Page 90 of Between Despair and Hope

“Hello, Elora. It’s Lavenia. Your fa—Rainier’s sister. Can I come in?” Taking a step toward her door, I waited for her reply.

“Uh, sure.”

Rounding the corner, I found a much more vibrant version of the girl I’d watched sleep for weeks. Cheeks bright and eyes shining, she sat at the desk which had clearly been brought in from another room, shoved tight against the bookcase on the wall. Sheets of paper covered every bit of the table—sketches of people, flowers, trees, and animals in various stages of completion. She had a small glass of water and a paintbrush, with a few different pigments sitting in front of her.

A cord pulled her hair back, and I took some joy in seeing the shining curls. Emma had fine waves and clearly knew little about curly hair like her daughter’s. It had amazed her when the oil I brought made working through the tangles easy. She used it regularly while Elora slept, doing as I’d shown her. If she had gone much longer without waking, I would have suggested doing something else with it to protect it, but with Emma’s constant attention and silk pillowcases, I was glad to see how healthy it looked considering the poor thing had slept on it with little movement for six weeks.

She turned in her chair, looking up at me, and all I could see was Lucia. I knew she was my niece, half of my brother in there somewhere, but that girl on the chair was my best friend, especially with her hair pulled back. I’d been the baby, annoyance to my brother and Dewalt, and Lucia had been kind to me from the very beginning. My heart ached. It wasn’t often I thought of her anymore, but when I did, the pain still felt fresh.

I knew she was always on Dewalt’s mind, and, while I didn’t blame him for it at all, I’d healed after all these years where he had not. For so long, it felt like I couldn’t properly grieve her. With Rainier being heartbroken over his friend’s death and Emma’s leaving and Dewalt being a shred of a person, I felt selfish for my feelings.

I was still young, only sixteen, but I was the only one who held it together during that time. Someone had to. Though Rainier protected me and talked to me like I was a nuisance, I knew I was the only reason those two made it through those first few years. It was by divine intervention that they didn’t die from the alcohol and draíbea they poured into their bodies.

Lost in my thoughts about those years of pain and hardship, I leaned against the door frame, not sure what to say.

“I know I look like her,” she said. I smiled, and she returned it; it took my breath away. Gone was Lucia, and in her place was my brother. The curve of her lips and the crinkle at the corners of her eyes weren’t present in sleep. But looking at her now, it was interesting to see all the people who made her.

“You do, but you look like him—Rainier—too. Your expressions.”

“That’s what Dewalt said.”

“Ah, you’ve met Dewalt then?”

“He helps with my exercises every day.” There was a tightness in my chest. I would have known that and could have come with him if I wasn’t busy wallowing in self pity. “I can walk for quite a distance now, but Mama still won’t let me do the stairs. She won’t even do them with me. She opens a rift and makes me go that way.”

I chuckled, then said, “I’m sure she’s just worried. You’ll be going down stairs in no time.”

“Will you take me? I want to get my charcoals, and I was using them in the dining room yesterday.”

She looked down at the ground, not making eye contact with me, but little did she know, I was just as mischievous as her when I was young. “You’ve met your mother, right? I wasn’t born yesterday. She’ll have both our asses.”

“If she catches me,” Elora offered, entirely too nonchalant before tugging her bottom lip between her teeth.

“And if you fall and get hurt?”

“I’ll say I went by myself. You were never here,” she added, and I laughed out loud.

“Then why wait until I’m here? Why not just do it yourself from the start?”

“Alright, maybe I’m a little scared to do it all on my own. But now that you’re here…”

She stood, barely coming up past my chin. She was a little spitfire.

“Emma made it seem like you were well-behaved. Obedient, even.”

“Yeah, well, things change,” she replied, a hint of darkness in her voice. Eyeing her, I wondered how she was handling all of it. The world had thrown a lot at her all at once.

“Things do change, that’s true. And just so you know, change doesn’t get any easier, even when you’re old, like me and your mother.”

“You’re not that old.”

“I performed the bond a decade ago. I’m closer to your mother’s age, even though I look closer to yours.”

“Who are you bonded to?”

“Uh, no one, anymore. I was bonded to Dewalt until recently.”

“Oh. Uh…”

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