Page 101 of Surviving Slater
Levi and Taylor had been calling but I hadn't answered. It was difficult to deal with the fact that Slater and I had failed. I wasn't ready to tell anyone yet.
First I needed to find a way to make it through this and find a way to carry on without him.
"How are you, darling?" my mother asked through my locked bedroom door.
I didn't answer.
She was concerned. I had shown up without prior warning, in tears and unable to speak. I hadn't given her an explanation. All I had told her was I needed time alone.
"What happened?" she asked, the worry clear in her voice.
I squeezed my eyes shut, wishing I could forget about the memory of Slater walking out on me after I had opened up to him. My heart felt like it had been trampled on and it needed to heal.
"I'm not ready to talk about it," I told her, turning over onto my side, putting my back to the door.
I wanted to stay right where I was, not having to face anyone or explain why I was acting the way I was.
There was no one to blame but myself. From the start, there had been something different about him. Just remembering his sexy smile was enough to tear the wounds on my heart back open.
Later that day I dragged myself out of bed, still heartbroken but now hungry.
"You want some lunch?" my mom asked, looking back over her shoulder at me as I stood in the doorway of the kitchen.
I had a blanket wrapped around me, and I nodded. I felt like I was five years old again, hoping my mother could make everything better. But she couldn't.
I sat down at the kitchen table. She made me some toast and put the plate down in front of me. She buttered it just the way I liked it.
"Come on, darling," she said, studying me, "tell me what happened?"
"There was a guy…" I said, feeling the sharp pain again. It hurt to breathe. Her features turned from concerned to understanding. "It didn't work out the way I had hoped."
She reached out and took my hand into hers. My eyes watered and a tear slid down my cheek. I wiped it away, frustrated I couldn't keep control of my emotions.
"I'm sorry," she said, pulling her chair closer to me to put an arm around my shoulders and hug me.
"This sucks," I muttered, hating that I couldn't just shrug it off and carry on.
"I know," she said, hugging me tighter. I leaned my head against her shoulder. "It feels like the worst thing and you don't think it will ever end. But it will."
I looked up at her to give her a disbelieving look.
"It will. Time will heal you." Her words seemed impossible at that moment. And there was a part of me that loved him and didn't want to get over him. But I couldn't spend the rest of my life like this, hurting and unable to function.
"I really love him," I admitted to her. She gave me a sympathetic smile.
"There will be others." That didn't soothe me at all. I didn't want anyone but Slater.
We talked for a little while longer and afterward I went to take a shower. I felt a little better once I got into some clean clothes and I ventured out of my room again.
I sat down on the sofa and switched the TV on, hoping there was something on to distract me.
There was a knock at the door but I didn't budge from my seat. My mom answered it.
"Jordan, there is someone here to see you," my mom announced just before she stepped into the living room. I was shocked to see Slater walk in behind her.
His eyes met mine and I felt the shock vibrate through me. Feeling vulnerable, I sat up and clasped my hands together.
My mom looked between us for a moment before she said she was going to the kitchen to decide on what to make for supper.
