Page 150 of Between Fear and Favor

Truly, it was just as earth shattering as the kiss which pulled me from a slumber no one else had been able to wake me from.

Better even—because it wasreal.

It felt life-changing. How Cyran could pretend it wasn’t was beyond me.

At the top of the staircase, my grandmother went into a small room with a spinning wheel and all manner of fabric within. I only got one foot through the door when she turned around.

“Elora, I understand you miss them. I cannot do anything about it though, so go harry someone else,” she said, before shutting the door in my face.

I only stared at the dark, knotted wood for a few seconds before turning and stomping back down the stairs. If she wanted to be useless all on her own, then fine. There was someone else I wanted to pester anyway.

I searchedfor Cyran within the palace for an hour before I gave up. After passing Thyra for a third time, she asked me why I insisted on buzzing around like an angry bumblebee, and I did my best not to feel insulted. My dress might have been yellow, but there was no black striping. I didn’t think I looked like a bee at all.

“Do you know where Cyran is?” I asked her, and her mouth twitched.

“Why do you seek him, Princess?” she asked.

“Because I want to talk to my parents, and he can send me into their dreams,” I retorted, wishing I kept the irritated tone out of my voice. Had she seen me kiss him?

“It isn’t even sunset,” she said, raising a brow. They were such a light blonde, they almost blended into her skin. Thyra glanced over her shoulder, rolling her eyes at the council member relocating his family and valuables to their standard chambers after being holed up in the center of the palace.

“I’d like to find him before then,” I said. “I miss Mama and Otya.”

Thyra beamed, pleased I’d finally settled on a name for Rainier. I’d mentioned it on purpose for a reason, and internally, I giggled at her predictability. I’d managed to distract her from whatever untoward assumption she was making.

“He wanted belongings. Probably for new room.”

“New room?”

“Shivani gave him chambers.”

“She hates him. Why would she do that?”

“She hates what he didto you,Princess.”

I frowned, not sure how to feel. As abrasive as my grandmother could be, I knew she cared. Which was more than I could say for the Highclere woman who had betrayed me.

“Come help me find him?” I asked, knowing Thyra wouldn’t let me venture off on my own. If she walked by my side, at least I’d feel as if she was a companion, perhaps even a friend, and not someone forced to follow my every move.

“Of course, Your Highness,” she said. “I believe novice dormitory is good place to start.”

“Thyra, if you don’t start calling me Elora, I swear to all the gods?—”

“You are just like Her Majesty.”

As we walked through the palace, finding our way into the early morning sun, I mulled her comment over. I didn’t appreciate how often I was compared to my mother. We were similar, but only because I was around her every day of my life. She was the one who poured herself into raising me and taking care of me. Faxon was a decent father until he wasn’t, but he didn’t go to the lengths Mama did.

He didn’t sacrifice happiness like Mama.

Perhaps I didn’t hate the comparison as much as I once did. My mother was a good woman who tried her best. It wasn’t her fault Theo died, and I worried my lip, ready to apologize for my behavior.

“Why running, Princess Elora?” Thyra asked, and I huffed a laugh over her using my name. I hadn’t even noticed my pace. The longer it took me to get to Cyran, the more time Mama had to sit with my disdain, and I needed to fix it. Immediately.

“You are a decorated soldier, Thyra, are you not? Can’t keep up with an angry bumblebee?”

A laugh slammed out of her, and I thought perhaps she could be two things. My guard and my friend. Though she was older than me, closer to my parents’ age, she was kind and fun and thoughtful. I was still getting used to this life, but perhaps I didn’t need to sort people into any type of category.

As we turned the corner, heading down a cobblestone alleyway lined with trees, I saw Cyran sitting on the front porch of the dormitory with his head in his hands.

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