Page 47 of Between Despair and Hope

“What did you just say to me?” she shouted as she ran after me, and I couldn’t help the grin I shot her over my shoulder.

“Or perhaps you have. I don’t know what you’re into. I didn’t think novices were supposed to—”

I was cut off as my beast slammed to the ground in front of us, ready. Lux was gorgeous, with translucent wings and a rainbow of color on each white scale. Blue eyes that made me want to die blinked down at me, and even I was impressed, although I’d had time to get used to her. I turned toward the novice, expecting shock and awe as she took in the glorious, opalescent creature in front of us. Instead, she looked me up and down, nose crinkled.

“Is that stench coming fromyou?”

Chapter 19

Rainier

Thesmokegrewthickin my cell, and I tried to stay awake as I sat against the cold stone. I considered attempting to crawl into the hallway so the dampening rock wouldn’t restrict Em when she found me, but the pressure on my joints as I bent them was too fucking much. So, I sat and waited. For her.

Em was here.MyEm. Not some gods damned abomination made to deceive me.

I heard a roar from above, and I shuddered, uncertain about what hell Declan was using to defend Darkhold. The knowledge Emma was out there, fighting for me, stirred up something in my gut—pride mixed with nauseating fear. If Declan somehow caught her, all of this would have been for nothing. And the fact she risked herself pissed me off. I had been trying to keep her away from Declan, and here she was, walking straight into the wolf’s den.

Because of me.

Dewalt had been right about one thing; she would be angry with him for leaving me. But I had made a promise to the kind novice. The ground shook above me as if something had collapsed, dust and debris falling down. The censer hanging from the ceiling swung in a wide arc, burnt pieces of draíbea falling to the ground.

I took a deep breath and shuddered as I exhaled. Would I be able to look at her the same? She was my wife, my twin flame, the one woman I loved and held above all else.

And I was petrified to see her.

I ran my hand over my face and instantly regretted it, wincing where my eyes were swollen from the last beating I’d received. Why the fuck did Declan bother having my face shaved? For the first time, I wondered how bad I looked. The look on Dewalt’s face was—fuck. I must have looked like shit. Glancing down, I noticed my pants hanging off my waist. They weren’t my pants, so it was possible they were too large for me. Based on Dewalt’s reaction, I didn’t think that was the case.

“Rain!”

It washervoice. Ragged and terrified, but hers.

Wasn’t it? What if it was some sort of trick? What if it was the shifter come to kill me or trick me and execute me early? That would be a blow to Declan’s pride, but the end result would be the same. Me, dead at his hands.

“Rainier, where are you?” Her voice was rough, as if she’d been screaming my name for a while.

I palmed the dagger in my pocket, even though I knew I’d be able to tell it was her. I was lucid, thanks to the vomiting Nor inflicted upon me. My throat and abdomen were surprisingly sore from the forceful expulsion of the muck which kept me hazy. But because of it, I’d know her. My Emma would be instantly recognizable. I would know, and it would be fine. I took a deep breath, steadying myself.

“Here,” I croaked, and I knew she wouldn’t be able to hear me, so I cleared my throat before trying again. “I’m here.”

I heard her footsteps before I saw her, the pace quickening after she heard me call out. When she turned the corner and stood in the doorway, the first thing I noticed was the purple bags under her eyes. Eyes I watched widen in shock and something verging on horror. I must have looked worse than I thought. We both froze, and I took her in. Her face was thinner—gaunt. The grief had taken its toll on her. My heart ached at what had happened to us. What she’d been going through without me. The loss of our girl.

But this was Emma.Her.

I knew it instantly, even without being able to feel the bond between us, the dampening cell muting our connection. Gods damn, I missed that golden thrumming in my soul. Her beautiful hair framed her face, falling out from her braid. Those eyes were hers, full of life and promise and light. My heart hurt to think the shifter had ever fooled me. Her lower lip started quivering, and my instincts crashed within me. So much of me wanted to go to her, to hold her in my arms, to smell her hair and kiss her neck. But another part of me, the cowardly part, was afraid. Perhaps I feared what I could do to her. If, for just a second, I thought it was the shifter, could I trust myself? Could I stop myself from hurting her? And what if she caught me in a more vulnerable moment? What if I was afraid of not just hurting her, but her hurting me?

“Rain,” she whispered. Then she broke, tears streaming down her ash-covered face. I wanted nothing more than to take her in my arms, but I didn’t trust myself. She hadn’t taken a step toward me, for which I was grateful. Her eyes traced down my body, lingering where my leg laid propped at an odd angle.

“Broken?”

Her gaze met mine, somber, and I nodded. As she took a step toward me, I forced myself to loosen my grasp on the dagger in my hand, leaving it in my pocket. This was real. This was my Emma. Mine.

When she collapsed to the ground, it took me too long to understand what happened.

“NO!” I shouted.

The woman who stood behind her cackled, sending rage through my veins, and I surged forward, throwing my broken body between Emma and the woman who stole her image. She was alright. She’d be fine. Her divinity would heal her once I pulled her from the cell.

The shifter tossed an ax on the ground, and I stared at Emma’s head in horror, terrified she was dead. “I hit her with the blunt end—don’t worry. Declan would have my head if I didn’t bring her to him in one piece.” I tightened my grip on the dagger in my pocket.

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