Page 28 of Between Despair and Hope

A gods damn coup.

Emma was insane. She either had more faith in me than she should, or she was desperate. Probably both. I didn’t have a great relationship with my mother—which was clear to anyone who paid attention—but I’d never stood up against her like this. Wearing clothing to piss her off was one thing, but using my birthright to steal an army out from underneath her was completely different.

Dewalt had pulled me aside before they left, sitting down with me in the dining room at the estate. He knew I was panicking. There were few things which set me on edge, and dealing with my mother was one of them. Dewalt took a few moments to remind me exactly who and what we were doing this for, and it helped. This wasn’t real; it was only temporary. Retrieving Rainier meant I’d never have to do any of this again, and I’d have my brother back. Because if I didn’t, if he didn’t come back—assuming my mother wouldn’t legitimize Elora—the armies would be mine anyway. And nobody wanted that.

I sure as hell didn’t want to be queen, to rule Vesta. That was Rainier’s burden. He was good at it. I didn’t know if I could be good at it—I’d hated the idea so much.

I stared into the dark burgundy liquid in my glass, allowing my thoughts to drift to the woman they’d often been dwelling on. I wasn’t worried about her; she could take care of herself. And gods, was that attractive. Mairin was strong, smart, and she didn’t have to be held accountable to anyone but herself. She would never have responsibilities she didn’t want, and she was confident in what she did with her life. It was intimidating.

I sighed, tossing back the rest of my wine—a mistake I rued immediately. I was moping, and I needed to stop. Finding Emma again had made me so gods damned happy, but I’d have been lying to myself if I said it had nothing to do with Rainier finally marrying, solidifying his role as future king and solidifying me as unimportant. It was selfish, but as our father had grown sicker and Rainier had grown no closer to choosing someone to bond with, I’d been quite stressed about it.

I didn’t like being stressed.

With Rainier gone, it was all I’d felt. And I’d had my mother to contend with on top of it. Working with her daily was torment enough, but having to listen to her prattle on about Elora not being my brother’s child wore on my spirit. She almost seemed more worried about that than she did about actually rescuing him. I’d tried to convince her not to rely on Ashmont, to give Emma some sort of hope, but if there was something Shivani Vestana did not do, it was bend.

Believe me, Lavenia. I want your brother returned more than you do, considering you stand to inherit the crown if he does not.

Sterling was back, refilling my wine before turning toward the door, footsteps soft.

“Princess?” he asked.

“Mm?”

“You’ve always known how to make your brother shine. Now it’s your turn. You can do it.” The grey at his temples had spread considerably in the past year, and I watched the corners of his eyes crinkle as he gave me a tight smile.

“I’m only the spare,” I said, surprising myself by speaking the words aloud.

“I don’t think you’reonlyanything, Your Highness.”

Sterling had left me to my thoughts, and I only allowed myself to sit and pout into my glass of wine for an hour or so before finally meandering up to bed. Though my body was tired as I dragged myself up the stairs, the moment I laid down, sleep evaded me. I tossed and turned for a long time until I was finally able to get a few hours’ rest before Raj arrived.

And arrive he did.

I woke up to an earth-shaking blast, and I scrambled out of bed. It was still dark outside, long before dawn, and I tossed on my robe before stampeding down the stairs. Sterling came running down the hallway, dressed in a striped nightgown which fell to his knees. If I had time, I would have made fun of him.

“What was that?”

“I don’t know, Your Highness. The wards?” He held a candlestick, the moon coming through the windows not quite enough for us to see by. Could my mother do something like that to the wards? Was she attempting to stop me before I’d even done anything? But when I looked outside, I only saw three figures halfway down the drive.

This wasn’t my mother’s style. She would have either come alone to guilt trip me herself, or she would’ve had an entourage. Though, whatever caused that blast was enough to intimidate. Glancing around, I saw a cloak tossed over a chaise and pulled it around me.

I was looking for a weapon when the house shook again, the glass in the panes rattling.

“Divine hell,” I mumbled, pushing the door open.

“Oi, Venia! Get your sweet ass over here, and let us in!”

I groaned as I headed toward the three figures, pulling my cloak tight. I’d know that annoying voice anywhere. “Hanwen’s ass, Nixy,” I shouted back. “Knock hard enough?”

“Sorry, that was me,” a feminine voice called out. I was closing in on them, recognizing Nix and Raj standing on either side of the woman. She was taller than me with long black hair, and I thought I’d heard an accent.

“Aida,” she said with a wave as I neared them. “Elvish. Sorry, I’m not good at being delicate, and it was the best I could do. He told me to do it.” She leaned in toward Raj, and even in the moonlight, I could see his body language change from her touch. I looked at him a beat too long but waited, deciding to tease him later.

“I don’t know how to drop the wards for just the three of you, and I’m not dropping the entire thing,” I said, frowning. I wasn’t about to repeat the same mistake my brother made all those years ago. He’d only needed to drop it for Emma so she could leave with him, but the two of them had dropped them entirely.

“Oh, you just step outside it, and I’ll redraw it. Easy.”

“Easy.” I stared.

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