Page 20 of Between Fear and Favor

“Da da da da da,” she babbled, making herself comfortable.

“All right, little love. Come here.”

The moment she was properly latched, she closed her eyes and breathed deeply. It was a warm day for spring, and we’d been enjoying the weather ever since her birthday. She couldn’t hold her hands still as she fed, one little fist tapping away at my waist while the other unfurled against my chest. Tiny nails that needed to be trimmed scratched at my skin, and I gave her my fingertip to grasp onto instead. Her grip was tight, only relaxing after a few minutes. Elora’s eyes stayed closed, and her body grew warm and heavy. She was a steady weight on my lap as she drifted off to sleep.

I couldn’t understand why anyone would want to miss these moments. If I’d handed her off to nursemaids as was expected, I wouldn’t have been able to enjoy this peace with her. Milk drunk and pacified, this version of Elora was the one that helped me know I was made for this.

There was no greater gift than being her mother.

My arm grew numb, and I grimaced as I tried to adjust myself beneath her. I didn’t like to move much when she was so fresh into her sleep, but I was afraid I’d drop her if I didn’t. She didn’t rouse as I shifted my pack, using it to support that arm. Her curls fell into her eyes, and I gently brushed them away.

I didn’t expect her to pop off my breast, but she tore away from me, looking up with wide, blue eyes. Blinking slowly, she watched me. Gods, she was beautiful. A bubble of milk and saliva slid down her lip, and I smiled at her.

“Brave girl of mine, blessing divine, brought to me under the two twin skies,” I sang, slowly rocking her back to sleep. I wasn’t sure of the meaning of the song, but it was the only one my mother had ever sung to me, so it made sense to soothe my own babe with it.

Soon, her eyelids grew heavy, and she nestled closer, going back to the breast and falling into a deep sleep. All I could do was stare at her. How had I created something so perfect?

And worse, how could I have brought her into a world that still had so much strife? One day, she’d grow into it and inherit so much mess. That didn’t feel fair. As my gaze kissed the upward tilt of her nose and the twitch of a smile in her sleep, I was overcome by temporary grief.

I hoped her father would protect her from it.

It was less than an hour later when the man in question came outside, sweat dripping from his brow. His shirt was off within a breath, as he scanned the tree line. We’d been coming outside often for nap time, and it was the highlight of his day to find us, sun weary and smelling like nature.

My chest tightened when he finally spotted us, and his long legs brought him over with haste. I twisted my mouth into a frown, eyes widening as I stared up at him. He couldn’t see me while the bright sunlight beat down on him, but I hoped he’d feel my emotions through the bond.

Don’t you wake this child up, Rainier Vestana.

As he moved closer, his gait shifted. Gone were the purposeful strides of an eager prince, and instead, I found the excited half-skip of a smitten father.

“My girls,” he whispered, an enormous grin lighting up his handsome face. “Please,” he begged, wiping his curls from his forehead before holding out his hands for our daughter.

“She hasn’t been asleep very long,” I argued. “And you’re sweaty.”

“Just for a minute,” he pleaded. “Before she arrives. You know I won’t get a moment until she leaves.”

Though we’d been quiet, Elora adjusted in my arms, squirming farther up my lap. I didn’t know how she knew. The two of them had shared a connection since birth—before it, really. They had been quite the pair her entire life. Sure enough, Elora blinked up at me, somehow already apprised of her father’s presence even in sleep.

And of course, probably because he was there, she wasn’t fussy at all. Dreamily, she smiled up at me, before grasping my hair and tugging a bit too hard. I didn’t think there would ever come a time I was sick of seeing that curve of her lips—even as she unintentionally caused me pain.

She was precious, and she was perfect. And she was ours.

Rain bent down, distracting me with a lingering kiss as he scooped Elora into his arms. He smelled of sweat and oak, and I couldn’t begrudge him for loving his daughter as much as he did. He stood, holding her in his arms, as she reached for the curls that matched her own. He’d been talking about cutting his hair shorter, though I’d convinced him not to for quite some time. But as we approached summer and he hadn’t finished building our home, I thought the heat might make me lose that battle.

“The floors in her bedroom are done,” he proclaimed, as his fingertip burrowed into that spot beneath Elora’s chin, causing her to squeal and squirm in his grasp.

“Only one left, then, right?” I asked, hoping for him to finally allow us to move into the home of our dreams. I had grown quite tired of my proximity to Shivani within the palace, and I couldn’t wait to make this place our own.

“Our room is all that is left. Arguably, the most important room,” he responded, and I rolled my eyes as I stood. “You want a little brother, don’t you, sweet girl?” he asked our daughter, tickling her side. He was ready for more children. I, however, wanted to focus on Elora for a little while.

“Your father is so impatient,” I said, adjusting my clothing as I pressed a kiss to our daughter’s forehead. “If he had it his way?—”

“Emmeline!” A singsong voice called from the large doors which would eventually lead straight into our bedroom. They were my favorite feature of our home alongside the garden those doors would open into once Rainier was finished.

“I thought she would meet us at the palace,” I murmured, double-checking the drawstring of my shift.

“Where are you?” her voice trilled, and I didn’t want her to start screaming my name even louder.

“Over here, Lucia!”

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