Page 219 of Between Despair and Hope

“I said stop talking.” I sobered though, realizing that if she didn’t get back fast enough with water, if I didn’t have enough access to my divinity, I might be stopping my friend from saying his last words. “You kissed her?” I asked, attempting to be soothing.

He tilted his head down a bit in confirmation. “Thought her stabbing me was a sign.” A gasping breath. “Might still be a sign.”

“And what would that sign be?” I asked. Adjusting, I maintained pressure on the wound while moving my body to rest beside his.

“Maybe your sister doesn’t approve.”

I clicked my tongue, shooting a look at him. “She could be an ass, D. Trust me, I know. But she would have wanted you to be happy.”

Dewalt glanced over my shoulder before closing his eyes once more. “Fuck, this hurts. Everywhere.” One of his hands slid up to his stomach, and I tried to pour more divinity into his chest, but what I had was barely enough to do anything. Footsteps approached behind me and Nor returned, dumping a bucket of water over my thigh. Down on her knees, she began to scrub at my leg with a gentle touch.

“More forceful than that, Nor.” I winced as she obeyed. Blood dripped down onto my hands, and I knew the worst of the embedded rock was stuck in my face and chest, but I didn’t know how she could do much there while I held compression on his wound. The change in my divinity was barely noticeable, and it was becoming harder and harder to staunch the blood working to pump freely into the rest of his body. Between that and his panting getting worse, I felt for the bond, praying to the gods Rain would come. Though I didn’t know what we would do once he found us, because with Dewalt’s lungs compromised and his heart beating too fast as they were, could Rain repair it himself? He was still a bit clumsy with my healing divinity.

I felt Dewalt’s body twitch, and I glanced up at his face to find it in a grimace.

“Emma,” he whispered, gasping for breath. “Cut my hair.”

“No,” I said, voice breaking as I blinked back tears. “You’re not dying.”

“I’m notnotdying though, am I?” He uttered out between inhales which grew weaker and weaker. His small smile as he looked at me undid me. My face screwed up, and a tear slipped free.

“I’m going to fix you, D. You’re going to be alright.”

Nor scrubbed harder at my extended leg, and it drew a gasp from me. Even if she could pull every tiny shard out of it, it still wouldn’t be enough. Dewalt slid his hand over from where it rested on his stomach, and a light brush of his pointer finger against my arm brought my gaze back to his.

“I will be alright, I know. Just…let me look upon her face.” I thought he meant Nor, and based on her stilled movements, she thought he meant that too. But he looked at me with shining eyes, and I realized what he meant. He swallowed and took two gasping breaths. “I’m fucking tired, mouse.”

“It’s alright, D. I’m going to—it’s going to be alright.”

I could barely feel them, but I tugged on those golden threads with everything I had.

Dewalt closed his eyes, and I panicked. Every bit of my divinity I could pour into him, I did to the point of pain, and I felt his fingertip brush against me once more. “Cut my hair,” he breathed, struggling to speak. “And go save the boy. Let me go.”

Dewalt didn’t open his eyes again as he fell into unconsciousness. I didn’t move my hands, didn’t dare stop what I was doing. Barely keeping him alive as it was, I wouldn’t listen for Theo’s heart, hoping it was as steady as I’d left it.

“I’ll do it,” Nor whispered, and keeping my hands on the wound, I looked over my shoulder at the novice. Her dark hair hung down in front of her face, and she wouldn’t look at me. “I’ll cut his hair.”

I swallowed and nodded as she rose, walking over to retrieve my dagger. Gently lifting his head to rest in her lap, deft fingertips pulled his hair from beneath his head, carefully bundling it together. He moaned a bit, the jostling of his body causing him pain even in sleep.

“I-I don’t know the beliefs of the old gods. Do I just cut it?”

“I’m sure however you do it will be fine,” I whispered. I watched as my dagger slipped through the strands, cutting the black silk shorter. “A warrior until the end,” I said, my voice breaking.

“Until the end,” Nor agreed, and her long fingers brushed tiny circles of comfort on his temples, and she began to cry too—as a small smile lifted his lips.

Chapter 61

Lavenia

ItfeltasifI were gliding as the song pulled my body toward the center of the ship. A serene peace came over me, reminding me of floating on my back in a lake as a child, sun-drenched and tired. Even the wind had seemed to die down, and my worries over Mairin had calmed. She was a merrow, after all. It didn’t matter if she didn’t have her pendant—I’d seen her swim. I moved past selkie and pirate alike, all frozen. The selkies let their heads turn as they watched me, but the pirates only moved their eyes, as if the same song was keeping them moored to the deck.

A tentacle pushed Mairin onto the ship in a wet heap. She was on her knees, curls drenched, as she held herself up by her hands, coughing. Though I wasn’t nearly as worried about her as I had been only moments ago, I found relief in her presence. She was pale as snow and shaking from the cold, but as her green eyes lifted to mine, I couldn’t tell what I saw. Fear? Frustration? I watched with a detached awareness as the tentacle behind her seemed to shrink, wrapping around the railing as it heaved a giant body from the water.

I should have been more concerned, but my heart didn’t pound and my skin didn’t pebble; the song kept me compliant.

As the body belonging to the tentacles slopped onto the deck, I couldn’t believe it had been able to take Hyše from the sky. It had to have shrunk—far too small, it was barely bigger than a pony if you didn’t count the tentacles. One large eye watched me from the center of a cylindrical body. The song stopped, and the eye blinked, and I realized the haunting melody had been coming from the creature. At once, my heart started racing, and I tried to scramble away from it—but I slammed into the wet body of a selkie who stood behind me.

“Let go of me!” I shouted, tearing myself away from him. He was far warmer than I expected, especially considering just how gods damned frigid the winter air was. His grip was tight on my upper arms as he turned me to face the creature writhing before us.

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