Page 101 of Between Fear and Favor

“I am a friend of Foxglove,” I said.

The sea turtle tilted its head, and if he had been in his human form, I suspected his brows would have been raised. He adjusted in the sand, making himself comfortable. After a few long moments, waiting for him to take his other form and speak, I grew impatient.

“Why bring me here if you didn’t plan on shifting back to speak to me?” I demanded.

He only stared.

“Fine. Thank you for hiding me from the guard, and I’m sorry to bother you. I’ll just be on my way.”

At this, his body began to convulse, and then finally he shifted. It wasn’t a convulsion, I realized, but laughter. His shoulders shook, and his mouth curved in a face-splitting grin. The old man was naked, as the seaborn often were, but I averted my eyes nonetheless.

“Where are you going, Princess?”

“You know who I am?”

“These ears work in my other form.”

I shot him a glare, and he gave another chuckle as he rubbed his hand over his bald head. It was hard to tell his skin color in this lighting, though it was lighter than my own. But it maintained that same aged look as his leathery shell. His smile wasn’t fearsome, as I’d expected, and he almost looked kind. His eyes were crinkled in the corners, as if he spent quite a lot of time laughing.

“Where are you going?” he asked, this time a bit softer.

“I want to find Mairin. I need to—” Biting my lip, I cut myself off. Fox had said to ask him about the past. That didn’t necessarily mean I could trust him. “I just want to speak to her. We were...friends.”

“More than friends, if I understood her correctly.”

“She spoke to you? You know her?”

“Well, sheismy sister. So, I suppose I can say I know her. Just as much as I knew any of them.”

I only blinked at him. How could this man, who appeared ancient, be Mairin’s brother? Did they perhaps have the same father? Telemern seemed far older than the Sea Queen. Estri couldn’t possibly have been his mother. “Excuse me? How old are you?”

“I have been here since long before Rhia last visited us. Does that answer your question, child?”

My heart beat like a drum, echoing against the walls of my chest. “How?”

He didn’t answer me. “You will not find Mairin.”

“What?”

“Well, I suppose you could, but I wouldn’t suggest it. Anywhere she might be would only bring you to a certain death.”

“Where is she?”

“I cannot help you leave, but I can help youlive,”he said. Leaning forward, he lifted his age-splotched hand to mine. “The chance to escape is long dead. Estri’s reach is limitless, and it is a lesson in futility to act against her. A lesson which will be paid in blood.”

“Where is Mairin?” I pressed, suddenly worried about the merrow. I knew I shouldn’t care, maybe I should have even been glad to know she was in peril, but I couldn’t shake the vision of her from my mind. That disarming smile and patient demeanor. Her beautiful curls which caught the light and set her ablaze. Regardless of what she’d done to me, each time I’d seen her in Estri’s kingdom, she’d been brimming with concern for me. How could I not offer her the same regard?

“I have not seen the surface since before the Great War, my dear. I see your aura; I know you are good, and I want to help you. If you play the part, she’ll eventually allow you to leave—and then you cannevercome back.”

“You can read auras too?” I asked, suddenly feeling sick to my stomach. The last time I’d thought of that skill had been when Mairin tempted me with a hint of our future. She’d wanted me to be sure of who I was and what I wanted.

Did I know now what that was?WhoI was? A woman who had lived for her friends and brother her entire life? Someone who killed her father because he deserved it? A person who would sacrifice her own self for her people? None of that made up who I was. Not really. Those were just things I was willing to do—to be needed. And who was I if I wasn’t needed?

What I did know was that I deserved more from the people I cared about. Frommyself.

I deserved to put myself first and be put first. But could I do that at this moment? Could I just forget about Mairin and Foxglove? Or even the selkie who, though not helpful, hadn’t been cruel? Could I abandon the innocent seaborn here? They clearly wanted to leave, but couldn’t.

The solution only grew more apparent the longer I shied from it. Fear and insecurity pumped like blood through my veins, but I didn’t have a choice. The Sea Queen had to die.

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