Page 81 of Between Despair and Hope

Rain’s smile left, and a low rumble came up his throat, his anger simmering along the bond.

“You will not accuse my wife, your queen, of being a liar again. I don’t care if you’re my mother,” he gritted out.

Shivani didn’t turn, eyes pinned to Elora, and my daughter averted her own, looking down at the bed next to her.

“I suppose I was wrong.”

“You suppose? You’re not very good at apologizing,” I said, voice cold. “Between this and your insistence on listening to General Ashmont, I think it best if you leave until you can come up with something better.”

“I—I’m sorry,” Shivani offered, pleading eyes turned toward her son.

“Not my apology to accept.” Rain shrugged.

Before Shivani finished her slow turn toward me, I made a decision. It would have been easier if I just accepted the apology as it was given, letting us all move on with this new confirmation. However, not only had Shivani insulted me by calling me a liar, she’d all but accused me of conniving to put Elora on the throne, and her inaction nearly cost me Rain. Considering Rain never left the dungeon, Declan clearly had no intention of actually trading the boy.

It had gone too far. Once, when I was young, I might have accepted that treatment. Hell, I’d accepted quite a bit from Faxon. And that hadn’t gotten me anywhere. I’d been isolated, made to live with the past by myself. I’d been made to handle my emotions by myself, raise a daughter alone, and live through the ache of separation from the man who was literally the other half of my whole gods damn soul. I’d spent the past months learning from my mistakes, learning about myself, and it was safe to say I’d discovered my spine.

“Nothing you can come up with on the spot will be enough. I might not have been doing what was best for the kingdom before,” I said, voice clipped and precise, “but now, I am doing what is best for me and my family. You need to leave.”

To my surprise, Shivani dipped her head, quietly slipping out of the room with one last glance toward her son and granddaughter. I waited with bated breath, bracing for Rain’s response. His relationship with his mother was complicated, and I didn’t want to make things difficult for him. The bond was unusually silent, though I thought I felt a flicker of something, and I finally lifted my eyes to his.

And I saw fire.

Banked, just a glimmer, but it was there. He hadn’t looked at me like that, not since he’d been back, and it caught me off guard. Even the night before, when I’d brought him back from the brink of something dangerous with our physical connection, he hadn’t looked at me with anything more than reluctance and heartbreaking love. His gaze had held no heat. Through the bond, I felt just a hint of that warmth, and it ebbed and flowed, as if he were trying to hold it back.

“She seems…special,” Elora said, breaking the trance between Rain and me.

He closed his eyes, a smile tipping up the corners of his mouth as he said, “She’s something, I’ll give you that.”

I caught myself staring at the two of them, a meter apart, and I suddenly felt bone-tired. It was unwelcome. With the two of them only just coming back to me, it felt as if I should have been jumping for joy, holding them and laughing and crying, but I struggled to keep a yawn at bay.

“Uh, so what happens now?” Elora asked, and it startled me to realize she wasn’t directing her question toward me. I’d expected her to look to me to navigate this, but she was looking at Rain.

I could tell it surprised him too.

“Well, long-term or short-term?” He replied, a laugh hiding behind his words.

“Both. Either. Do you even know?”

I snorted, the sound startling me. I was so tired, I wasn’t sure how I still stood.

“Come here, Em.”

Words I didn’t know I needed to hear dragged me toward the two of them, sitting me beside him. An arm supported my back as he pulled me against him. Gods, I’d missed his warmth.

“Long-term? I think we’ll need to figure that out. Folterra and Declan—Did Declan, did anyone hurt you or touch you? Other than what…” His voice trailed off.

Other than what Cyran did.

Elora crossed her arms, looking at the ground, and I reached over, putting my hand on her knee.

“No. Other than the mercenaries forever ago, everyone was decent enough. Even King Dryul wasn’t that bad. He just seemed old and crazy. Declan looked at me a certain way, but no one touched me.”

“That is lucky for them.”

I felt like an outsider to their conversation in the best way. I allowed myself to relax against his shoulder, content for the first time in weeks. We were together, and they seemed to get along well enough. Part of me thought I ought to stay alert to help them through this awkward beginning, and I tried. I tried to listen to everything they were saying to one another, but my body had finally had it. I didn’t quite understand it. Though I hadn’t slept well the night before, I had slept better than I had in weeks, knowing he was back. I should have been more awake than I had been since that awful day. I wondered if it was because I’d been forced to stay awake under those conditions, running myself ragged with a cause to work for. Now that I’d achieved and attained everything I could ever want, aside from vengeance, my body would tolerate no more.

“Mama, are you falling asleep?”

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