Page 137 of Between Fear and Favor

“I want more,” I said, and the sound she made in response spoke of filthy actions. Though bile churned up my throat, I did my best to give her a charming smile as I shook my head. “Sparing Mairin and Foxglove isn’t enough.”

“Your ambition only makes you more alluring, my treasure,” she said, tilting her mouth to meet mine once more. I pulled away, adjusting my expression to appear as fierce as possible.

“I will do everything in my ability to keep your seaborn content beneath the waves. To stay here, I must give up my land and my title. I will have no kingdom to call my own. You will make me whole in that regard,” I said, hoping my tone brokered no argument. “I want to rule alongside you.”

When Estri smiled, the weight in my stomach lifted a fraction. How far could I push her?

“In time, my jewel.” She pulled my hips toward hers and began to tug at my dress. “I don’t know if I can wait much longer for this. Ever since I set eyes on you, I knew you would taste of the finest Olistos wine.”

“Not yet,” I whispered, hoping I wouldn’t begin to shake. “You will have me when you make me your bride.”

Her brows lifted, and I realized I was probably the first person to defy her.

“I want to see how believable you can be first,” she said.

Before I could ask, the water around us grew searing hot, and I closed my eyes.

Estri had stayedin her massive serpent form, and she looked entirely too large in my chambers. She placed me on the ground, but her hand drifted to mine affectionately. Part of me felt almost bad for what I knew I would have to do. The selkie who had guarded me floated near the door. He wasn’t in his humanoid form, and based on what Estri said to him, I wondered if it was against his will.

“Your mother and sister will bring me their pendants within a day. The only reason I am not killing you is because my treasure is unscathed. Had she been hurt?” The Sea Queen gave a dark laugh. “Your whole lineage would reap the consequences of your actions.”

“It was my fault, my Queen,” I said, still unable to fully commit to a ruse that would force me to witness any cruelty on my behalf. She would never change, hadn’t bothered to be better all these years. I hated her, hated the gods, hated how I’d ended up here, but I did my best to prove to Estri I believed in what I’d said. “I am well, and I found you.”

Reaching toward her drifting hand, I feigned a fond smile toward the Sea Queen. She was beautiful and terrifying. If the rest of her seaborn knew she was a goddess, would they fear her more? Or was her power already so limitless to them it wouldn’t make much difference? Her fingertips brushed mine, and she gripped my hand and pulled me close.

What is love to a god?

Did I look enough like Rhia’s borrowed form that she saw what she wanted to see?

With a flick of her wrist, Estri used the water to bring Rhia’s tiara into her hand. The moonpearls cast the reaching coral’s shadow onto her face. Like a fearsome beast with enormous jaws was about to swallow her whole. She placed it upon my head, gently tucking the curls that floated in front of my face beneath it.

“A crown fit for a queen,” she murmured. I moved my arm tighter against my body, willing the sharp tines of Rhia’s comb to press against my skin. When Estri traced a fingertip over my forehead and down my cheekbone, I was reassured to feel that comb. I swore it radiated its own divinity, humming against my skin.

And then we were moving once more. She didn’t bother to boil the water around us—the bastardized, painful version of rifting—but dragged me along faster than she ever had. We whipped past the prison spire toward where I had learned her own chambers were.

Moonpearls and diamonds glittered over every surface. The oblong chamber was enormous, and the glowing pearls grew few and far between as the walls curved away from the center of the room. The room was so large, the far end of the oval was hard to make out in the darkness. Pink and blue coral held everything together, and in the center of the room was a lush bed of kelp and lotus flowers. She settled into it with grace before beckoning me closer. Glancing around, I found there was nothing else within her chambers. I supposed she had no reason for more.

Her long tail lifted toward me and twined around my legs. Did she intend to test me? To see how far I was willing to go? The black membrane over her eyes lifted, and ice-blue eyes stared back at me.

As she dragged me closer, a low moan sounded behind me. Twisting, I squinted into the darkness toward one end of the chamber. It took everything in me not to push out of Estri’s arms and rush toward the noise. I could see Mairin’s shape, and the mass of curling hair lifting from her head, but I couldn’t make out any details. Was she injured? Bruised and broken? I knew I shouldn’t care, not after everything, but I couldn’t write her off completely.

“May I see Foxglove?” I asked, turning toward the goddess whose tail still wrapped tightly around my legs. “It is clear your daughter lives, but the shifter—is she all right?”

Estri rolled her eyes, and Mairin’s moan grew louder. When I turned once more, I understood why. Something that looked like a sea lion dragged her forward by the arm, before dumping her unceremoniously within the moonpearls’ light. Tender affection filled me when I saw Foxglove cradled in the merrow’s arms. I stared, willing her to rouse, and exhaled in relief when I was rewarded as she readjusted. Mairin lifted her hand to cup Foxglove closer to her, and then she lifted her eyes to mine.

“Did you have her beaten for what she did to me?” I asked, revolted that I might have been the cause for the merrow’s two black eyes. Skimming over her form, my gaze was drawn to her only other injury. There was a long, angry scar on her stomach, reaching from below her right breast, down past her navel. It looked inflamed.

Estri only laughed. “No. That was from when she tried to kill me.”

I forced an answering chuckle, knowing that Estri expected me to convince Mairin that I was serious about what I’d promised to do. “Serves her right,” I said, before turning away from Mairin.

“I will change you,” Estri whispered, pulling me close enough that her lips moved against mine as she spoke. “But only if I watch her heart break.”

I suppressed my reaction, surprised by the envy which threaded through Estri’s words. I didn’t know what she expected of me. Did she want me to kiss her in front of Mairin? Did she want me to swear fealty and love to her? It didn’t matter, truly, because I’d do any of it to get what I needed.

And what I needed—what Idesperatelyneeded—was to be turned into a merrow. It was likely I would fail, but my meager plan hinged upon it.

After Mairin had gotten me captured, I had suspected nothing between us was real. If it was all a lie, she wouldn’t care at all. If our relationship was true, that was even worse. If anything between us was real, watching me choose her mother would be devastating. And if my plan didn’t work, we’d all die without knowing the truth.

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