Page 45 of New in Town

“There’s live music at a bar around here tonight, it’s called Wrangler’s Tavern. I’m going to assume you’re aware of it?” she says as they start walking towards Main Street.

Grey tenses, he hates bars. They seem to be where his anxiety is the worst. The last time he was at Wrangler’s he had a panic attack and left in a rush. He can’t tell Maddie though; he’s never told anyone he has panic attacks. Brett, Laurel, and Floyd all know about his anxiety, but no one knows how bad it can get.

Wrapping his arm tighter around Maddie as if she’s the anchor that will steady him, he tells himself it will be fine. But the closer they get to the bar, the faster his heart races. He knows the physical onslaught that comes is mental, he can control that. Even still, his legs aren’t feeling as stable as they did a few minutes ago.

“You’re quiet, did you want to do something else?” Maddie asks nervously.

“No, not at all. I’ve been to Wrangler’s for their house band, they’re good.”

“Okay… is it something else?”

“Yeah, I’m having a hard time concentrating on anything other than you in that skirt,” he says, mustering a smirk. It’s not a lie, she’s gorgeous. But also, he’s starting to feel shaky.

“Good,” she says, pressing a kiss to his jaw. Her touch cools the fever rising under his skin. He absentmindedly reaches over and touches his jaw where her lips just were. He’ll be okay tonight because he’ll be with Maddie. Just like every other date they’ve had in a crowded place.

“Ready?” he asks, looking at her and taking a grounding breath. She’s beaming back at him when she nods, and he knows this is right, pushing himself out of his comfort zone for her. Wrangler’s is a weathered wood, cowboy institution. With live music happening, he knows it will be wall to wall with cowboy hats and pearl snap shirts. The music pulsates through the windowless room as they step inside.

He takes her hand, holding tight for fear of losing her, even for one second. They weave between the tables on the far side of the tavern from the stage and dance floor. Reaching the bar, there’s only a space wide enough for one, so he pulls Maddie in front of him and slides her into the spot. Wrapping his arms around her, he presses in tight behind.Being able to hold her this close is one great reason to be at Wrangler’s, he muses.

Resting his chin on the crown of her head, he inhales her wildflower scent. Bringing his focus to the intoxicating smell of her, he uses it to ground himself. Even still, his vision is becoming blurry from the stress and his heart is racing at a dangerous pace.

It’s as if something is lodged in his throat, the panic rising. The need for escape flares beneath the surface.I can’t do this, he thinks. Desperate, he takes another breath into her hair.

“What’ll you have?” the bartender, a guy he knows from high school, asks them.

“Vodka lemonade,” Maddie shouts over the music before looking up at Grey, waiting for him to order as well.

“Uh, coke and whiskey,” he manages.

“You got it, Grey,” the bartender says, getting to work. A few heads turn when they hear the bartender say his name. Just what he needs, an audience for his panic attack. The idea makes him start to sweat.

“Grey, is everything okay?” Maddie asks, studying him. He nods as their drinks arrive. This is good, they can head out to the patio now.Fresh air is all I need, he assures himself.

“Come with me,” he murmurs into her hair. Guiding her back into the crowd, he keeps his hands tight on her and his drink—even though they’ve started to go numb, save for the persistent tingle.

As they make it outside, he finds a corner tucked away from the crowd and leans against the wood siding. He sucks in air like he’d just been drowning. Curling his fingers tighter into her waist, he steals a glance at Maddie.

“Grey?” she asks gently.

His heartbeat is pounding as loud as the drum in the band across the bar. Before he realizes what he’s saying, the words come out. “I’m usually pretty good at hiding this by now. The panic. But this place, it’s more overwhelming. It’s loud and crowded and I feel… trapped. And feeling trapped is the worst, it’s when a panic attack starts.”

“What can I do, Grey? Please let me help. We can leave, I don’t care about being here. I’m just happy doing something with you tonight,” she says softly, cupping his face in her hand and pressing her body against his.

He rests his forehead against hers and lets her touch settle him. “I’m sorry, I know this isn’t the fun date night you expected. I’ve never told anyone this before.”

“This is better than a flirty cowboy all the time. This is a sexy man who trusts me enough to tell me something hard.”

He takes a steady breath and focuses on her voice, her touch, her smell, the look in her eyes. He lets Maddie take over all his senses. The choking feeling is subsiding, his vision becoming clearer. While most people make him feel on edge and off balanced, being with Maddie is like finding his center.

When she tilts up to press a kiss on his jaw, he settles further. He moves to hold her there, up on her toes, hand pressed against his chest. His hand holding the drink wraps behind her back, his free hand taking hold of her chin. And then he brings his lips to hers, cautiously at first, not sure the effect it will have on his feeling of panic.

All at once, the bar drops away from around them. As their mouths move together, she overwhelms his senses. She becomes his world, as always, and it’s everything he wants.

He places his drink on the table beside them and takes hers, doing the same. And then he’s spinning them, pressing her against the side of the building instead. He leans in, one hand propped against the wall, the other keeping her tight to him.

She responds with enthusiasm, her mouth, hands, and hips trying to close any possible distance between them. Specifically, the way she’s angling her hips is going to be the end of his restraint. He moves his hand down from her waist to grasp her perfect, full ass and the way she sighs in response spurs him to take the kiss deeper.

He realizes he could stay. Every part of him has been overcome with emotions for Maddie instead of anxiety. He could be here all night, like this, with her. And he wants to, he wants to give this to her.

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