Page 102 of Between Fear and Favor

“All of their children can see auras.”

“Whose children?”

“Why, the gods, child.”

I stopped thinking about the seaborn, about killing queens and missing merrows, and stared at him. I swallowed, my hand lifting to my lips. He couldn’t have meant what I thought.

“Y-you and Mairin?”

“Yes.”

“You have the same father? Hanwen?” I asked. Everything went slightly hazy, and my pulse pounded against my temples. If their father was a god, it had to be the God of Wrath; Ciarden wouldn’t forsake Aonara for Estri. My other hand lifted to fuss with my hair, though my curls floated upward out of my face. I couldn’t stop moving or else I’d stop breathing.

He sighed, shaking his head. “I suppose you wouldn’t know, since the oldest conduits died in the Great War. The seaborn don’t dare speak of it either—she’s forbidden us, but I do not care much. I am nearing death, anyway.” He rubbed a wrinkled hand over his forehead, fingertip pressing hard between his brows. “There are seven, dear girl. Seven gods,” he repeated when I only blinked at him.

“Seven,” I repeated. “The old gods?” That only accounted for six. The Mother and the Father, Rhia, Hanwen, Ciardien, and Aonara—but who could the last be?

“‘The old gods,’” he mocked, scowling. “They areallold. Timeless. My mother is so old, her true nature has been forgotten.”

My stomach tightened and my blood ran cold. “The forestborn believed in their own god,” I whispered. “And so the seaborn…” I trailed off, unable to speak. The seaborn had their own god too.

Goddess.

“Estri is a goddess,” I said, eyes wide.

The shifter’s smile was grim. “Do you see why we cannot leave? Do you see why you must give in? There is no point in denying her—not while you are within her domain.”

I couldn’t think straight. Was he telling the truth? It would explain so much. Her control over the sea, her control over the seaborn. Her enormous power wasn’t special because she was seaborn; it was special becauseshe was a god. Why would a goddess live amongst mortals? She’d mentioned friendship with Rhia, and I’d thought nothing of it. How had Estri faded from our histories?

“But—but you have a prophecy. How can it come true? She cannot be killed, can she?”

“No one has been successful. Just a day ago, it was proven impossible once more. There is no escaping her.”

“How can there be a prophecy—?” I began, before horrifying realization spread to my heart like an arrow to the chest. “Someone tried to kill her a day ago? Smokkar?” I asked, my voice shaking. I almost begged the gods before I wondered if that might have done more harm than good, considering my new knowledge.

“No,” Old Telemern said, and his gaze went distant. Staring at the wall beside me, his shoulders sloped downward and his face went slack. My heart cleaved in two.

“Mairin?” I breathed, and he looked down at his hands.

I moved, feet pushing off the ground, pulling my body through the water faster than I thought possible.

It didn’t take longat all for Old Telemern to shift and appear beneath me. I caught his meaning immediately, grabbing onto the curve of his shell and holding tight. I didn’t see the guard from before, and I hoped our luck would hold.

“Take me to her prison,” I said, hoping this seaborn knew where it was. Where else could Mairin be?

The answer to that question came immediately, but I banished it. If she wasn’t in Estri’s prison, she was dead, and I refused to acknowledge that possibility. The only reason I was able to believe she was still alive was because the guard had mentioned Smokkar’s death. If Mairin were killed, it would’ve likely been at the same time Smokkar died. I’d have heard about both of them.

It gave me hope. Mairin might not have been loyal to me, but that didn’t mean she should die. Her imminent peril made me confront the tiny thoughts in the back of my mind; perhaps there was more to her betrayal than I thought. Maybe there was a chance for her to apologize, for us to speak, for things to go back to how they were.

But they couldn’t if she were dead. Even if she lived, things could never truly be the same.

I had changed during my time here.

I realized I needed someone to care about me as I cared about everyone else. Exhaustingly and completely. With a reckless abandon that would make me dizzy. With what she’d done to me, I doubted Mairin could be that person. But the thought of her dying made my breaths and heartbeats come too quickly. I couldn’t give her a chanceorrefuse her if she were dead.

My thoughts ran rampant as Old Telemern swam us higher and higher, approaching the tall tower which held Estri’s prisoners. Finally, the old turtle shifter slowed before treading water just outside the highest window in the spire.

“Well, go on,” I said, and he merely moved his head back and forth in refusal. “Coward,” I spat, before slipping off him and swimming toward the window.

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