Page 22 of Between Fear and Favor

I groaned, rolling over. I had a crick in my neck, and the last thing I wanted to do was open my eyes. My mouth was dry, and I wanted nothing more than to linger in the sweetest of dreams.

“Em! Please!”

The voice was muffled, and I decided to ignore it. If I willed it hard enough, I could be with Rain again in my dreams. I could hold the version of my daughter who hadn’t grown to resent me, who looked at me like I was her entire world. Free from war and turmoil and guilt, I could steal a few moments of peace.

“Divine hell,” the voice said, and I suddenly grew warm. The ground rumbled, and the golden bond in my soul tugged harshly.

Drowsily, I opened my eyes, and for a moment, my heart stopped. I thought I’d gone blind. I couldn’t see anything, save for small flashes of light.

The bond trembled, and I finally understood.

“Rain?” I croaked. He wasn’t supposed to be back yet. I couldn’t see him, and when I reached outward, my hand struck something soft and cold, limiting my movement.

“Your light, dear heart. You need to use it,” he said, with a slight edge of panic to his voice.

I blinked quickly, fighting against tears. I didn’t know what was happening, but Rain was here. Rain was back and alive and hopefully successful in his mission, but I was stuck.

I attempted to lift my hands to my face, but my hand dragged along the unforgiving barrier, and the sensation of a shadow wrapping around my fingertip gave me clarity.

I’d somehow managed to encase myself in a tomb of my own shadows.

My breaths came quick and shallow when I realized what was happening. I’d largely been able to handle small spaces, ever since Rain had helped me in the cavern. I thought perhaps I’d been able to move past the trauma of being stuck in that dark cave when we were children. But I knew now I would probably never fully escape it. Before the dark wisps of divinity could tighten around me, I summoned Aonara’s divine fire into my hands. With a grunt, I used my gift to punch my fists through the wall of unending dark.

“There you go,” Rain said, gripping my wrist with his warm, callused hand. “I couldn’t make a dent on this side, Em. Are you all right?”

“I think so,” I said, pulling my hands back inside the shadows, slowly sliding them upward between me and the barrier. My shadows were stubborn, and I didn’t understand why they wouldn’t submit to me. How could I have unwittingly created this?

“What happened?” Rain asked, and the bond gave a dull shudder. I could barely feel his emotions on the other side, everything drowned out by the roaring need which vibrated the bond. Mind, body, and soul—the bond required us to connect.

“I was having a dream. I-I don’t know what happened. How are you here?” I asked, as the shadows near my stomach disintegrated. I moved my hands upward, desperate to free my face and regain my sight.

“I came back as soon as I heard you were missing,” he said, placing a reassuring hand on my belly. He was right about the outside of the shadowed coffin. My work to free myself had to be done from the inside. It was cramped and uncomfortable, bending my arms in such a manner.

“Missing?” I asked, trying once again to wrest control of the shadows. “What time is it?”

“Close to dawn.”

“I slept here all night?” I breathed deep as the restrictive press of my own divinity left my chest.

“Em, you’ve been missing for more than a day.”

I shouted, words failing me. I’d slept for an entire day and then some. With a frustrated grunt, I focused entirely on my shadows. They’d betrayed me. I shouldn’t have slept like this. My divinity shouldn’t have enclosed me in this tiny prison while I dreamed. When the shadows released me, I sat up and reached for Rain.

“I’ve been asleep. I-I don’t know what happened.”

“What’s the last thing you remember?” he asked, pulling me into his lap.

I reached up, tracing my hands down either side of his face. It had been over a week since I’d seen him last, and he looked exhausted. I knew that each time he left, there was a chance I’d never see him again. I couldn’t quite care about my mysterious shadow sleep when I had him with me, here and whole.

“I came to see the dragons,” I said, finally allowing my gaze to break from Rain. The creatures in question had circled around us. Irses was the closest, and when he caught my attention, he pushed his snout against my shoulder. Ryo yawned from beside him, and, one by one, I noticed their bleary eyes. They’d all been asleep, just like me.

“And then?” Rain asked, brushing my hair from my shoulder. “Did you get hurt?”

Squeezing my eyes shut, I did my best to remember. “I tried to rift. My head was aching, and I was so tired. I must have passed out.” Shaking my head, I could only imagine the turmoil I caused. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” he said, pulling me into his chest. “I’m just glad you’re all right.”

“How did I sleep for so long?” I asked, still confused about everything.

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