Page 30 of Loving Bad
When he pulled up in front of the dorm building, he was about to get out of the car and I stopped him.
"I need to talk to you," I began before I could chicken out.
"Okay," he replied as he turned to face me. I clasped my hands together as I suddenly became very nervous.
"You're a really nice guy," I began as I looked at him. He was good-looking and nice. He was everything any girl could want.
"But…" he prompted, obviously having a good idea where this talk was headed.
"I'm sorry. It's just...you're a great guy, you really are...you're just not the guy for me," I told him, feeling horrible that I might be hurting his feelings.
"I have to be honest. It sucks," he said as he let out a sigh. “Thanks for being honest.”
I had hurt him. It was evident on his face and it made me feel terrible.
"I'm sorry," I mumbled as I put my hand on his. It sucked that I couldn't choose who I felt things for. He looked at me for a moment and he reached out and tucked a stray piece of hair behind my ear.
"Don't be sorry," he said. "Can we at least try to be friends?"
I smiled at him, my burden of guilt feeling a lot lighter.
"I'd love that," I replied.
"Come on, let's get you inside," he said as he opened his car door and got out. I climbed out the passenger side. He walked me to the door of my dorm building.
"I'll see you in class," he said as he gave me a forced smile.
"Sure," I said and then I entered the building. I turned back to see Caleb walking back to his car. It was better to hurt him now than lead him on and hurt him more.
I let out a sigh. Suddenly I was starting to develop a real headache. It had been an eventful evening and I was feeling drained. I felt nervous and skittish when I entered the stairwell. I climbed the stairs as quickly as I could. When I reached my floor I got out of the stairwell and entered the busy hallway that led to my dorm room.
Once inside my room, I lay on my bed and tried to figure out how things had gone so wrong with Sin. I couldn't stop thinking about him and the girl and why he'd stormed out of the bathroom without giving me a chance to explain anything. It made me angry that he'd just jumped to conclusions and stormed out. Minutes later he'd been stuffing his tongue down another girl's throat. I knew I should just forget about it and put it down to a lesson learned, but I couldn't.
Lying in my bed staring at my ceiling, I wished I'd stayed and talked to Sin. But then if I had stayed I wouldn't have had a chance to talk to Caleb to tell him that I didn't want to date him. I tossed and turned for another thirty minutes before I had a thought. Unlike before, I was free to do what I wanted and I could easily clear up the misunderstanding with Sin.
So what was stopping me? Nothing. I got out of bed and pulled on the clothes I'd been wearing earlier. I put some shoes on quickly and grabbed my purse and phone. It was too late to try and walk even though it wasn't far. I wasn't stupid enough to risk that especially with all the strange things that had been going on lately. I was on the phone calling for a taxi. It was late, but ten minutes later I was in a taxi and on my way to Sin's house. I glanced at the time on my phone. It was eleven. It was the one time I was really thankful that my brother had made me program a couple of taxi company names into my phone. It had been his way of trying to make sure I never got stranded.
The party was still going when the taxi pulled outside the house. I got out and for the first time since I'd made the decision, I began to question myself. Nervousness built up in the pit of my stomach. I had no idea if Sin would even give me a chance to listen to what I had to say. I took a deep breath and expelled it to try and stop myself from chickening out. Life was short and there wasn't time for indecision like this. What was the worst thing that could happen? He could refuse to talk to me and then at least I'd know I'd tried. I didn't want this moment to end up being a 'what if' moment that I would constantly question for the rest of my life.
Determined, I walked up the porch steps past a couple of happy drunk guys. One did try to put his arm around me, but I managed to maneuver out of the way. Inside, the music was still pumping and people were dancing like they didn't have a care in the world. My eyes scanned the faces as I looked for Sin, but I couldn't find him. I didn't come this far to turn around and leave, so that wasn't an option.
There was no sign of Sin and there was no sign of Jordan and Slater either. Someone stumbled against me as I stood at the bottom of the stairs deciding what to do next. I grabbed the railing to keep from falling over.
"Sorry," the guy mumbled as he stumbled toward the bathroom.
If Sin was still in the house there was only one more place he could be. Nerves and fear mingled together as I made up my mind. Before I had a chance to change my mind, I climbed the stairs quickly. The closer I got to my destination, the stronger my nerves and fear grew.
Outside his door, I paused for a moment before I knocked. There was no going back now. I heard movement on the other side of the door as I held my breath. I had no idea if he was alone or not. The door opened and Sin appeared.
"Ah, you're back," he remarked.
"I need to talk to you," I said in a calm voice, hiding the nervousness I felt. He didn't step aside to let me in. I didn't really want to have this conversation in the middle of the hallway.
He cocked his head to the side and studied me for a moment. The tip of his tongue flickered against his lip ring. Then to my surprise he stepped aside and motioned for me to enter his room. I walked inside his room and he closed the door. He turned and leaned against it and surveyed me from head to toe, which sent tingles through me. I stood a couple of feet away from him with my arms crossed over my chest defensively.
"So talk," he instructed firmly. I licked my bottom lip and his eyes fixed on the motion.
"You never gave me a chance to explain why I stopped you," I said. The tip of his tongue flickered against his lip ring again and I couldn't help thinking of what he'd done with that same tongue to make my world shatter into a million pieces. I averted my gaze for a moment to regain my hormones and when I looked up at him, I kept my eyes fixed on his so I wouldn't be distracted. I had expected him to interrupt me, but he didn't. He remained quiet with his features veiled so I had no idea what he was thinking.
