Page 27 of Between Despair and Hope

Pity. That was what his eyes contained. Not malicious, not inconceivable considering the circumstances, but unwelcome all the same.

I pulled my hand away.

“Thank you. Lavenia already has a few ideas for how to handle Shivani and this situation, and I trust the both of you to do what needs to be done.” I said, crossing my arms over my body and averting my gaze. Raj was a widower, and pity from him only made me feel as if he thought my journey would soon mirror his.

The woman who had accompanied the two men pushed past them and swept down into a curtsy. It took me a moment to realize her accent was crisp like Cyran’s. Folterran. “Your Majesty,” she said. “My name is Aida. I’m Raj’s—

“The children’s tutor,” Raj butted in, and I swore I saw his cheeks darken.

Dewalt chuckled but quickly stifled it when I shot him a look. My headache had eased by then, so I decided it was time to continue on our journey.

“The prince hadn’t arrived at the Cascade yet when you left, had he? Did you pass them?”

The captain shook his head. “No, but it’s possible Rivvens took a different route. His family lives this way. Or they could have detoured at Nara’s Cove.”

I nodded, hoping we could catch them before they made it too far.

Mairin, who had been uncharacteristically quiet, pressed a hand down on my shoulder before announcing we needed to leave. We exchanged goodbyes, and I ignored Raj’s cautious gaze, half-tempted to snap at him. I had never been any good at handling people looking at me as if I’d shatter. The only reason I didn’t lash out was because of the last person who had looked at me like that. I remembered what I’d give to take back any harsh word I’d ever said to the man who’d not only ensured I didn’t fall apart, but mended my cracks as they’d formed.

Night fell as we finally arrived in Nara’s Cove, and I was exhausted. Every rift I made was more and more difficult, and my head throbbed. Dewalt and Mairin were bickering about something, and I tilted my head onto Thyra’s shoulder where she sat beside me. We’d found a bench to rest upon while I recovered. It was strange, the exhaustion. My divinity was fine, too plentiful, if I were honest. Now that we were in public, I didn’t want to draw attention to us by using it too blatantly. I directed my shadows underneath the bench, allowing them to swirl unnoticed, and I closed my eyes.

The rifting had to have truly tired me because I hadn’t had an appetite in the last days, only eating when I remembered I needed to. Even now, my breeches had grown looser in my hips, and it wasn’t a good thing. I knew I was losing muscle and what I was doing wasn’t sustainable.

But when Mairin shook me awake, the smell of fried fish made my stomach growl audibly.

“Emma, you need to rift. Now. To the Cascade. Stand up!” she shouted, frantic.

“Alright, hold on. Can I have a bite of food first?”

“Fuck! No. You need to make the rift right now.”

I stared at her for just a moment, not understanding her sudden desperation. Once I stood, I stretched before spreading my hands in front of me. Picturing the front gate of the Cascade, I attempted to fold and pierce as Rain had described to me, but nothing happened.

Nothing happened at all.

Before, it had taken a few tries before I was successful, but every time I tried, I had felt the glimmer of the rift, asking to be shaped and molded. But this time, there wasn’t the faintest hint of it.

“Oh gods, what’s wrong?” I murmured, aware of three pairs of eyes on me. I felt the shadows swirling around my ankles, unleashed from beneath the bench I’d just risen from. Mairin made a sound in the back of her throat I chose to ignore as I attempted the rift again.

Nothing.

A freezing wind swept over us, and in my attempt to shield us from the brunt of it, I realized. I froze, not needing the merrow to confirm.

“The bond has broken.”

The words were a curse on my lips.

Chapter 12

Lavenia

“YourHighness,alltheking has left is a bitter red. I admit, I should have already placed an order, but will that do?”

I nodded, smiling up at Sterling. I’d known the butler since I was young, ever since Rainier built his estate so he wouldn’t have to stay at the palace. My brother probably hadn’t expected me to join him, but given my choices, I was sure he understood why I followed him.

I’d always been his little shadow.

Drinking from the glass Sterling had sat before me, I let the alcohol rest on my tongue for a moment before swallowing. Besides being bitter, the wine was dry. It wasn’t my favorite, but it made sense today. I rested my elbows on the table and put my head in my hands.

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