Page 111 of Between Fear and Favor

“That’s…very nice,” I breathed. When I sensed a shadow pass in front of me, I opened my eyes. Dewalt sat on the side of the bed, clothed, with dry hair and hunger in his gaze. I’d seen that look a few times before, and it made my mouth go dry. The heat of his body still radiated beside me, so I knew it wasn’t real, but I pretended it was. His throat bobbed, and the vision of him leaned forward, dragging his fingertips over my collarbone. There was a ghost of a touch, and I was shocked I could somehow feel him in the vision. My senses reacted, skin tightening and breath drawing short. My chest flushed, and my mouth dropped open.

“Ribs,” he said before bending down, moving his lips over my collarbone. I wanted to grip the back of his neck, hold him close to me, but I thought my hand might go right through him. Pushing my head back, I closed my eyes, focusing on the feather-soft touch of his lips on my chest, willing it to be the real thing.

“Ribs,” he repeated, and I whined as he pulled away.

I dragged my fingernails over my rib cage, looking down and huffing a laugh as I did it. “It feels a little silly to be touching skin while I appear clothed.”

Dewalt cleared his throat and disappeared from the vision. Sheepish, he said, “I didn’t want to assume what you looked like. My imaginings probably wouldn’t do you justice.”

My face heated, and I took a few deep breaths before I spoke. “Would you like to see me now?”

“I’ve kept you respectably covered for a reason,” he said through a heavy sigh. “Despite myself,” he added, sullen, and I laughed.

“Be less respectable,” I whispered, and then echoed his own words back to him. “Look your fill.” A moment passed, his breathing growing labored as I waited. And right when I was about to give up, the fur slid down my body. Tortuously, he dragged it down, moving achingly slow as he bared me to him. As he pulled the fur from my body, I felt his fingertips graze over my thighs, and I wanted him everywhere.

“If they didn’t want you to learn how to pleasure this body, they wouldn’t have spent so much gods damn time perfecting it,” he murmured, and I began to ache. My heart, my tense muscles, that spot between my legs which grew hotter with each passing second. “I’m serious, Honor. You walk around with your hair up in that tight bun and everything about you is so fucking composed. But beneath it all you have—gods—you have these perfect, little tits, and—” He let out a harsh sound, a curse and a grunt in one. “You have no idea how badly I want to die between these thighs.”

“Stop,” I breathed. “That’s…mad.”

“Those tight little buds on your perfect tits—rub your fingertips there,” he ordered, and I swallowed. “Start gently.”

Closing my eyes, I slid my hands up over my body, cupping my breasts. Barely a handful, I’d worried if they’d be considered desirable. Many of the other novices who had bigger chests had worn binding garments—so as not to be seen as enticing. I’d never been forced to wear one, and a small part of me had wondered if it was because no one would ever possibly see me in that way. It was a welcome surprise that Dewalt seemed to like them.

“Go on, Nor,” he said, his voice pitched lower and more gentle. When my eyes fluttered open, he was back in the vision—shirtless—and his gaze seared over my naked body. As I circled my nipples with my fingertips, I watched him. His lips rolled tightly between his teeth, and his arm flexed as he clenched his hand. His eyes grew heavy-lidded, and I licked my lips.

“How much I want you, Nor…It isn’t madness,” he said, and he repositioned, leaning over me. “It’s an inevitability.” And then his head dipped. When his mouth closed over my peaked nipple, I inhaled a shuddering breath. There was no moist heat, but I could still feel him—however faint. “Now, tug,” he said before the vision of him went to work, nibbling on my flesh. A high-pitched noise escaped me as I tugged on them, pretending it was the nip of his teeth causing the slight pain. My thighs were slick, rubbing against each other with ease as I writhed.

I closed my eyes, pressing my head back into the furs beneath me. His directions were torment and rapture, and I wondered how long this could go on. It felt like I was climbing an endless staircase of pleasure, and I didn’t know how much longer I could take it.

“Open your eyes,” he said, and my jaw dropped. No longer laying down, I was sitting in a bath. Steam wafted in front of me, and I realized where we were.

“The Cascade?”

“Yes,” he said, arms spread out behind him. Halfway across the bath, I determined there was too much space between us. He nodded toward a corner of the room. “You need to see.”

Blinking, I stared at the back of the woman’s head, watching as her arm lifted out of the bath and she ran a washcloth over her skin. She had long, dark hair, and when I stopped to listen, it was my voice echoing through the room.

The vision wasme.

That bath had been the best of my life; I didn’t think I would ever find myself so desperate for one again. My eyes widened as she finished her song and stood. My lean frame was in silhouette against the light trickling in from the high windows. My torso tucked in at the waist, delicately, before flaring out a small amount for my hips. Each time I’d examined myself in the mirror, I’d always felt like a boy without any shape before dismissing it as a vain worry each time. But seeing myself through Dewalt’s eyes allowed me to see the things I overlooked. I had a softness I’d never noticed. Water rolled down the divot of my back, and I pulled my hair over my shoulder. The slight curve of my bottom was on display, and I flushed crimson when the vision of me bent over, revealing that secret part of me.

“Skies, you saw everything?”

“I believe my memories might have taken some liberties.”

The vision wrapped the towel around herself and every muscle in her body tensed before she—I, I supposed—turned on a heel and marched toward Dewalt. Even with a frown on my face, he had managed to suss out that same softness within me, and I couldn’t believe it when the shadow of a smile played on my lips. I’d always thought my nose was too long, but from his eyes, it balanced perfectly with my plump lips, thick brows, and wide eyes. My skin glowed, and I held myself with such confidence it surprised me.

“I really look like that?” I breathed.

“Better,” he hummed. He stopped the memory just as I lifted my arm to throw my apple at him, and the frustrated version of me slipped away, fading out of view. “You don’t want to know how many regrets I have over this moment.”

“Oh, I certainly do want to know.”

He huffed a laugh, turning to face me. Elbow positioned on the outside of the pool, he rested his chin on his closed fist. His face was damp from the steam, a few strands of hair sticking to his forehead. The detail was astonishing, and I was stunned by his divinity. Mine felt useless in comparison. How he made everything seem so real and vivid was impressive.

“If I could go back in time, I’d sit you on the edge of this pool and lick every drop of water from your body.”

I scoffed, smiling and shaking my head. “If I could go back in time, I’d let you,” I said, feeling reckless. There was a certain rush which came with speaking my desires into truth. My pulse raced, and the air in my lungs felt too hot.

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