Page 75 of Between Despair and Hope

“No. Never. I’m not defending what he did, and I am sure that what he did will live with all of us for years to come. But,” I said, watching her eyes narrow. “He was shown a vision—”

“He said he was shown a vision, andyou believed him?” Her voice grew shrill.

“Yes. I listened to his heart, and I can tell. He didn’t want to.”

“Just like you didn’t want to keep secrets from me my whole life?” she snapped.

“No. Not like that. What I did…” I sighed. Despite the calm in my words, my heart ached, and frustration coiled within me. I deserved all of this from her and then some. It didn’t make it hurt any less. “What I did was a mistake. I was an adult, and I should have known better. For what it’s worth, I did it because I didn’t want to scare you. Because I thought it would protect you.”

“Well, it didn’t, Mama. Maybe if I knew, I wouldn’t have gone with Papa to Mira.” She crossed her arms over her chest with some difficulty, muscles shaky from atrophy, and I raised a brow at her. “Maybe if I knew, I’d have been more careful,” she corrected.

“You’re telling me you got taken because you weren’t being careful? Elora, that’s not why it happened.”

“No,” she huffed. “Fine, you’re right. You’re always right, aren’t you, Mama?”

“No, honey.” I frowned. “I wasn’t, and I’m not. I would have done so many things in my life differently if I could go back and do them over again.”

“Like kill Papa sooner so you could marry the prince?” she whispered and closed her eyes. “Theking.”

Astute, my little sun.

“I would have done things differently with Rain, yes. I would never have married Faxon, let alone kill him.”

“Thanks a lot.” She glared up at me.

“For what?”

“You wouldn’t marry Papa? Maybe that’s why you’re not mad at Cy—Cyran—because you don’t care if I exist.”

“Elora,” I groaned, rubbing my face. “You are entitled to every opinion and feeling and thought on all of this, but I need you to try to handle these feelings, knowing what I’ve taught you about me your entire life. Do you truly think I don’t care?” Her eyes softened the smallest increment. “Have I left some things out? Yes. But I’m going to rectify that and make a few things clear to you. I have never once regretted you, and frankly, the fact you exist is what has kept me breathing. You are everything to me in this world of shit. You were the only reason I didn’t end my life when everything was taken from me. Elora, you are—you are proof of my greatest love. Myonlylove.”

She blinked up at me, defiance melting away.

“I don’t mean Faxon. There is so much love between myself and the man who is your true father. There was then, and there is now. You are the best thing we ever did.”

She stared at me for a moment before she squeaked, “The prince? I mean, the king?”

“Yes. And—”

“I knew it,” she breathed, and it didn’t surprise me she’d figured it out.

“Before you jump to conclusions, I didn’t know until recently. Rhia blessed us with you when I needed you most. You look so much like me and with the timing of everything, I truly didn’t think it was possible.”

“Does he—does he know?”

“Yes, honey.” I smiled, hoping to reassure her.

“Was he mad at you?”

Tears filled my eyes, remembering how Rain had reacted to the revelation, nothing but happiness and shock and a touch of sadness for lost time. “No,” I whispered. “Not in the slightest.”

“Does he want me?” Tentative, shaky breaths came from her slight frame.

“He wanted you before we even realized you were his.”

“What about Papa?”

“What about him?” I tensed.

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