Page 84 of Between Despair and Hope

Another step, and the toe of his boot touched the toe of the slippers I wore.

“We made a promise, Vestana.”

I blew out a breath, smiling at his use of my new surname. “What’s that?” I asked.

“I will shoulder your burdens and swallow your secrets.”

“I think we should take into consideration whose burdens are heavier when we begin sharing them. Whoever has the heavier load shouldn’t take on more if the other person can reliably carry it on their own,” I rambled.

He was so close to me, banked fire dancing in his eyes and a small smile playing on his lips. I grew nervous. I wanted to obey, to share what I’d gone through, but I wanted him to share too. And I doubted he was ready for that.

“I think that line is open to interpretation. How about you give me a burden, and I’ll give you a secret?” he asked.

“Fine.”

“Fine?” That crooked smile lulled me into compliance.

“I’ll start with a very easy one. Barely a needle of hay to add to your stack.”

“Please do,” he said, grinning.

“Even in her state, Elora tossed and turned so much. I woke up with bruised shins quite often, but I didn’t want her to wake alone.”

“Are they better now?”

“What?”

“Your shins. Are they better? I’ll heal them for you. I can do that now, you know.”

Though his eyes glimmered with mischief, I felt something through the bond which didn’t quite match, making his comment feel forced.

“I’m alright, thank you. Rain, you don’t have to do this. I know you’re trying for me, but please. Don’t force yourself to stand here and talk to me if it hurts you.”

“I haven’t told you my secret.”

“Rain.”

“When I thought you were both dead, I wanted to follow. Tried to follow by harassing Declan. I don’t know how long it was before he told me you survived. I stopped egging him on after that. “

“Gods, Rain. I’m so sorry. We’re all fine—safe.”

“I’m not done.” He put a hand up, brushing my hair away that had fallen forward, darting his eyes to my collarbone, before gently pushing me back against the wall. “When I thought you were both dead, I wanted to die too. To join you. Not a single part of me wants to live without you. And it’s fucking killing me that I’m afraid to touch you, to kiss you, when there’s nothing I want more.”

“I won’t let you hurt me,” I whispered. “I promise.”

“And what if you don’t have a choice? What if you don’t wake up to stop me next time?”

“That’s not going to—” I gasped when he traced my jaw and his hand brushed my hair behind my ear. “Happen,” I breathed.

His fingertips dragged down my neck, crossing over my shoulder. “How can you be so sure?”

“The bond won’t let you;Iwon’t let you.”

“You’ll use your divinity against me? You’ll burn my flesh to stop me?”

“I—I don’t know if I can promise that.”

“Then I don’t see how I can try. Not yet, anyway.” He withdrew his touch.

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