Page 208 of Between Despair and Hope

Another creature flew over, and I watched as a giant boulder hit it, knocking it out of its flight. When it came tumbling down upon us, I used the last bit of my divinity to cover the three of us and pulled Elora into my arms.

Chapter 55

Emmeline

Iwasjustsittingdown to tea with Nana in her room in the dormitory when I heard a thundering of hooves outside. With the dormitory being on the outskirts of the capital, it was unlikely it was someone just passing through.

“I’ll be right back, Nana.”

I’d been eager to see her since we returned from Ravemont, to ask her questions about my mother, and demand she explain to me why I was never told about how she died. I was angry with the woman, but I knew there had to be some sort of explanation.

“It’s probably just Cyran. Theo is out back with the horses and said one of them was missing.”

“He’s—yes, it might be him,” I said, not bothering to explain. Her room was right off the entryway, easy for her to keep track of all the comings and goings, so I was outside within a moment.

Dewalt swung off his horse, hair a flyaway mess as he strode toward me, sounding as if he was apologizing. “I should have mentioned it sooner, but forgot to tell you when you came back, and she’s about to—oh fuck, here she is,” he said, just as Nor came flying down the road behind him. “Her mother is Miriam. The mistress. I told her what happened. I’m sorry. The one from—”

I stared at him blankly, and I barely had a second to react before Nor was behind him, flinging herself at his back, nails dragging at his face and skin.

“Nor!” I shouted, but her own cries drowned me out.

“You knew! You knew she killed my mother and didn’t tell me!” Tears streamed down the woman’s face, mixing with the sorrow in her eyes as she wrapped one arm around his neck, trying to pull him to the ground.

“Nor, stop. It was—she—” I started, trying to say too many things all at once.

“You!” she screamed, pointing a finger at me over Dewalt’s shoulder.

“Me,” I said firmly. “Nothim. Let him go.”

When she didn’t do as I commanded, I let my shadows gently ripple toward her, and she detached herself from Dewalt before I had to use them.

“Don’t. Don’t use the shadows on me,” she mumbled, wiping tears from her eyes.

“And Declan is her father,” Dewalt said, wiping blood from his neck. He was calm as he said it, unnervingly so.

I stared between the two of them, jaw dropped, unable to process what they were telling me.

“What is going on over here?” Theo’s voice cried out from the side of the building just as Nana opened the door, probably about to ask the same thing.

“Nothing!” Nor, Dewalt, and I all spoke at the same time. Theo and Nana watched warily, but the boy turned, shaking his head as he went back to work.

“A lot of the novices are inside doing nap time. Just because these old ears can barely hear you doesn’t mean the babes won’t,” Nana scolded before heading back into the dormitory.

“He said she made you do it?” Nor whispered, tears dried and arms crossed over her chest.

“Yes. She—she spoke into my mind and told me…I suppose I now know what she meant when she said the Myriad suspected I wasn’t what I appeared to be. I—Filenti had told me to stop her heart and start it again.”

“Then why didn’t you?” she demanded, cutting me off.

“Do you want to go sit—”

“No, I want answers.” Her jaw was set, and eyes, which I now recognized as the Umbroth hazel, glared down at me. I needed to know more about that, but gods, I had to explain myself. Dewalt turned his body, so he stood between us, watching us both with caution. I made a note to reprimand him for not giving me more warning.

“Your mother told me not to start her heart again. She said if I did, we would die anyway and thousands more too, because they would know what I was. A seer told her. I know now she meant I was the Beloved.”

Nor’s posture eased a bit, face softening when she saw my own sorrow. “I knew she had begun meeting with a seer. They don’t like seers that much. The Myriad, I mean. So she did it in private. I wonder if they caught her.” She shook her head, chewing on the inside of her cheek. “Filenti orchestrated this?” she asked, and I nodded. “You said she spoke to you? Did she say anything else?”

I closed my eyes, imagining the woman who might have looked like her daughter a long time ago, the only similarity their dark-brown hair and tanned skin. “I suppose the message she had was for you. She asked me to tell you she was sorry she wasn’t better.”

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