Page 35 of Between Despair and Hope

Carefully, I used my bad arm to hold her head steady as I reared my good one back, and I punched her as hard as I could in the temple. She fell down on the table beside me, and I rotated, pinning her thigh under my knee. I punched her in the eye as hard as I could as she screamed.

“Rainier, stop, you’re hurting me!” I ignored her and punched her again. With my strong arm unusable, I wasn’t able to hit her as hard as I wanted. I hoped if I hit her enough, the blows would kill the shifter bitch. She was unconscious when the brute came in to pull me off her.

Unfortunately, her chest still rose with a breath.

Chapter 15

Emmeline

Wemadeitbackto the Cascade in record time. Cyran rode with Mairin, and I couldn’t help but find some amusement in his expression. Mairin had told me he was especially skittish around her, and I assumed it was because she was a merrow. Every time we stopped, he was quick to dismount and put distance between the two of them. I wasn’t sure if it heartened the others to have the prince back or if it was because we got a few hours’ rest, but spirits were high on the ride back to the fortress.

It did not last.

I knew it had only been a day, but the lack of additional soldiers and no word from Raj or Lavenia worried me. I couldn’t expect her to overthrow her mother in a day, but I wasn’t sure how long we could wait for reinforcements before we left for Darkhold. As night fell, I knew Declan’s men, those who had been sent to retrieve the prince, wouldn’t find him there, and they would report back to him with haste.

“She’ll be here. They’ll come,” Dewalt said, stopping me from my incessant pacing. He had taken it upon himself to escort me to the same room Elora and I had stayed in the last time I was at the Cascade, while Thyra retrieved food which I would surely only pick at. I closed my eyes, trying to calm my thunderous heart. Dewalt and Thyra realized I was on the verge of something dangerous, and I didn’t blame them for their reaction.

“And what if she doesn’t? I’m leaving in the morning. I think you and Thyra should wait for Lavenia and follow behind with—”

“Do you think I’m stupid?” Dewalt’s scowl aged him, his features going harsh. “No, Emma. We will go together—in the morning,” he added before I could interrupt. “Lavenia and Raj are more than capable of commanding an army. They’ll know where we are headed.”

Staring out the window, arms crossed over my body, I stopped myself from arguing with him. “You’re a good friend, D. I haven’t said it enough.”

“Don’t start.”

“Don’t start what? I mean it. You’ve been—between you and Thyra—” I shook my head, lost for words.

“Don’t start these half-assed conversations that are little more than goodbyes. You’re not going to trade yourself, or whatever other half-cocked scheme you have brewing up there, and neither of us is going to die. So cut the shit.”

A smile tugged at my lips as I turned toward him, stifling a snort as I looked at his lanky body stretched out on the ratty chaise—entirely too small for him. He looked down, picking at his nails, and the flickering candlelight painted his face in moving shadows. His head was turned, so the wyvern pointed toward me. The ink was black, but so intricately done, I had to marvel at it. How long had he sat still while someone took a needle to his skull?

“What?” he asked, noticing my gaze.

“How long did that take?” I glanced at the side of his head and sat on the edge of the bed across from him.

“A couple hours. The one on my back took all day. I know a woman in the capital who does it. Elvish.” At my confused expression, he continued his explanation. “She is more of an artist than anything. She paints the image with magicked pigments. It hurts like hell when she does the incantation, but it’s better than sitting through hours of needle-tapping.”

“You have one on your back?” Though I’d briefly seen him naked at the lake all those weeks ago, I hadn’t seen a tattoo, likely covered by his hair.

“My Shika tattoo.” His eyes grew dark, and he adjusted on the chaise. I remembered him mentioning it when I’d overheard him talking to Lavenia about Rain and Keeva’s betrothal. I shuddered, too aware of the fact the Nythyrians would find out soon that their princess was missing. Too many of my decisions were bouncing back at once, and I forced the thoughts out of my mind.

“For Lucia?” I asked softly, not wanting to upset him.

“I got it a year after she died. I was so angry at the gods—still am.” He shrugged. “I can relate to the tale.”

The Shika constellation was named after the woman whose husband had fought and raged against the gods after Hanwen killed her, angry that the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen was loyal to her spouse. The man had somehow stripped Hanwen and Rhia’s child of immortality in retribution. I’d only half-believed in the gods until they meddled in my life only a few weeks ago, and I wondered if the story was true. Had Rhia and Hanwen been forced to continue living their immortal existence after their child aged and died?

“Do you think you’ll always be this angry?”

“Do birds sing?” Dewalt snorted before lifting a hand to his face and sighing. “Fuck, Emma. I don’t know. I’m…tired. I don’t know if I have it in me to be angry anymore. Don’t say shit. Don’t make me regret telling you this, but seeing Rainier happy again gave me hope.”

He sat up from where he’d been lounging, smoothing his large hands down his thighs, not looking at me. I didn’t move, just waiting, unsure of what to say and certain he had more to get off his chest. He rewarded my patience when he cleared his throat, still looking down.

“She’s dead—I saw her body, know she’s dead. Iknowthis. I also know that I haven’t been able to emotionally tie myself to someone like that ever since. Rainier knew you were gone, married, had no fucking hopes of ever seeing you again. And you came back, and he suddenly had this life, this whole gods damned family, that he’d only ever dreamed of. If he can get that—fuck, is it wrong to think I might deserve something more too? Not to have her back—I know that’s impossible, and I’m not delusional, but being in love might be…Hell, even if she were terrible, a fraction of the joy you two have would be nice.”

“Dewalt…” It was the first time I’d gleaned hewantedto move on. Before now, he’d seemed perfectly content in his anger. Words failed me.

“Don’t. There’s nothing to say.” He crouched in front of the fireplace, adding a log and using the poker to distract himself. “I’m going to let the bond with Ven break.”

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