Page 83 of Between Despair and Hope

“Of course.”

Moments later, after kissing Elora on the forehead, breathing in that summer scent of her, I passed Cyran’s room and heard the beat of his heart. It was slow, telling me he was probably asleep. Everyone needed rest, it seemed, and though I’d do as Elora asked, I’d have Sterling organize it as soon as he returned rather than uproot the boy while he slept.

When I turned the corner to the top of the stairs, it surprised me to see Rain starting up them.

“She’s going to rest for a while. I’ll have Sterling deal with the prince when he gets back, so don’t bother with it.”

When he continued climbing the stairs, I stopped, confusion flooding me.

“I’m going to get some rest too,” he explained, offering no clarity.

“I’m barely standing myself.” I took a step down so I stood a head above him.

“You can sleep in the suite. I’ll stay in the room next to the prince.”

“Her door is locked, and she doesn’t want to see him. I don’t think he’d try anything, and I definitely don’t think she’d let him if he did.”

“What? Gods, that wasn’t even something—” He shook his head, blinking, as he rubbed a hand over his jaw. “I didn’t even think about that. I’m going to have to think about things like that. Divine fucking hell.”

I laughed softly, but when I realized if that wasn’t his reason for going upstairs, it meant he had another.

“Rain…” I trailed off.

“It’s not safe yet.”

“Well, unless you intend on kicking Mairin out or using your sister and Dewalt’s room, you’re going to have to build another wing.”

“Ven and Dewalt have a suite in the palace. I’ll sleep in their room.”

“Or you can try. With me.”

“I—Em,” he murmured. “I don’t trust myself.”

Give him time.

“Alright,” I said.

He was with me, back in my presence, and it should have been enough. And yet, it almost felt like he hadn’t returned at all. There was no grand return, no reunion. Though we’d renewed the bond of the body, I had been too scared to truly inspect the other golden strings, fearful they’d grown weaker. He was here with me physically, but was it enough? Was the bond of our minds still just as strong? Would it ever be the same again?

I swallowed, moving aside so he could continue up the stairs. And when he did, I tried to swallow the emotions, did my best to protect him from the guilt I knew he’d feel if it came down the bond. I bit my lip as hard as I could as I took my final step and glanced up at him over my shoulder. He stood there, watching me, and I could see the turmoil on his face, feel it in our connection. Inhaling deeply, I calmed myself and turned away from him. He needed my patience, needed my soft. If I pushed him before he was ready, I was no better than those who tormented him. Slowly, I made my way past the front entry, down the small hallway into the great room, only to find him standing in the hall leading to our suite. I hadn’t even heard the rift.

His hands were in his pockets as he leaned one shoulder against the wall. Just the weight of his hands made his spare pants from the Cascade hang low on his hips. He had rolled his sleeves up, the corded muscle in his arm flexing, and I knew he’d clenched his fist within his pockets. His emerald-green gaze met mine, and a flicker of nervousness was replaced with something else. Determination perhaps. I pushed my hair behind my shoulder as I approached, allowing him to see the freckles he said looked like the Damia constellation.

“You stood up to my mother quite well today.”

I laughed, stopping far enough back to give him space. “I called her a coward and told her to get the fuck out not even a week ago. I’d say I was rather tame today.”

Tracking his movements, my eyes dropped to his feet as he took a step forward, easing the distance between us.

“You’re anything but tame, Em.”

My heart hammered beneath my skin, and I hoped he wasn’t listening for it. I wasn’t sure I’d ever get used to him being able to harrow.

“It was quite nice to see her taken by surprise,” I murmured.

“She made it harder for you, didn’t she?” Another step. I nodded, afraid of moving and threatening our progress. “I want to know everything. The hard things. I—When I thought Elora was dead, I thought you’d never forgive me.”

“I’ll tell you—but not yet. I don’t want to burden you. Your burdens are heavy enough.”

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