Page 35 of Alpha
Ah, crap!
Slightly stunned, I walked over to the kitchen table and sank into one of the chairs. Thought upon thought of what was going to happen bombarded me and I felt the pressure weighing down on my shoulders. Blake watched me with concern.
"Are you okay?" he asked gently as he came to stand in front of me.
"I don't think I'm ever going to be okay," I mumbled. I felt like my life was busy spinning out of control and there was nothing I could do but watch it happen.
Blake was right. When Cade found out I was his mate, my safety would become his top priority. He would make me join his pack. I wasn't even sure how that happened, and then he would insist we mate.
Then I remembered what mating involved: biting and sex. There was no doubt about it, I was physically attracted to him, but that didn't mean I wanted to jump in the sack with him. And the biting thing, that would hurt. It was barbaric.
I shook my head. I wasn't ready for any of that and I doubted two days would change that.
"I know it's all a bit much all at once but it isn't that bad," he assured me gently. I looked up at him and threw a look that told him to go fly a kite.
"Just yesterday I was a single, independent, human girl starting her senior year. Today I'm a werewolf whose life is in danger, who has also just discovered she has a mate and, once he finds out, I'll have to join his pack. I lose my independence and on top of that I have to mate with him so I can shift so I will be able to protect myself."
Blake remained still and silent.
"Does that about sum it up?" I said, feeling my anger rise at the unfairness of it all. This was my life and it felt like since I found out I was a werewolf that it wasn't just mine anymore.
"It is what it is," was the only consolation I got from him. It meant no amount of anger was going to change the inevitable.
In two days, Cade would find out I was his mate. I knew, irrespective of how hard I fought him, my life was going to change. There was no doubt about that.
CHAPTER TEN
Scarlett
After our conversation, Blake left me with my thoughts as I munched on some of the cereal. I hadn't bothered with a bowl and I was eating out of the box. It was something I normally did at home. My appetite was gone, but the munching seemed to ease my angst slightly.
My conversation with Blake played on my mind. Blake was right—when Cade found out I was his mate, he would do everything he could to keep me safe and I couldn't blame him for that. He'd make me join his pack and he'd insist we mate.
This was all so unfair. I'd just found out I was a werewolf yesterday. I hadn't even had time to adjust to that, so the thought of joining a pack and mating overwhelmed me.
I wasn't sure what joining Cade's pack would entail. I made a mental note to ask Blake some questions about it. But there was no way in hell I was ready to mate with Cade. Sex might not mean a lot to some people, but it meant something to me and I wasn't going to be forced into anything like that when I wasn't ready, even if my life was in danger.
With my decision made, I began to feel a little better. I'd be open to the idea of joining Cade's pack, but there was no way I was going to mate with him.
Images of the two of us getting hot and heavy flashed through my mind and it made me feel a little flustered. I was attracted to him, but that didn't mean I was going to sleep with him.
At that moment, the boy who had occupied my mind for most of the morning walked into the kitchen looking as hot as ever and as his eyes met mine, I felt the flutter of butterflies in my stomach again.
It was like my body came alive every time he was near. I wondered if he felt anything around me; if so, I hadn't picked up on anything. I tried to pinpoint if it was the way he walked or if it had something to do with the fact that he was an alpha—that he held that air of authority about him.
I wasn't a good liar and I wasn't good at keeping things from people. It felt like I had a neon sign above my head flashing that read, “She's hiding something!”
"You’re so hungry you didn't bother with a bowl?" he asked as he pointed to the cereal box that I had on my lap.
"Sorry, it's a bad habit. I normally only do it at home," I said while standing up, intent on putting the cereal box back. Then I remembered that was how Blake had found out. No putting the cereal box back, so instead I set it down on the kitchen counter.
"I don't mind," he said as he walked to the fridge and got out a bottle of water.
"Do what makes you happy," he added with a shrug of his shoulders.
I watched him for a moment as he opened the bottle and took a couple of swallows. It was one of the few times he had spoken to me without being angry or annoyed and I was a little stunned, and a little suspicious.
He was never this nice to me and I couldn't help thinking that maybe Blake had gone against his word to me and told Cade I was his mate. But then I thought about it. If he knew, he would be going all territorial on me. I knew him well enough to know he was the possessive type.
