Page 26 of Between Despair and Hope

I nodded, arms crossed tightly over my body, thinking of the repercussions. If we did this, if we stole the boy, it could endanger Rain. I’d have to know Ashmont would finally act.

“Who is most senior in rank after Ashmont?” I asked.

Dewalt looked over at Lavenia, who, along with Mairin, had joined us in the last quarter hour. She ran a hand through her dark curls and sighed.

“I suppose Raj, if we work under the assumption that Rainier is king.”

“Good. Thyra, send word to Raj to get here as quickly as possible. Lavenia and Raj are going to lead a coup.”

Thyra nodded before leaving the room, not a single complaint from her lips. Lavenia’s eyebrows rose, but she had no further reaction. Dewalt laughed, mopping a hand over his brow before resting his head in his hand.

“Care to explain your plan?” he asked.

“Rain is king; Lavenia is heir if we discount Elora. They’ll listen to you,” I offered, and she studied me for a moment before nodding slowly. “Listen, I—I can’t have this endangering Rain. I choose him. I choose him over this boy, over everyone save Elora. But the prince can help her, even if he’s just a child. If Shivani has already notified Declan, he will be angry when we don’t follow through. I need the army poised. Lavenia, compel whoever the hell you need to compel to make this happen.” Her face tightened at my words, but I continued. “Please, Ven. I—if I had any other idea, anything else, I’d do it. But I have nothing. When Raj gets here, the two of you can mobilize, and you probably won’t have to compel anyone anymore. This is the best I’ve got.”

My friend heaved a sigh as she leaned forward, putting her head in both hands. I let her think and turned to Mairin.

“You’ll come with us and protect the boy after we fetch him? Bring him to the estate?” The merrow nodded, a curious look on her face. “I’m not coming back until I have Rain. I’m done. So, I need you to swear you’ll look after them both.” I cast a glance toward the shut door to the bedroom which held my daughter.

“I swear it. I’ll bring them both to the estate and have it warded.”

Thyra slammed back into the room, flustered more than she was before.

“The queen mother is on her way with guards. They’ll be here in minutes.”

“Shit!” Dewalt jumped from his seat in a panic. My hand was in my pocket, tracing my fingertips over that shell from Rain.

Deep breath in, slow exhale. I closed my eyes, imagining his fingers threading through mine after he’d stopped me from hurting myself at the inn in Mira. When he’d gripped my wrist during my fit of fury and frustration, his warm body next to mine, and calmed me with his presence. He was the other half of my soul, and it only took me a moment to find a solution when I attempted to think like him. A small smile spread across my face, and I opened my eyes.

“Dewalt, go get Elora.”

He blinked at me for a moment before nodding and slipping into the bedroom.

Thyra was right—we only had a few minutes. I heard the door burst open as the rift closed behind me.

Shivani had forgotten that part of my divinity was from Rain. After my stint in the dungeon, Rain had the wards keyed to his power, and that power wasmine.

It took a few hours, but by the time we left the freshly warded estate, Lavenia and Elora were protected by the members of Rain’s guard who had returned to the capital rather than staying behind to help rebuild the Cascade. As soon as Raj arrived, he and Lavenia would do what needed to be done to ensure my success. When Shivani chose to do this, to go against what I said and what Rain would want, it was she who forced my hand instead of the other way around. I would make sure she regretted that decision. And whatever happened over the next few days would end in Rain’s return to Astana. I would make sure of it, even if I had to wipe Darkhold off the gods damn map.

While we waited for the soldiers to arrive, I made sure we were prepared for a few days. My wardrobe was blessedly stocked, and I dressed appropriately, packing extra leggings to wear under my breeches, a few extra sweaters and gloves and cloaks. I turned to the other side of the closet and grabbed clothing for Rain, not even considering an outcome where I wouldn’t be reunited with him in the coming days. I slipped upstairs to the room Dewalt stayed in, grateful he had some clothing there to choose from. Surreptitiously, I grabbed an extra pair of pants, figuring Thyra was better suited for Dewalt’s tall and lean garments than she was for my own.

The concentration of getting us to the apple tree gave me a headache. The memory of Rain wiping juice from my chin and kissing me with sweetened lips was a painful one. It took me entirely too long to realize the version of the apple tree I was imagining wouldn’t be close enough to what waited for us. There would be snow and the tree would be bare. By the time my mental image aligned closely enough to the tree itself and the four of us marched through the rift, my skull felt like it was about to burst. But my divinity bubbled like a pot boiling over, and I wondered if it was due to finally using more than the bare minimum. Following my intuition, I pulled flames into my hands, skimming some of the power off and easing the pressure.

I sent some of my healing divinity to my head, hopeful it would counteract the pain gathering at the base of my skull. Huddled around my divine fire, the others were silent. Dewalt had already made it clear he’d accompany me to the bitter end after we retrieved Cyran, doing whatever he could to help infiltrate Darkhold. But I wouldn’t risk another person I loved. If I thought for a second we wouldn’t succeed, I’d do what I needed to ensure his safety.

We were nearly halfway to the Cascade when I had to stop for a longer break, head aching again. No one had spoken, all four of us huddled around the small fire I’d lit from kindling Dewalt had gathered. Thinking about how I’d protect both him and Thyra, I was startled when I heard a rift open nearby, and I hadn’t realized how desperately I’d wanted to hear the sound coming from someone who wasn’t me.

The disappointment was a stone in my gut.

Raj, a soldier named Nix I vaguely remembered, and a woman I didn’t recognize came through the rift, and I exhaled a sigh—relief and sorrow mingling. Raj’s steps stuttered for a second before he was hauling Dewalt into an embrace, both men clapping each other on the back in a gesture I found far more painful than expected. Both men were tall, strong, vibrant—would I still be able to say the same about Rain once we got him back?

“Your note was quite vague,” Raj said as he glanced over Dewalt’s shoulder at Thyra.

“There wasn’t time,” Thyra grunted before deferring to me. The captain’s gaze moved over to settle on me, and something flashed across his face I couldn’t quite decipher. He crossed the distance between us and bowed, grasping my hand in his as he lifted it to his lips.

“Quit this, Raj, what are—”

“Your Majesty, I’m sorry it has come to this. I will do my best.”

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