Page 108 of Surviving Slater
Levi walked around me on eggshells. He even got out the chocolate ice cream Matthew had stocked for me, but no amount of ice cream filled the hole in the middle of my chest that felt like a big, gaping wound that would never heal.
It had played out how everyone had expected, including Slater and me. Looking back, I didn't know why I had even hoped it would work out. Was it watching Taylor and Sin together that had given me hope? Regardless, it didn't matter now.
Matthew called regularly but the only information he got out of me was that Slater and I were over.
Taylor never mentioned anything about where he was so I had no idea if she knew his whereabouts or if she knew about Shannon, the long-lost sister.
I bumped into Steven in the school cafeteria.
"Hey, pretty lady," he said with that confident smile I had found sexy in the beginning.
But now it made me feel nothing. It was difficult not to compare him to the bad boy whom I had fallen head-over-heels for.
"Hi, Steven."
We talked.
"You just seem really sad. Is everything okay?"
"I had a thing with a guy and it didn't work out," I explained with a shrug, giving away as little as possible.
"That bad?" he said, and I nodded.
"Maybe you should go and see someone," he suggested. I gave him a questioning look. Did I look so bad that I needed a shrink?
"I have a friend who went through a tough time. It might help to talk it out."
What did I have to lose? There wasn't much left over. Before, I wouldn't have even considered it, but I had to find a way to cope with my emotions. I knew from my childhood memories that suppressing them was only a temporary solution that had more destructive repercussions.
"Sure," I said, giving him a weak smile, deciding it was at least worth a chance. Maybe I could tackle my childhood abuse and make some sort of peace with it so I could put it behind me. "I would appreciate it."
"I'll get the number for you and message it to you later," he said, touching my shoulder lightly. "Look after yourself."
I nodded before watching him leave. Despite the warnings from Slater and Sin, I still believed Steven was a nice guy.
My phone began to ring and I looked down to see Taylor come up on my caller ID.
"Hi," I said.
"Hi, Jordan," she greeted. "Can you talk?"
"Sure," I said, giving her my full attention.
"Are you free on Friday night?" she asked.
It wasn't like I had a hectic social life; in fact, the only plans I had included ridiculous amounts of ice cream.
"Yes, why?"
"I want to know if you want to come out with us?" I felt a tightening in the pit of my stomach. Did the 'us' include Slater? I rubbed my temple. I had no idea if he was back in town.
"Come on, Jordan," she said. "Since I moved out I don't get to see you much."
For another few moments I wrestled with keeping my sanity or giving in and taking the chance I could bump into Slater. But I missed my friend and I couldn't pass up the chance to see her.
"Sure," I said. "Count me in."
"That's great," she said. I didn'tfeelgreat. I felt physically sick at the chance of seeing Slater again. Not knowing was too much to deal with.
