Page 85 of Thorns from the Fall

She’s missing, I remind myself.No body.

No body, not dead.

“Where the fuck is it?” I bark, sifting through the couch cushions on the floor.

“Use mine,” my brother says, pulling up his contacts to find Nico. It’s a new phone so it doesn’t take him long, but when he holds it out, I don’t take it. For some reason, I can’t. I have to find my own phone. I have to callher—not Nico.

He hits the call button and puts it on speaker, but it goes straight to voicemail.

“Fuck!” I shout, and Zuul barks at me. He hasn’t stopped whimpering since he’s been inside, and when I turn to look at the animal, he shoves his muzzle into my hands, licking and nipping as if he wants something. “I know, buddy, I know.”Scratching behind his ear, my worry has slid into frustration. Leaving me is one thing, but Zuul?

Would she really do that?

There’s a faint vibrating sound coming from upstairs, and I take the steps two at a time, realizing I left my phone in my jeans when I changed earlier. Gwyn’s dog thunders after me and Remy follows behind. Margot’s calling, and I answer it before it can go to voicemail.

“What the fuck is going on?” I ask.

“You tell me!” she shouts. “Nico called me and said they’re looking for Gwyn, and then his fucking phone died.”

“So they didn’t find her body? Was there blood?” I ask, and I’m unnerved by how panicked I sound. I’m in so fucking deep. “Does she have her gun?”

“I don’t know. Nico said she jumped, and he and Hale are looking for her. That’s all I know,” Margot says. “I’m on my way to your place. When I get there, I’ll try to pull up footage.”

“Okay, can you send me Nico’s last known location?” I ask, because I’m not going to fucking sit here and twiddle my thumbs.

She agrees, and I just stare at the phone in my hand when she disconnects the call.

“It’s not your fault,” Remy says, grabbing my wrist.

“I never said it was.” I frown at him because how the fuck did he read me so easily?

“You don’t have to. But no matter how hard you might try, Roman, you can’t fix us. Sometimes life is just too goddamn hard,” he says with a shrug. “She’ll do it one way or another eventually if she really wants to.”

“Fuck that. I won’t let her,” I say, and then I confess what I’m sure he already knows. “I fucking love her, Remy.”

“I know,” he says, nodding as he stares at his feet. He doesn’t seem upset, and considering what he said earlier, he saw thiscoming. But a small voice in my mind pushes me to justify myself, and I think maybe I just need to say it out loud.

“She’s a mess, but she’severything. I don’t know what that says about me, but I don’t care. I’m holding myself back, and for what? Father is dead, and so is Emile. As far as the coven goes, they’ll either hate me or they won’t. You’re here, alive, and I can have everything. I’m done pretending there’s a future for me that doesn’t involve her.”

Remy nods, and I swear I see a smile at the corner of his mouth. I don’t talk about my own shit to him—never have—because I’ve been protecting him from more than he can handle. But I needed to say it out loud, I think, for it to be real.

And Remy accepts it like it’s an inevitability—because it always has been.

Zuul barks a second before the banging downstairs begins anew. The dog takes off, and Remy and I are quick to follow. My phone’s volume is all the way up, but I check it anyway and don’t see any missed calls. A text from Margot comes through with Nico’s location, but I have to handle whatever this is first.

I shove past Remy to get to the front door and Zuul won’t get out of my way, so it takes a moment, with the banging only growing louder and more frantic. When I finally open it, I don’t even have a chance to look at her before Gwyn’s rich apple scent fills my nostrils. She nearly falls through the door, and I don’t see her face. I can’t tell what she’s feeling, and I don’t care as I fold her into my arms.

She’s here. She might have jumped off the fucking building, but she didn’t do anything else to harm herself. Instead, Gwyn came here.

“You’re alright,” I say into her hair. “I’ve got you.”

Zuul is trying to jump on her, balancing on his hind legs as he whines. Remy’s footsteps fade away as he goes upstairs, and I’m grateful for the privacy. Gwyn takes a step back, eyes bright andcheeks pink as she looks up at me, and I think she’s about to say something, but I cut her off.

“If it kills me, I’ll die with a smile.”

“What?” she asks, breathless. I lean in, giving her a gentle kiss on her perfect, plump lips.

“If loving you kills me, I don’t care. Because I’m not going anywhere. I love you, Gwyn, and I think it’s more likely to kill me if I stop.”

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