Page 213 of Between Despair and Hope

“As Fiona. You’d do this for someone you loved.”

I snorted. “Hurt people to save someone? No.”

“Not even for Dewalt? If you had to go to the end of the sea and barter with the Seaborn Queen?” I couldn’t place the tone of her voice.

“I don’t know. I—” I hesitated, not wanting to upset her, but decided I didn’t care. “I don’t think I’ve ever felt that strongly foranyone. If it was as simple as bartering, sure, but not this.”

“You feel that strongly foreveryone. Do you mean you haven’t held someone above all the rest? Nowthat, I could believe. If it was anyone you cared for, you’d have done this in a heartbeat. But that’s the thing. With loving everyone so fiercely, you don’t have any left over.”

“This feels like an argument for the sake of arguing.”

“And what if it is? Humor me.”

I chuckled, pulling myself up into a seated position. “Fine. I feel strongly for the people I care about, yes.”

“You have all the love and conviction for people you care about, but you don’t save any extra for the one person you should hold above the others. You never could do it with Dewalt, and you never bothered to with me. Do you think it will be different this time? With her?”

“With Mairin?”

“No, with Queen Emmeline,” she huffed in annoyance. “Yes, with Mairin.”

“She’s a friend who I care about.”

“You begged on your knees until they bled.”

“I’d have done that for anyone I care about. I’d have done it for you, even though you hate me.”

She was silent for a moment, and I listened to her calm breathing. “I don’t hate you.” I couldn’t help but laugh at her words, and she joined in a moment later. It was a soft sound I hadn’t realized I’d missed. “Alright, I don’t hate you as much as I used to. We weren’t compatible,” she admitted.

“No?”

“I hated everyone but me and you. Still hate everyone. You loved everyone so much, you didn’t have enough left to love us—not fully.”

“You don’t hate everyone. You’re kind, Brenna, I—”

The screech of a dragon interrupted us, and we jumped to our feet as Nixy jolted awake, knocking over the bucket, and the reek of piss filled the small cabin. Boots pounded away from us, and Nixy was shoving past me to throw his body against the door before I could move. A loud thud reverberated from above, and we all flinched.

“Come on. We have to get to the dragon. Are you ready?”

“Mairin is below, Nix. I can’t leave without her.”

“I’ll get her,” Brenna said. “I swear. But you have to go. Get to Hyše.”

Nixy kicked near the doorknob, and it slammed open. He led the way, finding the ladder which led to a trapdoor, and without hesitation, flung it open. Brenna slid past me, moving toward the other end of the ship. I groaned, my eyes adjusting painfully to the sun. Nixy charged through, grabbing a saber from the limp form of a body lying still on the deck. Though his wrists were still cuffed, preventing him from rifting, Fiona had given him some slack, and he tossed the saber to me before snagging an abandoned weapon laying at his feet.

Chaos reigned.

Hyše circled from above, diving past flaming arrows to tear pirates from the deck before tossing them. Most of her marks went flying into the water, but I understood the source of the loud thud from moments ago as one man fell back to the deck, an earsplitting crack telling me he didn’t survive the fall. It also explained the abandoned weapon.

An arrow hit the dragon, going through her wing, and she screeched—flying farther out to sea before turning back, a dot against the sun. Nixy crept over to a barrel and knelt behind it. I joined him, unnoticed.

Fiona clambered out of the same trapdoor we’d come from. “Find them!” she screamed. She wasn’t wearing shoes, her hat missing completely, and Tetty slipped on a rung as they climbed up behind their partner. They both appeared disheveled from sleep, and though it was midday, I wondered if it was because Tetty’s illness necessitated rest. They wobbled on their feet, and Fiona gripped their elbow to steady them.

It was then I heard the song.

I couldn’t understand why Mairin would even bother, not in this chaos, when more than half the people on the ship were unassailable by her song. But gods, it was beautiful. I searched for her, doing my best to find her without revealing where Nixy and I hid. When I finally spotted her across the ship, Brenna was beside her, doing her best to hold off any of the attackers who didn’t fall victim to Mai’s song. I watched as they crossed the deck together, surprised by the way they moved as one. Where Brenna’s sword missed, Mairin carried a small dagger. They’d spent a lot of time together while Mairin gave me space, and I wondered if that was the reason for their harmony. Far closer than was comfortable, I heard Fiona join her in song and panicked.

“Don’t look either of them in the eyes, Nix. I don’t know what Mairin is saying, and I don’t—”

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