Page 136 of Between Fear and Favor

“Hanwen’s taint, you’re all sopredictablewith your fucking daggers,” I said. “At least the Silence is creative with her little darts.”

I grunted as the Scar’s fist slammed into my stomach and I stumbled backward. The momentum of her punch brought her toward me, and she scrambled to find purchase. Whatever the fuck was going on with the air made it nearly impossible to stand my ground. Behind me, the Scythe gripped my hair, holding me in place, as she shoved her sister backward, keeping both of us from tumbling into the ground. Shifting in front of me, the Scythe’s eyes glinted as she adjusted the tip of her dagger to trail up my sternum. My gaze traced the path of the scar given to her by the sister who now bore the name of what she’d done. Starting at her temple and going across her nose, the mark was old and puckered. It was quite unlike the new one gracing Aida’s face, probably inflicted by the same woman.

“Penelope, I thought we were friends,” I gasped, smirking at the Scythe as I caught my breath. “More than that if you’d have had it your way at the coronation.”

The Scar, beside herself, snorted. “Enough, Holata. Where’s our sister?”

“Aren’t you afraid of the flame? Why were you hiding in the forge?” I countered, and when the Scythe pressed her dagger into my chest with a bit more pressure, I stiffened.

Surprisingly, the Scar blushed. “Lost my weapon.”

I blinked, before a burst of laughter escaped me. “It floated away, didn’t it?” My head fell back, and I couldn’t help the chuckles that continued bubbling up my throat.

“Where is Aida?” the Scar demanded. “Tell us, and I’ll let you through my rift.”

“Right here, you selfish cunt,” the Silence said, having held true to her namesake and snuck into the armory behind me.

A whoosh of air pushed a dart through Aida’s pipe, but I didn’t expect the Scythe to shove me in its path.

None of us remembered Ciarden’s Flame, though. Not until we had already run out of time.

Chapter 61

LAVENIA

“You would forsake them?Your family in Astana?” the Sea Queen asked, and I could sense her confusion. She’d admired me and wanted me to stay because of my conviction and care for people—even those who had hurt me. It probably seemed out of character that I’d offer to make her domain my permanent residence. “I didn’t ask this of you. To have me permanently change you?”

I had to make her believe me.

“They have never cared for me as I have cared for them. They sent me to you because I was dispensable.” I hated saying those words, because in my darkest of moments, I believed them to be true. “I needed to get away from Vesta ages ago. As long as you keep your word to me and my brother, this price is not too high. If you make me a seaborn, it will send a clear message. They’ll see that you offer me protection I couldn’t find on land.”

Estri pondered the idea, her thin lips pursing as she stared at me. I didn’t let my gaze drop from hers. The faint outline of her pupil was visible through that black membrane, and I narrowed my focus to that spot. In order to convince Estri, I needed courage. I could not shy away from the discomfort and terror that the goddess created within me.

“They will think I forced it upon you. You will only do this if I spare Mairin and Foxglove, but they will both know you only did it for them. They will doubt your loyalty to me,” she said, frowning. “Perhaps after more time in your chambers, I will allow you among my other seaborn again. Slowly, you can come around to living amongst us, and then eventually?—”

“No. Mairin thinks I hate her after what she did. And I-I don’t know. I do hate her, in a way,” I said. It was easier to lie to Estri when the truth was not far off. “It would be easy to convince her that I chose you. That I chose the sea.”

“If you convince my daughter, she will want to leave. I won’t kill her, but I will have to put her in my prison. She’s far too powerful for me to allow her to flee to land. You would not mind this?”

A sharp pain shot up near my heart, between my lungs. Mairin deserved discomfort and punishment—she certainly didn’t deserve my compassion or my heart—but I hated the idea of her rotting in that lifeless coral cage. I brushed away my unease; there was no time for it. I had a plan, though flimsy, and I couldn’t legitimize those doubts and fears.

“No. I-I can understand why you’d want to keep her here. With the war between Vesta and Folterra, this is the safest place for her—for anyone, really.”

A satisfied smile crept over Estri’s lips, and I was shocked she seemed to believe me. Was I that convincing or was she so unused to being defied that she couldn’t tell I was lying?

She tugged me close. Cupping my face with a roughened hand, she tilted my chin up. I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t move, couldn’t think. Was she about to kill me? What was I thinking, lying to a goddess? Could they hear our prayers, our desires, our fears? What if Estri knew my plan?

When she didn’t pull out my still-beating heart and instead laid a soft kiss upon my lips, I began to tremble. It wasn’t relief or fear or repulsion. It felt like anticipation, and I grew eager to convince her. The sooner I persuaded her to turn me into a merrow, the sooner I could see Mairin and Foxglove and ensure they were safe. And then, I would do my best to free the seaborn—or die trying.

I deepened her kiss.

Closing my eyes, I placed my hand on her ribcage, and gasped as the scales receded from her skin. Estri chuckled against my lips, but did not break from the embrace. Her hand slid around the back of my skull, and her long fingers tangled in my curls. Without moving more than necessary, I slipped Rhia’s comb into my dress. It was the only thing I could possibly use against Estri, and I didn’t want her to take it from me. I moved my other hand upward, over her bony ribs, and cupped her breast. She was always naked, her strange body on display, and I’d thought about doing this to her before whenever her strange melody infiltrated my mind. It had felt like an assault, when I’d stopped my wandering thoughts, and it was no different now.

But it served a purpose. If she were to give me a chance to influence Mairin, to get her to turn me into a merrow, I’d have to convince her that I wanted it—no matter the cost.

When she licked into my mouth, I found her tongue to be strangely textured, almost like the cups on the underside of the tentacles of her other form. I nearly yelped, but I swallowed down my disgust. I didn’t know how much longer I could keep up the ruse. Would I have to share her bed before she turned me? What line wouldn’t I cross to protect the people I cared about? To free the seaborn, and to save myself?

Estri’s other hand slid down to my ass, fingertips kneading gently, and I was grateful she wasn’t being too harsh. As much as I detested this, I couldn’t help but imagine how much worse it could be. The goddess pulled away after a moment, panting, and pressed her forehead to mine.

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