Page 19 of Between Fear and Favor

“Be ready,” a soft voice warned from ahead. “Someone is coming.”

I saw Aurelia first, and my throat closed up. Sword drawn, she was ready to skewer any enemy. Behind her, Lasu paced in front of the others. His weapon was also drawn; the two of them made a formidable pair. Though it had grown cold after sunset and they all wore sopping wet clothes, no one had risked a fire. Instead, they’d gathered together for warmth.

“It’s me,” I said, keeping my voice low.

Aurelia relaxed, and Lasu stomped past her as he sheathed his blade. Drawing short when he saw who I carried in my arms, his gaze shot to mine. His jaw clamped shut, and his fists clenched at his side.

“Dead?” he asked, and his wife peered around his shoulder.

“Blessed goddess,” Aurelia whispered.

Lasu swallowed, and his single eye went glassy. “I’ll take her.”

I closed my eyes, pushing down the guilt, the sorrow, the frustration, and let him take my loyal soldier. When he stepped into the clearing, I followed behind. There was no bracing myself for the questions that would follow, and the grief I knew would be etched upon the others’ faces. They’d all known each other for so long. Even Maurice had served alongside Shade for a year or so.

“Oh, gods. Please, no,” Edwina gasped as Lasu stepped closer, lifting her once-injured arm to cover her gasp. I was grateful to see Maurice had healed her, and I didn’t want to cause her any mental anguish about Shade’s death. But questions plagued me.

“What happened?” Anton asked.

I debated holding my tongue, but the ache of confusion swept over me. Perhaps a reason could help me understand. A cloud moved over the moon, making the clearing grow darker. Edwina leaned in closer to Anton, who wrapped his arm around the woman. He held her tight, and my gut twisted, wishing Em was beside me.

“Maurice said she heard a scream, and it made her leave her post. I went after her, but the bridge started to collapse. She was knocked out, and then she drowned.” I swore under my breath, frustrated that I sounded so angry. But Iwasangry, wasn’t I? How could we survive this war, let alone win it, if no one did as I told them?

Edwina’s mouth dropped open. Silently, tears rolled down her cheeks. “Why?”

“I don’t know. She’s never disobeyed an order before. Do you have any idea why?”

At this, Edwina began to sob. The clearing brightened, and I frowned as she collapsed against Anton. She whispered something I couldn’t make out, and the man’s eyes widened.

“What?” he asked as he pulled away from Edwina.

“I’m with child,” she said, this time loud enough for everyone to hear. “Shade realized before me—yesterday. Our cycles were…” she trailed off, leaning forward to rest her head in her hands. Anton stared at her, shock etching his features. This was likely the first time he had heard of it.

“She was worried about you,” I murmured. What other reason would Shade have had to disobey than to help a friend?

This loss was monumental, and it was only the first. There was bound to be more death.

As we trudged through the forest, making our way back to the Northport retinue, helplessness filled me. Despite the fact we had accomplished what we’d come to do, I felt no relief. When Maurice asked about the bridge, even his excitement over a successful mission was subdued. I’d hand-selected each of them for this, and returning without Shade would desperately impact morale.

By the time we made it back to the camp, dawn wasn’t far off. And yet, when I went into my tent, it was not empty.

“This came for you. Seemed urgent, so I took the liberty of opening it,” Ashmont said. The former general to my father was a good man—more or less. But rather conservative. He didn’t appreciate many of my tactics. But judging by the worry creasing his brows, I knew whatever news the scroll contained wasn’t good.

“Well, hand it over or speak now.”

“The Queen is missing. Her guard escorted her to the palace last night, but no one has seen her since.”

Chapter 12

EMMELINE

I set down my book,pressing a single blade of grass between the pages, as Elora crawled into my lap. She’d long since abandoned her blocks, and had been pulling grass and dandelions around the perimeter of our quilt, even as her normal nap time passed us by. Though she still preferred crawling, Elora grasped my dress to pull herself to standing.

“Why, hello, baby,” I said, and she gave me a gummy grin. The presence of two front teeth sent a pang through my heart. She was growing too fast. I returned the smile before pulling her into a hug. I was grateful for her pleasant mood. Feeding had been difficult while she’d been teething, but the worst was past us. I finally felt like we’d found a routine. “Are you hungry?” I asked.

In an instant, she was pushing away. Her smile was gone, and all I could see was a determined, furrowed brow as she leaned into me. Using her chubby, little hands, she grasped at my shift, trying to pull it down.

“Just a minute,” I said, loosening the drawstring and adjusting my stays. Her perfectly defined curls bounced the same as she did, impatiently wiggling as I made myself more comfortable. Leaning against the tree whose shade we’d borrowed, I stretched out my legs as Elora clambered over me.

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