, tucking a wayward strand of hair behind her ear. Feeling the skin there, rough and scarred, I trailed a finger over it. Ear barely pointed, it occurred to me someone might have tried to hide her elf-blood. Her reaction was immediate and involuntary as she shuddered.
“The elf-blood,” she breathed. “My ears were pointed before he cut them…”
Hot rage ripped through me, and I clenched my fists. “Your father did this too? I thought he was elvish.”
“He is. He—his ears are not pointed, though. He can hide it, I suppose.”
“That makes no sense.”
“Or maybe he cut at his own. I do not know.” I hadn’t even realized how close we stood until I felt her fingertips flutter on my side. “Why do you hate me?”
“I don’t hate you. I just don’t trust you.”
“Because I make you forget about her.”
“What? No.” I reared back. “Because you are full of secrets and—and temptation,” I stuttered.
“Now who sounds like a zealot? I am full of temptation? I put you off guard because you want to rut me, is that it?”
“Rutyou? Gods, you were truly raised by the Myriad, weren’t you?“ I couldn’t say she was wrong though, could I? Ever since that gods forsaken kiss, I’d thought of it more than once. Would she take the lead like she had in the hallway? She flushed, cheeks reddening as her eyes darted away from me.
“You hate yourself for it.” Her voice dropped lower. “I’m sorry I went into the wrong baths. I—I shouldn’t have been there. You shouldn’t have—we shouldn’t have seen one another.” Though her voice shook, she found her confidence a moment later. “Still, though. Ever since then, I’ve seen the looks you give me. My mother taught me what to look for when a man…” She trailed off as she pulled her hand away from me abruptly, clearly realizing what she’d been doing.
A pang of guilt took root in my stomach. For knowing how she must feel about men after what her mother endured, and gods only knew what else she’d seen. For knowing she was right. How was the first woman to affect me this way part of the very organization which had killed Lu? And a tiny part of me was angry it wasn’t Ven who’d been able to affect me so. It would have been easier. But my frustration renewed at the thought of her finding me lecherous, looking at her in some perverted fashion.
“You’re the one who kissed me, Nor,” I retorted.
“Only as a ruse!” she exclaimed.
“If it were only for a ruse, you wouldn’t have parted my lips with that wandering tongue. You wouldn’t have given me those little moans of pleasure. You wouldn’t have pulled me closer. Don’t pretend your thighs don’t slicken every time you think about that kiss.”
Pinned between me and the desk, her lips parted, and I heard the hint of a stuttering breath. Perhaps we both had something we needed to get out of our system. The idea of kissing her again didn’t bring me disgust when standing this close to her.
“I won’t pretend you’re not a good kisser,” she whispered, eyes on my lips.
“I’m good at other things too,” I said, tugging at the loose pants around her hips, not thinking. When she gripped my wrist with one hand, tight, I froze. But she didn’t pull me away from her. After a moment, her grip loosened, and I continued my path. She never let go, but she let my hand wander as her breaths grew stuttered. Her other hand returned to my side, her fingertips trembling as she moved them up my skin. Tracing down past rough curls, I found her heat as she let out a gasp.
She was wet as hell.
“You can claim it’s ‘only a ruse’ all you want, but this mess tells me otherwise,” I said, leaning forward and pressing my lips to the side of her neck. I wouldn’t kiss her on the mouth again, no. This would be just what I needed to get her out of my gods damned head. Circling her entrance for a second, I pulled my finger toward that tender, sensitive spot, using her wetness to glide across her skin. Her hips jerked, giving me better access. “Now who wants torut?”