Page 95 of Between Despair and Hope

“She wanted to warn me.”

“To warn you?” I barked a laugh. “Shecalled things off withme!”

“Not about that. She wanted to warn me about your visit the night Dewalt told you he wanted to end the bond.”

My stomach dropped.

“I didn’t—we didn’t—I just wanted to talk to her,” I stuttered.

“I know,” Mairin offered, calmer than I would’ve expected. “She didn’t accuse you of anything untoward.”

I exhaled a breath of relief. “Dewalt just took me by surprise, and Nixy got me drunk at a tavern after he brought me back to the capital, and I found myself at Brenna’s, and I—”

And I went to someone who I knew once loved me, who had once wanted to be with me. I went to seek validation from someone whose love I’d never doubted when I had it.

“I had suspected you might react that way. Told Dewalt as much. Brenna told me you don’t know how to be alone, and I think she’s right,” Mairin said.

I stared down at my hands in my lap.

“Gods damn it, Brenna,” I muttered. “Wait, he talked to you?”

“He did.”

“Care to share?”

“He had a suspicion he wanted to verify before he made his decision.” She shrugged.

“And whatever it was made you want to stay away from me.”

“No. I wanted to give you space to learn to be alone. But this is me telling you I give that space reluctantly. That I would much rather fall asleep beside you and listen to you talk in your dreams. That I would much rather bury my head between your legs and hear your sweet moans as you clench around my fingers. This is me telling you to figure out who you are and what you want.”

Explosive heat tore through me, and my lips parted. I sure as hell hadn’t been expecting that.

“Tell me when you know,” she said, leaning forward and pressing a soft kiss to my lips. “And don’t lie to me just because you miss my tongue.”

“Know what?” I asked on an exhale.

“Who you are.”

Chapter 30

Rainier

Iunderstoodnow.Itmight not have been in the same way she felt it, but the imposing black structure housing the Myriad Seat made me fucking nauseated to look at now. Knowing Em was nearby was enough to make me worried, given we knew the Myriad had hidden the true prophecy. I didn’t even want her in Lamera, let alone a few blocks from the Seat, but here we were.

We had agreed to confront the Supreme after we retrieved Elora and settled into some sort of routine. Because of what had happened though, it had taken quite a long time to get to that point. Knowing how close this man was with Queen Nereza, I had to play my cards right, ensuring every accusation had basis. I wasn’t wholly convinced of the Supreme’s innocence, but I’d known the man since I was a child. I couldn’t understand what he stood to gain if he banded together with Declan; he already had the Seat. He already held power in every city of Vesta. And we had a history of a working friendship together. It made little sense for him to be involved, and from what Nor had told me about operations in the capital, I didn’t think he knew what was happening.

But he did know about the true prophecy. That much was clear.

Steeling myself, I moved up the final few steps, wary about the impending suffocation of my divinity. I eyed the drakes on either side of the giant doors, dragons made stone. The likeness was uncanny. I’d have to research how long the basalt monstrosity had stood in Lamera. The gods hadn’t walked the earth for millennia, but had some of the drakes survived for longer? I was about to push my way inside, when I hesitated a moment, feeling my way across the bond with the lightest touch, not wanting her to know I was checking in. When we were farther apart, it was hard to feel her emotions unless I actively attempted it—something I’d learned well in recent weeks.

She was nervous, but nothing more than what I’d have expected. Withdrawing back down the bond, I took the final step and was about to push through the door when a rift opened behind me, and Emma stepped through, running up the steps.

“I felt you. Are you alright?” she asked, breathless.

“I’m fine,” I snapped, annoyed. “Go back. I don’t want them to—”

The door creaked open, and the Supreme himself peeked his head out, a wide smile appearing on his face.

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